I am new, and just wanted to say hello. I have been depressed for a long time. I recently started on meds that are helping, but have trouble with my emotional state, as well as trust and insecurities. But, if anyone has questions, or need to talk, I am always here. I know that might sound weird, seeing as I am new, however, I know that when I was extremely suicidal, it helped to just talk to people. So, don't be shy to talk...
Hi & welcome, we are all in the same boat here & always happy to see new people who we can talk to when we need help. Glad to welcome you aboard.
I've had depression as long as I can remember. Only diagnosed in the last 7 years, so most of my life was spent in the prison of my own mind. The meds truly freed me to see how life can be lived & things enjoyed. Presently, going thru a med change & not having much success.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression in August. Prior to that I had been in a horrible relationship for a year and a half that was verbally abusive and he was very degrading to me. Telling me to go 'slit my throat' etc... Yet as insecure as I was, I stayed with him. So, in July we broke up, I started on Zoloft: that made me sleep for a week straight, then on Lexapro: that didn't do anything, then changed docs and went on Wellbutrin XL... So, since October, I have been on that medication. I have had my ups and downs...trust me. But, I think I had enough loving and supportive people around me that I just kept thinking to myself, that I am better than this, I can beat this. Luckily, I did. I still have emotional problems, trust issues, and plenty of insecurites, but I am currently working hard on fixing those issues.
My boyfriend of 8 months and I just recently broke up... The reason is due to my insecurites, and my problems that I never dealt with after my ex and I broke up back in July. We aren't totally over, just that I need to be alone to figure some things out before I can be with him again. If anyone has advice...let me know!!
Hey Pinny! Me again. Glad to hear you are getting outside help. One thing that the people here like to reinforce again and again is the fact that it almost always is a very long and bumpy road of trials and errors trying to get precisely the right treatment. One thing that the boards can be good for is talking through situational factors that could be contributing to your emotional problems.
I discovered through therapy and by visiting the boards that my marriage was a major factor (if not the whole cause) of my depression and I recently made the decision to get a divorce. I feel very strongly right now that this is absolutely the best thing, and I feel confident that I can make it on my own without him.
One thing you may want to try to delve into is your trust issues. Trust issues in particular can have very deep roots so it may not be easy to find, but it may be very much worth your while to try exploring this.
Thanks for the Welcoming! My depression has been a battle, no doubt about that. I am not sure if I am completely over it, because I do have my downs... but they are definitely less than before. Since my recent split with my boy, I have written a lot. It is SUCH a good outlet. I have realized a lot of what I have to work on, and where it is coming from. I have also picked up some books on how to beat insecurities, and how to no be worried all the time. And therapy will help, and I am looking forward to going. But the first 2 days that we broke up, I just cried and didn't want to live... However, I just told myself to think positively, and that I can get better. I want to do all that for myself, but ultimately want us to get back together. I just need to realize how to not think so negatively, which was part of our problem. It's not a black and white kind of breakup... so that's confusing me a lot..but I just take it one day at a time.
Hi pinupchk and welcome
Consider looking into getting involved in CBT. It changed my life and teaches you skills that help fight off anxiety, stress and depression for the rest of your life My favorite starter book on cbt is "Been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz if you're interested and many universities offer cbt programs for little or no charge.
Billy
__________________
Don't expect anyone to help you, if you won't help yourself!
Hi pinupchk, boy I wish I did have some advice for you about trust, but I have had a problem with that for years, mostly because of low self esteem, I obviously cannot believe any man would want me or want to stay with me.
Are you still on the wellbutrin or are you just working on therapy type healing?
I am still on the Wellbutrin. I will be for the next 9 months or so... It has helped a lot, and there are no side effects, except that your sex drive is increased...Which doesn't bother me one bit! But it does make the ups and downs a lot less severe.
The trust issue with men, is hard at times though. It's like, I know he loves me, I know he would never cheat on me, but for some reason, I always think he can do better than me. That was one of the main problems we had, however I am doing better everyday. I guess it helped to just write it down, and then read it, and realize how much he actually does love me and that I was just pushing him away.. so to speak. But, I wake up every morning thinking that I made a mistake with him, and I just want him to see that I am not going to be like that forever... But, that's his call, I can only do so much, and I am doing my hardest to get better... But it is still very frustrating to no that last month he told me he knew what my engagement ring looks like, and now, he says he has to be alone for awhile...
Hi pinupchk, boy I wish I did have some advice for you about trust, but I have had a problem with that for years, mostly because of low self esteem, I obviously cannot believe any man would want me or want to stay with me.
Are you still on the wellbutrin or are you just working on therapy type healing?
Lori-
Quit being so hard on yourself I bet you are a great catch with a HUGE heart
FYI- everyone, it's late and I'm trying to respond to a couple notifications before I go to bed so if I don't get to someone's tonight I will try and get to it tomorrow
Billy
__________________
Don't expect anyone to help you, if you won't help yourself!
I am still on the Wellbutrin.. I will be for another 9 months or so... The doctor estimated how long I will need to be on it, and said probably a year and a half, so that is what I am shooting for. I haven't started therapy yet, but I am trying to find the right therapist, and will go from there. It's hard to find the right person to talk to though. I mean, I have a lot of inner issues I need to deal with and I won't feel comfortable talking to just anyone. But, the problems with my boy, are slowly but surely getting better. It's a very complicated subject. We both love each other very much, but I had so many trust issues from the previous boy, that mentally I just wasn't as giving as I should be. We are working on it though... We'll see how that goes, but I am not giving up on it... Love conquers all.. cheesy, I know, but the truth nonetheless.
I am curious have you gained weight or loss on Wellbutrin? I am on Celexa and have gained about 6 or 7 lbs. It isn't that noticable except to me! I don't like it. Does weight gain frustrate anyone else?
I am very active at the gym, etc. But my metabolism have slowed down alittle I am sure becaues of the Celexa. It is helping though. I am on it for the long ride...so I guess I will suck up the weight gain, and keep exercising.
~dagmar
You know, my doctor said that the Welbbutrin will make you lose weight, but I haven't noticed anything drastic. But, I definitely havn't gained any weight. I was on Lexapro, and that made me gain weight. But I just started taking vitamins, and they help regulate your metabolism... It's valled Kelp, Lecithin and Vitamin B-6..It's all in one pill, the only problem is that they are big pills and taste like hay!!
You have to swallow them. But i guess, you just gotta do what you gotta do. I am also taking B-12 which helps with being a strict vegetarian, so, hopefully I will be getting the necessarry nutrients. But, the multi vitamins I have to take 3 times a day, so, it kind of stinks, but oh well.....<333
You have to swallow them. But i guess, you just gotta do what you gotta do. I am also taking B-12 which helps with being a strict vegetarian, so, hopefully I will be getting the necessarry nutrients. But, the multi vitamins I have to take 3 times a day, so, it kind of stinks, but oh well.....<333
I know what you mean about bad tasting vitamins. I always took that kind of mutli, until recently, I switched to a Solaray Spectro Multi Vita Min.... I was recommended to take. What a treat, it is in a capsule form....
which I like, And NO bad taste at all!!
check it out, at your local health food store. Or they could order it for you!
I actually don't mind taking my vitamin these days.
I also take a seperate additonal Mag, and Calcium by them, as I am needing extra at 48 years old!!
~dagmar
I am a virgin to the healthboard! 
