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Old 03-14-2005, 10:56 AM   #1
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CoachDC45 HB User
Unhappy Dont know how anymore -- sorry so negative

I feel like I am being hit from every angle possible - I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and depressed all the time. Just dont know how to help myself anymore. I just found out yesterday that my brother was arrested on some very serious alligations - I am so scared for him and my family. Due to this it has consumed my thoughts and for several days I have been fighting the urge to do something destructive. This cant be right and I know it - just scared of myself right now. I cant handle life - just cant. I want to but scared I am unable to. What the hell is wrong with me?

 
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Old 03-14-2005, 11:25 AM   #2
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Re: Dont know how anymore -- sorry so negative

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoachDC45
I feel like I am being hit from every angle possible - I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and depressed all the time. Just dont know how to help myself anymore. I just found out yesterday that my brother was arrested on some very serious alligations - I am so scared for him and my family. Due to this it has consumed my thoughts and for several days I have been fighting the urge to do something destructive. This cant be right and I know it - just scared of myself right now. I cant handle life - just cant. I want to but scared I am unable to. What the hell is wrong with me?
Are you in a position to take a vacation? Maybe that could help... I wish I knew of something I could offer...

-EoR-
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~Even an Eeyore needs a hug.~ (Hug Me Eeyore)

 
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Old 03-14-2005, 04:12 PM   #3
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Re: Dont know how anymore -- sorry so negative

If one of my family members got arrested, I wouldn't care. If you, however, have a strong relationship with more members of your family than your brother, that would be a good place to start.

 
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Old 03-14-2005, 05:09 PM   #4
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Talking Re: Dont know how anymore -- sorry so negative

CoachDC Im curious on how long you have been suffering from depression before the feelings of anger/aggression started getting bad. Also what meds are u on? It sounds like your feelings are similar to mine. I was put in the hospital approx 2 years ago for depression anxiety. I would guess the anger started about 1 year ago but has gotten very bad for me and am not sure why. Here is some of the things I have thought: A couple of times I have been talking to a person when all of a sudden I started getting affixed at a mole on the persons face. I dont know why but after a short while I could barely even pay attention to what he said, It felt like I wanted to punch him but knew it was wrong. It took all my energy to not hit the guy and we were just having a casual conversation. My mood flips from happy to sad to VERY mad in the matter of minutes with no apparent cause. When i get mad I feel like punching windows,walls,putting my head through a window and it literally drains me to fight it off. I also have flipped out and took glass to my arms and cut myself several times on each arm. On top of all this I have had very evil thoughts that I dont want to put on this board.

I guess I dont know what to tell you other than talk to your doc and counselor. I can tell you however that I have issues like that too. I dont know if meds might be the problem so here is what I am taking(wellbutrin 300,effexor 225,busbar 20,gabitril 4) I will offer one suggestion to you that I am thinking of trying, My evil thoughts are very bad at times and I have decided when I start thinking that bad I should try to compose it into a book. Who knows maybe being not all with it at times could be profitable .

Take care of yourself, and find your safe outlet for your anger till u can fix it.

 
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