i've come on this board many times and talked about my feelings but never thought i was depressed.All this anger inside and feeling emotional all the time.I've always been a little tense but never like this.I've been unemployed for a month now,can't really find a job i'm happy with.I live with my fiance and he loves me very much.Well,cause i'm home most of the time,i got nothing else to do when he comes home then complain,yell,cry.Today i kind of snapped.He was going on a long bike ride for 2hrs and i thought we could do something together,it was nice weather.He said he was going to ride.I threw a bottle of pills at him and didn't think i hit him,i locked myself in the room until he was gone and i felt like crap.When he got back,he said after he takes a shower,we will talk.He told me he doesn't wanna be around me when i'm like this and he said i need a threapist,someone who can see what is going on and help me.I said to him i was sorry and i will change,but i told him everytime i cry in front of him or i'm a little angry,it means i want attention or it was a cry for help.He is not really good with this stuff,talking about it but he loves me and said he can't go on with this if i don't change.He wants me to be happier,more outgoing and less angry.I wish i was like that,but i guess it's genetic.my dad is like this.Why do i feel angry all the time and yell and then cry.I'm 24,young have a great man and i'm ruining it.I don't know if i'm stressed,angry,depressed.I live in Arlington,VA and i'm new to the town.Where do i need to look for help?Do i go to the family doctor?A therapist and how do you know it is the right person that can help?Please someone out there who has been through this,help me!I don't want to end my life or anything like that.I want to change and i want to live.Please
Your fiance is your fiance, not your therapist. You're only making him think he can't help you by getting frustrated at him. He probably has no more idea what's wrong with you than you do.
Don't be afraid to shop around for good therapy. Trust your instincts. I had a therapist who was recommended to me by my psychiatrist. I love my doc and trusted him with his recommendation and the therapy was wonderful.
I have been struggling with depression, anxiety, insomnia, eating disorder, stomache disorder, blah blah on and on for years. Most the depression is what kills me. When I moved in with my boyfriend whom I love dearly, I took all my anger and frustration out on him because I was angry at him for not being able to FIX ME. He was supposed to make me all better, he was supposed to protect me from bad things happening........and I hurt the one person I love most and who has stood by me through everything, even when I screamed and fought him verbally and physically. Whatever you do, please do not take it out on your fiance........even though he is the only where there to be angry with, remember its not him you are angry with, and you can't blame him for things he didn't cause. Don't make my mistakes because you could lose the person you love most, just because he didn't reach out to find help. Sadly, we all deal with our depression and anger alone. Its an inward battle that our friends and families and therapiest and antidepressants can't fight for us. Tell him that you love him. Get a referral to a therapist and bring him with you.
Years ago I went through a major depression and was so ********** up that I tried to ditch my fiance just as a way to have something else to deal with that wasn't what was immediately upsetting me (looooong story not worth the time for this forum). It only made matters worse. But somehow she stood by me. Remarkable.
Get help. Shop around. Therapy works. It takes time but please be patient. It works.
I am 37 years old. When I was your age, I couldn't hold a job for more than a few months. I hated everything I did. I especially hated the fact that I had been so smart in school and was truly a gifted student - I tried to go to college afterwards but couldn't handle it. Every job I got I hated. I hated to go to work and I wanted to stay in my house. I was a B**** to anyone who tried to love me and I went through many relationships.
Then, I landed in a mental institution for a two week intensive program. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I realized what was going on. I realized that I had some depression and anxiety problems. They put me on medication and today I have graduated from college and have been teaching middle school for 8 years (which, admittedly, you need to be a little crazy to do!). I will graduate from graduate school in December. I love my job and am so proud of what I do!
The hardest thing is to make the first move. You are in a pattern that it hard to break out of - especially by yourself. You are not thinking clearly. I had a huge anxiety attack and went into a deep depression (I cried for two days straight) when a friend of mine literally had to take me to the mental health institute and help me check in. I almost left after I spoke to them (I wasn't crazy - I shouldn't be in a mental institution), but they asked me to stay for a few hours and see if I changed my mind. What I found out was that there are varying degrees of crazy. Some people just need a little tweaking. Some people need hospitalization forever. Unfortunately, all the people went to the same facility for help.
I just needed a little tweaking. I stayed for two weeks for a program where I went through intensive therapy and group classes. I had no contact with the outside world so I could focus exclusively on me. When I came out, I saw a psychatrist a couple of times a month and then eventually, once or twice a year. Now, 10 years later, my regular doctor prescribes my meds and I haven't seen a mental health professional in many years.
It is like seeing things in black and white for so many years and then finally seeing things in crisp, clear color. You can get better and feel better. Don't be afraid to take the first step. Call your local hospital and ask them where you can go for help.