Hi, was compelled to write you not only about the Zoloft, but some of the other things I read in your post. I am going to answer your post based on what I have gone through which, I believe, has been quite a lot for the average person, especially this past 2 years.
As far as the Zoloft, if you stay on it, have you tried Ambien for sleeping. I know someone that had sleep problems on Zoloft and Ambien worked for them.
Have you read the posts on this forum about withdrawal symptoms of getting off Zoloft........if not, there are 3 pages of them. You might reconsider the Zoloft because they seem severe.
I found Celexa to be the key for me. 40 mg is par and it takes 8 weeks to get into the system. There are some symptoms, like all head meds (as I call them), like the sleepiness at first, etc., but these things disappear. Over time my dosage was raised and I am settled into 60 mg and there are some people on higher doses. I don't believe getting off of it is any major event, but I'm not planning on it anyway.
When I read your post I read into a marriage that (maybe I shouldn't have compared it my life, but I did!) was similar to mine for 27 years (we are now separated, awaiting a divorce, thank you! it's a good thing for me
and I also read into it that you have low self-esteem and possibly low self-worth (been there, don't miss it). These are definitely deadly combinations for depression (don't miss that either).
Everyone is an individual with different problems in life and of course everyone wants happiness. I did some research on the web about 2 years ago and I found a book that changed my way of thinking. It has sold millions of copies. It is called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I bought a copy from the used books at Amazon for about $6, including shipping.
Trying to say a lot to you in text here and there so much I don't know about your situation, I am not a professional at these things, but I see you are not happy and quite frankly.......there is no excuse for your husband to be hateful..........NEVER. He has no right to be disrespectful to you or your children.
I do hope you have some activity(ies) so that you get out of the house for fun and do something with your family or your friends weekly. This is important.
I will pray for your husband that he gets some help because inevitably, you will receive the warm loving reprecussions. You have 3 children to take care and a house, groceries, clothes, etc. etc. etc. it's hard work. You say he works hard. You work just as hard as he does, if not harder. Please do not make excuses for someone's bad behavior.
Okay, I'm done lecturing. There is so much I could tell you. Please work on your self-esteem, you're a good person! I could tell from your post! Keep seeking answers for your depression. Do little things to make yourself feel good, whatever it takes. Look to the future.......there is sunshine out there.
I must tell you I see the old me in your post and these past two years have been so different. I'm happy, I'm handling life. Has it been easy.......heck no, but I have a good attitude and I look forward to the future. If my direction is what you seek, I do hope you find it because it there for you.