Re: his words left a dagger in my heart
oh sweetie i am going through the same thing you are. i just got dumped by my ex about a month ago, and the pain still hurts. it hurts even more to know that he isn't affected by the break up-- he stopped loving me and caring about me altogether so it was easy for him. meanwhile i'm still a wreck, failing out of my classes and going to counseling. the worst part is, even though he doesn't love me anymore, he still talks to me and IMs me every single day to see how i am, and he even is trying to get back into my pants just to use me. the thing is, i know it would be so wrong, but i'm so tempted because i miss being held by him and all the things we used to do. whenever i see him all the old feelings rush back.
i too doubt if i'll ever find my knight in shining armor, i thought he was it but he wasn't. there's a lot of things about our relationship that i wish i could change too, but even if i could go back in time, things never would have worked out between us. sometimes we just have to accept the truth and the reality of a situation, no matter how much it hurts. sometimes we just have to suck it up and start to move on, no matter how hard it is to do that. i know what helps me deal is knowing that one day (i don't know when) i will find my prince charming who will sweep me off my feet and treat me like the princess i deserve to be treated like. if i just keep looking to the future and the possibilities of "what if" and what could happen and who i could meet, then it helps me sometimes forget about the present and how utterly hurt and destroyed i am.
i just wanted to let you know that i'm here for you. we're going through the same thing right now and it helps to have someone there for every step along the way. i hope you continue to post and share your experiences with us, and i hope to be able to help you more and be supportive of you. take care,