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Old 02-23-2005, 04:33 PM   #1
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Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

I just want to stay in bed all day. I am such a crap mother and my kids just run riot. I just seem to be so so tired all the time. Has anyone ever felt like this and found a cure?
All suggetions very welcome.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 05:09 PM   #2
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GILLIBABES
I just want to stay in bed all day. I am such a crap mother and my kids just run riot. I just seem to be so so tired all the time. Has anyone ever felt like this and found a cure?
All suggetions very welcome.
Hi Welcome to the forum.

I'm sure you're not a crap mother! Kids are hard, especially when we mothers have the energy of a snail. How many do you have? What ages? I only have two, aged 6 years old and 21 months, and the two of them can make me rock back and forth with my eyes closed, while mumbling, "This is not my life. This is not my life. This is not my life. " Honest! While you're on the couch watching the kids run around in circles, and you feel helpless to do anything about it, tell that little voice in your head, "I'm doing the best I can given my circumstances. I am a good mother and I'm working with what I've got." Also, have you tried playing the sympathy card with the little 'uns? For me, sometimes much more effective than yelling or getting worked up, can be a simple, "Sweetie, Mommy is very, very tired today. I need you to play something quiet." Kids love to please. Are you a single parent or do you have a partner that helps out? Do you have someone to watch the kids, so you might have a needed break?

I'm a tired all the time Mom, too, and I can really sympathize with you. I don't know of a "cure" for tired--I wish I did--but I have tried some various energy supplements that give a bit of a boost. You can find energy blends at just about any Wal-Mart, K-Mart, or Target, or any herbal store. Also, drinking lots of water is a good energy booster, as well as getting exercise.

And now I must go tend to my crying baby!

It'll get better. Things will get easier. Best wishes.

Hugs--EoR
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Last edited by EoR; 02-24-2005 at 12:32 PM.

 
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Old 02-23-2005, 05:36 PM   #3
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

When I'm real down I stay in bed alot myself. You didn't mention if you were on antidepressants. Are you? It does help. Make an appt to see your doc. Meanwhile, be good to yourself. The more you beat yourself up the worst it is for all involved. Remind yourself that you are working with the tools you are given. See your doc, you'll make it.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 05:57 PM   #4
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Thank you Momsbrandi and Eor - good to know there are others out there who understand.
Kids are 2,5 and 8 . 5 yr old complete madman.
Husband lives in dark ages and thinks women should do all the work. (He does work all day though and I can understand how he would be annoyed to come home to a mess - again!)
Thanks.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 05:58 PM   #5
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

PS Is there an easy way to find where you have posted as I keep getting lost!

 
Old 02-23-2005, 07:02 PM   #6
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GILLIBABES
Thank you Momsbrandi and Eor - good to know there are others out there who understand.
Kids are 2,5 and 8 . 5 yr old complete madman.
Husband lives in dark ages and thinks women should do all the work. (He does work all day though and I can understand how he would be annoyed to come home to a mess - again!)
Thanks.
Having worked before having kids, worked after having kids, and not worked after having kids, I can confidently say that:

A bad day at work is still better than a good day at home.

I'm just not cut out to be a full-time stay at home mother. I know women who love to do it, but I'm not one of them. I thought I would be before I had kids, but quickly realized after having them that I was mistaken.

(I love my kids, don't get me wrong.)

Anyway, in the past I would have these days where I was so incredibly tired that I could hardly muster up any energy to deal with the kids and I would lay on the couch and let them watch videos. I would beat myself up and think I was a bad mother because I wasn't doing all the "good mother" things I should be doing. I was pretty depressed.

I now think I was suffering from a combination of things:
* sleep deprivation
* thyroid imbalance (hypo-thyroid)
* allergies
* negative thinking
* societal pressure

All of these things contribute to each other and cause a downward spiral. I'm doing much better now. It helps that my kids are in school and I've arranged for help from my husband and babysitters, so we share the "wealth" so to speak.

You might try the Emotional Freedom Technique described on Dr. Joseph Mercola's website. (He has a whole section with pictures on how to do it.) It involves tapping on various acupuncture points and reciting affirmations. Sounds like you need to affirm that you're a good mother. Your kids need you... they really do. Whenever you have those bad thoughts, say something like, "Even though I think I'm not a good mother, I deeply and completely accept myself" while tapping. See if that helps.

Also, have your thyroid levels checked. The regular TSH test range is really too broad... my tests always came back in the "normal" range, but when I had better tests done, they revealed I was slightly hypothyroid. I'm taking some thyroid medication and it's helped. Before my TSH score was 3.0 ("normal") but now it's 1.4.

Good luck!

--CarrieLynn

 
Old 02-23-2005, 07:20 PM   #7
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Thanks CarrieLynn I'm starting to feel a bit more normal!

 
Old 02-23-2005, 09:24 PM   #8
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GILLIBABES
Thank you Momsbrandi and Eor - good to know there are others out there who understand.
Kids are 2,5 and 8 . 5 yr old complete madman.
Husband lives in dark ages and thinks women should do all the work. (He does work all day though and I can understand how he would be annoyed to come home to a mess - again!)
Thanks.
It's too bad about your husband. I think if there's a way you can get him to lend a helping hand, whether it be to get the kids ready for bed, or help clean the house, his efforts could take a load off your shoulders. You could remind him that *you* work all day, *too*! Parenting is one of the toughest jobs there is. You're probably even more tired by the end of his work day than he is. It might be helpful to let him know that clothing, and bathing, and entertaining, and feeding, and running after and disciplining, and all the other wonderful things that go along with being a parent, is HARD WORK, and it's taking a toll on you and your health.

I'll say it again, you're not a crap mother. You're a tired, overwhelmed and overworked mother that could use a break every now and then! I'm guessing that 5 year old of your is more than a handful, alone, and you should be proud of yourself that you *do* get out of bed. There are plenty who don't. Maybe you could have your husband watch the kids over a weekend while you take a little vacation and get some well deserved rest? Or perhaps your husband could get up with the kids on his days off and let you sleep in a bit. If sleep dep isn't a problem, you may want to see a doctor and let him know that you're tired all the time. Ask for blood tests. Do you think you may actually be depressed, or just worn out? It's hard to tell, because being tired pretty much has all the symptoms of being depressed. Or, as Carielynn mentioned, you may have problems with your thyroid.

In any case, you're a good Mom. You care about your children and you do your best. Without your husband's help, you're doing the work of two parents to raise 3 kids! You have every right to feel tired, and to relax, as tired people do. So what if you need to just sit back, close your eyes and let them do their thing for awhile--you have to care for yourself, first, before you can give more to them.

Hope today is easier for you.

When you're feeling as if you're wanting to just stay in bed all day, remeber--you didn't.

*Hugs*

<->EoR<->
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Last edited by EoR; 02-24-2005 at 12:06 PM.

 
Old 02-24-2005, 11:58 AM   #9
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EoR
It's too bad about your husband. I think if there's a way you can get him to lend a helping hand, whether it be to get the kids ready for bed, or help clean the house, his efforts could take a load off your shoulders. You could remind him that *you* work all day, *too*! Parenting is one of the toughest jobs there is. You're probably even more tired by the end of his work day than he is.
[...]
<->EoR<->
I just want to add to this... in case he gives you "lip" about how hard he works, how tired he is, and how easy you've got it. (Many men still believe that women sit around all day and eat bonbons and can't relate to the pressure they go through at work.) Just tell him if he thinks it's so easy watching the kids, then he should have no problem watching them for a weekend while you take a break. If he says he's too tired, tell him you're tired too, and that he can experience what it's like to watch the kids while he's tired so he can understand what you're going through.

Frankly, it's as much our fault as the men if we don't give them the opportunity to see how hard it is. My husband watches the kids as much as I do, so he definitely gets it. We end up doing a lot of negotiating about whose turn it is to take a break from the kids, but it's rational discussion, not emotional.

--CarrieLynn, who has the tendency to get worked up about men who don't understand...

 
Old 02-24-2005, 12:47 PM   #10
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

hey i dont know if im the only guy here who has left a message but here goes

my dad sounds a lot like ur husband, he says to me regarding my mom hey why buy a dog and bark urself!!!! ok so he says hes joking but it really gets me ****** i hate men who r like that, fair enough ur husband works all the time etc, but still no excuse, my bro was recenlty left home with the kids for a month and now he HATES it he cant stand them he wants to work again, so imo i think mothers have harder times than men, ive baby sat my lil nephews and neices alot and altho i LOVE them, ARRRRRRGH i have much admiration for u mothers out there, especially depressed ones u should all get medals!!!! so ur NOT a CRAP mother!

i also feel exhausted all the time and like someone said, was it EoR, try supplements, hey if they dont work at least uve tried, exercise makes me feel much better, even if its walking around the house, if i lie in bed i feel sooo much worse. also if u want to find ur posts i think u can use the search button at the top or click on ur name and select see threads started by user i think. (ive never used either before so dont know if they work)

like carrielynn said, make him watch them for a weekend or something u deserve a break!!! then he'll realise how tough being a mother is. i know after a day of babysitting i feel like ive been to war and back!!! work is much easier!!! i couldnt do it 24-7 like u guys. one of my nephews is 5 and he is a major pain, cute, but a pain, wants to watch videos all the time, eat everything, runs around drawing on the walls, i think they should have called him Damien

anyway, good luck and hang in there youre doing great

Brett

 
Old 02-25-2005, 07:24 PM   #11
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

Hey at last an understanding man!!
Thanks for your reply, just bought treadmill so going to give exercise thing a try - wish me luck!

Last edited by GILLIBABES; 03-31-2005 at 01:18 PM.

 
Old 02-26-2005, 01:39 PM   #12
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

hey Gillibabes id love to move to N ireland altho spains nice too, so come out here heh heh. id love to be able to afford a massive gym! id never leave it i love working out, sado or what hah hah. good luck with the exercise bang on some good music and run for ur life

 
Old 03-04-2005, 01:49 PM   #13
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Smile Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

I am new to this board so it is great to meet people that have the same type problems...I am taking wellbutrin and now lexapro while I am being weaned off effexor...not only does my doc hope to help me get out but also to help my weight...It is awful when bed is so comforting instead of sometimes facing what's out side...

 
Old 03-04-2005, 07:00 PM   #14
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halpo HB User
Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

hi gillibabes.well you,re def not alone!
i can empathise with you
am at university but havn't gone there in 2 wks.

have just stayed at home with my family and literally all i've done is slept-i've only gotten out of bed because my mother makes me.

so i know how that tired exhausted feeling can drag you down,you can't take pleasure from anything coz you feel so exhausted

anyway what i found helped before(stopped taking them lately coz i'm a broke student and could just about afford food!) was SPIRULINA food supplement,
depression makes you tired but you might be run down aswell(especially coz depressed people,often don't look after themselves that well,i know i don't when i'm depressed!and you probably spend more time looking after your kids than yourself!).......
it's been medically proven depressed people need more of certain vitamins than non-depressed people.spirulina is a superfood and is packed with vitamins and minerals.
i found when i was on it i felt really good physically so depression lessened.also had way more energy
also i have SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER,maybe that is problem? i didn't know i had it for ages.symptoms of it are tiredness ,hard to wake up and get going in mornings,over-sleeping,depression,more energy in summer.
its caused by not getting enough natural light(very common in countries far from equator not northen europe coz we get hardly any sun in winter ) so your body produces too much of hibernation inducing hormone(melatonin) and too little of happy hormone (serotonin)
light boxes(special boxes that give out light of intensity like daylight,you can use them even while reading or watching tv) are best treatment.i'm saving up for one at moment.you can use certain anti-depressants aswell,tho only some work and in long run light box is more effective.

none of this this may be any help tho i hope it is.good luck and thinking of you

 
Old 04-16-2005, 06:17 PM   #15
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Re: Stay In Bed All Day Help Please Anyone?

It makes me so sad to think there are so many other 'bed' people out there, especially when I know the world is not that understanding of us. But it is comforting to know I'm not alone - thank you all. PS Sirena - that Effexor is mad stuff alright!!

 
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