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Old 03-03-2005, 04:21 PM   #1
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Best Place to go for advice for mental/life

Hello. I am new to this board, and i can't believe how much everyone helps eachother. I am exited to become a regular user of this excellent site.
I am a 25 year old male, and later this week I am going to voice my problems, and hope for some advice. But for the meantime I need some other advice.
Since I have been 16, I have had depression and anxiety. I have seen many psychiatrists and therapists who have helped me out greatly. Now I am looking for someone to go to for advice. I am at the point in my life where I need to make a decision where I am going and what I want to do. I am looking for a professional to "lay" it down for me step by step for me to help me with some direction for work, school, friends and ect.
Every therapist I have seen is more interested in events from the past, and how they have affected me. I understand why I am depressed and have anxiety. I know that past events have changed my life. But now I am looking to move on. I don't want to dwell on these events forever. Afterall, I can't let them ruin the rest of my life. So basically I am in need of advice as to where to get this type of advice. I want advice on life, and someone who can tell me what is best for me so that I can move foward. If anyone has ideas as to the type of person I would go see please let me know. I am not sure if there is a special type of counselor or therapist but I need to see one. Thankyou very much for your time in reading this. I apprecaite it.
Sincerely,
Jon

 
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Old 03-03-2005, 05:10 PM   #2
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Re: Best Place to go for advice for mental/life

The reason most therapists want to go back, is because our "stories" explain why we are the way we are now. When you tell your story, you may not see the connection the way an "outsider" might.

For example,

When I was 13 my favorite uncle passed away. When I was told the news I was sitting on the sofa and I started to cry. My mother told me to go cry in my bedroom and not to come back out until I stopped crying.

That taught me that it was not safe for me -- and I was not allowed -- to express my emotions.

This is not the best example because it must seem so obvious what the lesson learned was...

Repressed emotions will make you turn inward and lead to depression. Usually people think in terms of repressed anger -- but really it's all repressed emotions, fear, happiness, sadness, anger.

I understand how you feel because that is how I felt when therapists kept telling me that. It wasn't until I found the right therapist that made it all make sense to me.

Sorry for going on so long.

Last edited by SOE; 03-03-2005 at 05:11 PM.

 
Old 03-03-2005, 05:51 PM   #3
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Re: Best Place to go for advice for mental/life

A book that I find really helpful is "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Helps you to view your life like never before. Welcome to the board, mb

 
Old 03-09-2005, 12:30 PM   #4
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Re: Best Place to go for advice for mental/life

thanks for responses...i just dont know how to find a good therapist and i cant afford to try a bunch ...i am in the DC area

 
Old 03-09-2005, 02:07 PM   #5
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brett24 HB User
Re: Best Place to go for advice for mental/life

are there any groups u could attend? i havent been to any myself unfortunatly as im in spain now! but id like to, there has to be a survivors of depression group or something where people can share ideas on what to do next and how to progress with the future rather than lingering on the past. also momsbrandi's idea of books is a good one, there are loads of books out there written by people for people like ourselves. searching amazon on the net may be a good move and read other peoples reviews to see if the book helps at all. also, as u have said urself this place is great for advice and stuff, so hopefully someone more knowldegable than me may be able to help u better

Good luck and take care

Brett

 
Old 03-09-2005, 08:08 PM   #6
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Musical_Muse HB User
Re: Best Place to go for advice for mental/life

Welcome, Jon .

I read through your post, and I do have another suggestion: a career counselor. You said:"I am looking for a professional to "lay" it down for me step by step for me to help me with some direction for work, school, friends and ect." The first thing that came to my mind is a career counselor. I am currently attending college and, trust me, there are plenty of them where I am. You did mention school. Have you considered going back to school to earn a degree? One of the first things that many people do, as they have access to these services as a college student, is talk with a knowledgeable person about what kinds of jobs would be best suited to their skills, interests, and abilities. Is this a possibility for you? Also, have you talked with any really close friends/family members about your desire to find a direction in life? They are often really good at objectively telling you what you might be good at/not so good at, as well as things that you may not have thought about doing before.

Please keep us posted on your progress, and share more of yourself with us. I promise that we won't bite .

~Colleen

 
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