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Old 01-01-2005, 01:42 AM   #1
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Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

Hello, I've read around the forum and this seems like a great place...so I thought I'd join the community.

I am 20 years old, live with my family in NY, work full time and go to school part time. I've been quite depressed for about as long as I can remember with things getting much worse in middle and especially in high school. I've always been very lonely and with the breakup of my g/f of 2 1/2 years (this occured 6 months ago) things have been much worse. Anyway, I have been seriously contemplating seeing a therapist or somebody recently as per the advice of a few friends and I really think it is a good idea, but I am scared. I know I need the help and I am sure I will be diagnosed with something, maybe they'll even give me some drugs or something, but I'm terrified of talking about my issues with someone face to face. With the holidays coming around I've been severely depressed. I spend my days alone in my room listening to my music, often crying and thinking of my ex, who I miss terribly (she was my only g/f). I'm lost right now and I feel like I am drowning and there is no escape. I really need help.

Anyway, that's my story. I don't have a lot of friends so I was hoping I could work some things out here. Any advice on how to go about this seeing a therapist issue I have? What is it like? Do they ask you questions or do you just sit down and start ranting....how does all this work exactly? Thanks for listening.

- Matt

 
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Old 01-01-2005, 10:56 AM   #2
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Wink Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

It sort of depends on the therapist. If you've been depressed as long as you can remember, you might want to see a psychiatrist so he can get you on some meds. Such long term sadness can very often be helped by some medicines. I know situational things like a break-up can make things so much worse though... I understand. And I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time right now.
Therapists usually engage you in conversation. Occasionally they lecture for a few minutes, but... in general it's more of a conversation. Sometimes with mine I have to wonder "what does this conversation have to do with anything?..." but you'd be surprised what these people can pick up from you just from talking about seemingly random things. Especially in that that can help monitor your symptoms, etc. I guess as an example... I'm bipolar, so many times my doctor can tell if I'm starting to get a little "up" by if I'm talking a lot and really fast, and if I seem like I'm excited, maybe bragging somewhat, etc. In a depression I'll talk kind of slowly and in a monotone, with sort of a negative outlook on anything. Or I'll talk a lot less. Those are just some beginning examples... and I've never even had psychiatric training, so you can imagine just how much more they can pick up.
I hope that helps a little, and welcome to these boards. If you have any more specific questions, I'll try to check back and see if I can answer them... I love trying to help!!
Kristina

 
Old 01-01-2005, 10:58 AM   #3
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

Matt, it is hard isn't it when you want to do something but can't or feel like you can't. I seen a councillor for the first time just before Christmas. My doctor gave me the refferal. Ask your doctor or a doctor at a clinic. They will help with the who to see part. I wanted to go and had been waiting a month for my appointment time to come around. When it did i was so scared and almost backed out. I'm not good at sharing my feelings etc. So i thought i'd never be able to do this. My first appointment went smoothly. She turned out to be a nice lady. She just asked me some questions and i answered her the best i could and i expanded some answers where i thought there was something she should know. It was not at all like i had built it up to be. When i left i had some homework to do, and i remembered a lot of things i didn't get a chance to talk about. That night i had myself a good cry. I think it was the release, just the first step is over. I go again on the 6th. I'm still nervous but i know i won't back out. I have to give it a chance. My depression at this time was triggered by the break up of a relationship. I understand what your saying. I try to remind myself that if i was better i would be handling this better. So i'm hoping councilling will help. I myself feel better knowing i'm doing something active to get better or cope better. I hope you seek help. It's O.K to need other people to get us threw. Good luck stay in touch and read these boards they help me all the time.
Krissy

 
Old 01-01-2005, 02:08 PM   #4
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

Hey, thanks for the responses guys (er...ladies). I called my GP a few weeks ago and he recommended a therapist for me to see...but he only does day appointments which would be very hard for me. I mean, I guess I could spend my vacation days on therapy, but I'd hate to do that. What about costs? Is this type of thing normally covered under one's health insurance? I have Blue Cross Blue Shield if that helps any. I hear therapy is quite expensive

I'm doing a little better today and now I am having second thoughts about the therapist thing. Maybe I can get through this on my own? See, this is the problem I have, I will go from being extremely sad to being quite happy and optimistic. Maybe I'm bi-polar. Sometimes the sadness is triggered by something, like a girl not calling me back or spending a friday night at home....and sometimes I'll get real happy for a brief moment for no apparent reason at all. It'll be like "Ya know....things aren't so bad afterall." But then things always get worse again. Man, I'm really confused.

 
Old 01-01-2005, 10:53 PM   #5
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

I Know how your feeling, sometimes i don't know if i'm comming or going. I'm up then down and all around...lol... I just know for me councilling (therapy) is something i have to try. I ignored my problem for too long and it takes the will and energy out of you in the end. It is easier for me maybe to see someone, I live in Canada so you see i don't pay to see a councillor, my doc reffered me. Not to say that you can just go if you don't need to, then you gotta pay for it. I'm very lucky that way. I would think your health insurance company would answer these questions for you, take a look at your policy if you can. Here it's covered if it's at a doctors refferal,(government health care you may need that in order for your insurance to cover it. I'm not the best person to answer these questions for you. I'm sure others here can. As for seeking help I'd say give it a try, don't wait too long if it's possible, if your up it can't hurt (or shouldn't!) and if your down maybe you'll get what you need. I know i just wasted too much of my life before doing something to help myself.

 
Old 01-01-2005, 11:10 PM   #6
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

the psychiatrist may be more help at first and if you need meds thats who you will get them from.a therapist is good you talk to them more about your problems and they try to help you out.many people talk to both i do and im sure alot of others here do to.good luck hope you feel better soon. i know how being sad and depressed feels and it stinks.

 
Old 01-02-2005, 01:51 AM   #7
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

Usually if you call your insurance company they can tell you if it is covered or not. Sometimes the insurance company has a website you can look that information up on.

I think going to see a doctor about this would really help you out. I know I almost backed out of going to mine but I am so glad I did. I think it is just human nature to not want to do something like this.

Good luck and I hope you get to feeling better.

 
Old 01-02-2005, 09:30 AM   #8
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

You are imaging the worst. The reality is not necessarily that bleak. YOU NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE but you may not need meds or need them long term. Blue Cross has different policies but some of the care might be covered, depending. Call the number on your card for customer service and ask if you have it. There are also usually local health dept venues and even more informal self help gropups via churches and other community organizations. You don't have to stay long if a therapist isn't suitable; you need to have a connection to whomever you speak.
First girl friend break up is the worst until you have a marriage break up. No experience to fall back on. It gets easier. Of course you were depressed; first time and all the memories you have over 21/2 yrs. But when you get to the third or fourth dating relationship- its okay, that stuff happens. Dating experience is like metro stations; there's another one ahead as well as behind you. We all accumulate baggage and some of us learn more quickly how to handle it better than others.

 
Old 01-02-2005, 12:55 PM   #9
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Thumbs up Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

As far as insurance goes, I can tell you that they vary UNBELIEVABLY. Ours is HORRIBLE- they only cover like... something like 6 appointments a year, of what THEY consider a "reasonable price", which was significantly less than the price of my last doctor. However, my mom told me of a friend she has who has a son covered by an insurance company that gives them UNLIMITED psychiatric appointments, no joke.
I will have to ask her which company that was. She is on the phone right now and I get the feeling she is not to be interrupted. I will do my best to remember to ask her and to post again soon.
Kristina

 
Old 01-02-2005, 05:25 PM   #10
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

Sounds like a psychiatrist could really help you. You don't have to turn into a chatterbox to reveal your feelings; a good psych will ask you a number of questions from a standardized list. If a question is hard for you to answer, you should be able to tell him, I don't want to answer that right now. A good psych will understand that, and try to approach the question later, when you're feeling more comfortable. He will evaluate your mood from your facial expression & body language as well, and your tone of voice. He should not be judgmental of anything - he is there to help you, and is just looking for signs of what's going on with you, and thinking of how he can best help you. If he's experienced, he will have seen many, many people like you and some who are much worse. There's no need to feel freaked out.

 
Old 01-03-2005, 01:38 PM   #11
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Re: Can't beat depression - don't know what to do

Thank you for all the helpful responses guys!

I work for an insurance company (not health ins though) so I know how much policy coverage can vary. I shall call Blue Cross Blue Shield and see what I'm covered for. I'm feeling great today! Although an hour...or 15 minutes from now...who knows.

Crazy...this life is.

 
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