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Old 04-21-2004, 04:12 PM   #1
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Genabeena HB User
******

You guys, I can't even talk. What am I gonna do? I can't even talk.

 
Old 04-21-2004, 04:46 PM   #2
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Re: ******

I just feel so deflated because of the job fair I went to today. I spent 4 hours in a line to speak to the people representing the school district in which I live (where my daughter goes to school.) By the time I actually got to speak to someone- I was just no good anymore. She was deflated, I was deflated. The job situation here is just no good.

By the time I was done with my school district, there was only about a half-hour left. I only had time for 2 more booths after that. Those districts are hiring a lot of teachers. But the most money I can make as a beginning teacher is close to $30,000. And I'd have to move across country. If I do move out of state I risk losing custody of my children.

I have brought 2 children into the world with no means to support them. On top of that, the hives are back in full force, and my physical training is over. I have a world of responsibility and no prospects.

I have tens of thousands of dollars of debt. The least of my problems is that I have no love life. Reality doesn't just bite- it stabs, and twists, and gnaws, and grinds at you....

 
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Old 04-21-2004, 07:58 PM   #3
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Man Apart HB User
Re: ******

Gena.....

 
Old 04-21-2004, 08:36 PM   #4
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Re: ******

I don't know what to say.... Im sorry. So sorry Gena. I just... Im at a lost for words. Its been a nightmarish last few days. So Im not really a useful tool for optimism and encouragement right now. . But when have I really ever been.

 
Old 04-21-2004, 08:41 PM   #5
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solcita HB Usersolcita HB User
Re: ******

Does the father of your kids help you in any way? Do they still see him? How is your relationship with him? Do you think he might help you in any way? I mean, in case you do have to move out of your state, do you really think he'll use that against you to take the kids away from you?
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, real life sucks sometimes...
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Old 04-22-2004, 09:31 AM   #6
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Re: ******

Yeah, and it especially sucks for teachers. Are there other fields you could work in until you find something?
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Old 04-27-2004, 03:47 PM   #7
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Re: ******

Well, first of all, sorry it's been awhile since I last logged in. I've been snowed under with the job search. That said.....

It sucks to be a JOBLESS teacher in the state where I live because there are no jobs here. I do have a "job." I take care of my grandmother (who is an invalid) and my parents pay me $450 a week and let us stay in my grandmother's condo (which she is no longer using). So, it's a good enough job that there are no other jobs (other than teaching) that I could do temporarily without taking a big pay cut and a catastrophic worsening of my (and my children's) current living situation, but it's poor enough pay that it's really not enough to support a family and buy a home or advance myself career-wise. Also, the job I do now is obviously temporary- my grandmother is 89 years old and extremely frail.

My husband is a highly involved father, but he doesn't want to make changes that would result in him making a reasonable income, and he refuses to move to another state. Today, when I brought up the place I have been looking into, and tried to assure him that he would have a much better shot at making it there in his career too, (due to the massive tourism and lively music scene) his comment was, "I hope you enjoy it there," -in a very dark tone of voice.

He will try to keep me from taking the girls out of state, although I don't think he'll win. He has a few strikes against him:

1. He has a very poor income and would have a very difficult time trying to live and support two daughters on it.

2. He has three younger sisters who would testify against him that he sexually molested them when they were little.

3. As a musician, his career keeps him out late many nights and he often goes on tour.

Honestly, I don't understand the way this man thinks. I never have. That's a big part of why our relationship is so damaged. I just don't know why he instists on dragging me, himself, and his children through the muck. If he would just grow up and be reasonable, we could all be happy. I know we could.

Man Apart. Don't be down. Just the fact that you are listening (reading really) and letting me know you are there is all I need. I'm sorry I've been absent a lot lately. There are sooo many things we still need to address about your situation. Like the new therapist you are seeing. She's a good lady, Manny. And like that girl who stopped responding. Hey, you did what you could. Sometimes us ladies get freaked out a little the same way you do when someone actually seems to care and want to treat you nice. It's that fear of change. I really hope you're hanging in there, Manny. I think about you all the time. Sometimes I see people who look roughly the way you describe yourself, and I think to myself, "I wonder if that's what Man Apart is like." Just keep hanging in there, I know you can make it to a better place in this world.

 
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