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Old 03-17-2005, 01:25 PM   #1
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Exclamation Please anyone who feels depreesed or alone, please read this it could help you!

Hi there.

This is a reply to everyone above.

Im also a depressive and most of the time feel very alone. I really do know how all of you are feeling.

I know the pain, a deep pain that seems that it will never go away. But it can go away!

But there are things to be done.

It takes work, but everything in life worth while for takes alot of work. If you want to be rich you have to work really hard.

Depression i believe comes from mostly feeling alone, and the reasons of being alone. Only you know the reason why you feel alone. So there for, you know what needs to be done to fix the reasons.

My advice to everyone above. Is to get out there! Be brave and get your self out there!

Now there’s whys to do that.

1. Join a sport club. Even if you dont like the sport that much.
Join any club of your interest. EG. If you like chess join a chess club. All of us seem to like computers here, so maybe you like gaming so maybe go to lan partys. Look on the web i think people do post lan partys. Or go to internet bars were they have gaming.

2.Go to church, even if you not religious, just to meet people. The people at churches are mostly the best and understanding people.

3.Try online personals, you never know unless you try.

4. Im sure you have some family, go out with a brother, a sister, your mom, your dad, a uncle, a aunt, anyone in your family. Theres no shame in that. If you dont have family im really sorry, but please remember they are always with you! It may at times not seem like it but they are!

5. If you got a job or at school, dont be shy to ask someone for a coffee, if they say no. Dont be discouraged ask someone else. And carry on asking until someone says yes. If you not at school go back, be brave! If you dont have a job, theres lots of places to look. You can do it!

6.Take your self out, treat your self to a movie, a dinner, a picnic, or simply a walk in the park. You all deserve it!

7. If you finding things very hard, do get help. This is a great place to start Theres no shame in getting help. Thats why im here to.

8.Try to go to social places and events. Dont be shy. And please dont drink to much or take drugs. It will make things worse!

9. If you like reading go to libraries, you never know who is there, who likes reading to.

10. If you like music go to concerts and live bands. Learn to play an instrument then try join a band or group.

11. A very good why to make yourself feel better, is to help others. Go to or join charity events. Also a place to meet people.

These are just some ways to help feel better and to meet other people. There is alot more ways.

As for the things we watch on TV. TV makes life, mostly relationships seem amazing. TV makes relationships seems so romantic and so, i promise and alot of people here at 'healthboards.com' can agree. That relationships are NOT what we see on TV!

Relationships are, which most people can agree, the hardiest most stressful thing on earth! Relationships i believe 60-70% of the time end up in more heartache and tears! Do you really need more pain from a relationship? Believe me i can back that up. Just look at the relationship heath section of "healthboards.com" its the biggest section!!! Do you really need that extra pain?

True happiness is in you and only you! Do not rely on others EG relationships to give you happiness! Its in you the trick is to find it, i know its hard but its there!

Try, i know its VERY hard, but try your best to look at the positive things and only the positive things! Write them down on paper.

You can cope, you all are doing very very well! If life hits you, hit it back! With positive thoughts or just simply a laugh.

Remember you are not alone, we all are here to help each other!

Friendly cards will turn! If they dont make them turn!
And please the best thing you can do is to get out into the world. I mentioned 11 ways to feel better and to meet people. And just think about it theres lots more ways, dont try one way try them all! Dont try only afew times try a 100 times and dont give up. I promise you, you will see a change only if you get out into the world and carry on trying.

Good luck! You, I, and all of us can and will make it!

Last edited by kdes; 03-17-2005 at 02:19 PM.

 
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Old 03-17-2005, 03:45 PM   #2
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

What a great, optimistic, postive post! I love posts like this. Thank you. You are the type of person that inspires other people. You're somebody that has the same lemons the rest of us do, but you not only choose to make lemonade--you share it with eveyone around you. Right on!

You remind me so much of my older sister. Now, she's a gal that's had some serious hardships in life. My mother (who was bipolar) beat her badly, she has a few learning disabilities, she's allergic to almost *everything,* she has asthma that lands her in the hospital almost monthly, and the meds she takes for her asthma makes her immune system so weak that she's had a myriad of life threatening infections. Yet, she manages to wear a smile through it all. She's one of the happiest people I know. I respect and admire her so much. Thank you for being one of those people.

Keep your head high and don't let anything discourage you.

-EoR-
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~Even an Eeyore needs a hug.~ (Hug Me Eeyore)

Last edited by EoR; 03-17-2005 at 05:22 PM. Reason: shpeeling

 
Old 03-17-2005, 05:00 PM   #3
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Re: Please anyone who feels depreesed or alone, please read this it could help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdes
Depression i believe comes from mostly feeling alone, and the reasons of being alone. Only you know the reason why you feel alone. So there for, you know what needs to be done to fix the reasons.
I have to disagree with this particular statement. Depression can come for many different reasons and not just because someone feels alone. That's being over simplistic. Some other reasons might be:

1. A serious and/or long illness;

2. Being victimized or abused;

3. Living with uncommunicative people; unhealthy relationships;

4. Various fears;

5. Loss (people or circumstances);

6. Guilt.

I'm sure there are other reasons as well. Depression is a very complicated thing and everyone experiences it in their own way, for a variety of reasons. Let's not try to fit it into one simple box.

Surviving depression... fighting your way through it.... takes a lot of hard work and is usually more complicated than just "putting yourself out there".

Last edited by SOE; 03-17-2005 at 05:02 PM.

 
Old 03-18-2005, 08:11 AM   #4
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Re: Please anyone who feels depreesed or alone, please read this it could help you!

I Must Agree With You On This Point. Its Very Important To Be Optimistic, But Some Peoples Genetic Makeup Does Not Allow Them To Be Depression Free. No Amount Of Forced Interaction Is Going To Cure Or Relieve The Symptoms. From A Personal Perspective, When Depression Hits Hard Leaving The House Can Be Quite Stressfull, The Thought Of Talking And Socialising Would Cause Physical Pain. I, Like Most People I Would Assume, Tend To Weather The Bad Times And Make The Most Of The Good!

 
Old 03-20-2005, 10:02 AM   #5
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Re: Please anyone who feels depreesed or alone, please read this it could help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sickofeffexor
I have to disagree with this particular statement. Depression can come for many different reasons and not just because someone feels alone. That's being over simplistic. Some other reasons might be:

1. A serious and/or long illness;

2. Being victimized or abused;

3. Living with uncommunicative people; unhealthy relationships;

4. Various fears;

5. Loss (people or circumstances);

6. Guilt.

I'm sure there are other reasons as well. Depression is a very complicated thing and everyone experiences it in their own way, for a variety of reasons. Let's not try to fit it into one simple box.

Surviving depression... fighting your way through it.... takes a lot of hard work and is usually more complicated than just "putting yourself out there".
sickofeffexor,

I totally understand what you're saying here.....and maybe it does sound awfully "simplistic" to put depression into the "just lonely" catagory. In my past...I have been a party to numbers 2-5 of your list. (I am currently "a #3"....lol), and I can tell you.....they have all led me to feel lonely. I believe, for me at least, that this lonely feeling is what makes me feel the most down. Each and everytime....I have slowly moved outside of the "real world" and found myself complacent with staying home and moping. It is VERY hard to just "get out there and do it"....however, in all reality, it IS what we need to do.

Kdes.....thank you for your list!! I'm not exactly up for it just yet...but what a great motivator it will be for me when I take that leap. You have posted some wonderful ideas and perhaps soon....I will try one or two of them. While, it apparently doesn't fill everyones need.....it filled mine.

Thanks for taking the time to post. Bless you on your journey......

mj

 
Old 03-20-2005, 01:26 PM   #6
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

sickofeffexor, i agree with you entirely.. also, what about good old-fashioned messed up brain chemistry??

and kdes, i do think your advice is good. but maybe for someone who is "on their way up" from a depression and trying to get back into life. when you are really down there, it's sometimes an unimaginable struggle to even get out of bed. plus if you have social anxiety/other anxiety disorders as well, it can be even harder to face people. it would be nice to be able to snap out of it, but it's just like a physical illness in that sense.. not exactly in your control.

also, i'm going to have to call you on your comment about people in churches "being the best". that's sort of an irrational thing to say, if you ask me. i don't mean to attack you i just find it a little unreasonable to put a random group of people above all others. i think you can find great people everywhere.

g'day.

 
Old 03-20-2005, 02:00 PM   #7
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by polly_ethylene
sickofeffexor, i agree with you entirely.. also, what about good old-fashioned messed up brain chemistry??
Absolutely

Quote:
Originally Posted by polly_ethylene
also, i'm going to have to call you on your comment about people in churches "being the best". that's sort of an irrational thing to say, if you ask me. i don't mean to attack you i just find it a little unreasonable to put a random group of people above all others. i think you can find great people everywhere.
Yes, and you can find bad people everywhere -- even in churches. I have learned the hard way, that you cannot automatically trust someone to be a good person, based on whether they go to church or not -- or what their outward appearance is.

 
Old 03-20-2005, 02:17 PM   #8
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Now everybody, please stop ragging on kdes. She (he?) seems like a nice kid with an optimistic attitude.

 
Old 03-20-2005, 02:53 PM   #9
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Kdes,
Thank you for posting this . For me, doing these things has been a lifesaver. Especially these:

5. If you got a job or at school, dont be shy to ask someone for a coffee, if they say no. Dont be discouraged ask someone else. And carry on asking until someone says yes. If you not at school go back, be brave! If you dont have a job, theres lots of places to look. You can do it!

6.Take your self out, treat your self to a movie, a dinner, a picnic, or simply a walk in the park. You all deserve it!

7. If you finding things very hard, do get help. This is a great place to start Theres no shame in getting help. Thats why im here to.

8.Try to go to social places and events. Dont be shy. And please dont drink to much or take drugs. It will make things worse!

9. If you like reading go to libraries, you never know who is there, who likes reading to.

10. If you like music go to concerts and live bands. Learn to play an instrument then try join a band or group.

11. A very good why to make yourself feel better, is to help others. Go to or join charity events. Also a place to meet people.


I am currently going back to school, majoring in a field of my own choosing , looking for work that I will enjoy, and living on my own. It has been a tremendously wonderful experience for me. Of course, it hasn't been without its challenges, as I am currently getting Unemployment Benefits and looking for a job. Still, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I have made new friends at school, and I am forging a new, stronger, more independent me which is a very good thing .

Thanks again for your list, Kdes. I know that there are many other people out there who will benefit from it, too.

~Colleen

Last edited by Musical_Muse; 03-20-2005 at 02:56 PM.

 
Old 03-20-2005, 06:29 PM   #10
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Hi again all.

I realy do agree that depression is a very complicated thing. Im sorry if i sounded as if i simplycating it. Its very true depression is extremely hard to deal. I respect and understand everyone’s opinions. I really do understand that there are alot of reasons that cause depression. And yes at times out of our control.

Yes i agree not always that the people at churches are the best, i did not really mean that they are best i ment that chances are they understanding of peoples problems and helpful, and yes sometimes not.

Im sorry if i offended anyone in my posts.

But is it not true when one feels depressed not knowing why, or how to cope, no one that understands you, you feel alone.

I really understand that when one feels totally depressed one does not feel or have the energy to do anything.

I know what it feels like im on aropax 20 for anxiety and depression ive seen doctors and therapists. Ive been depressed since i was 16. I know its hard to believe after what i have posted.

When one interacts with other people, i know its tough believe me im there, you make friends find jobs go out and after a while start to enjoy it. I found it better to keep my self busy than stay at home. I found out that the world moved on with out me and i knew i had to have a piece of it! I found when one interacts with people one finds other things in life other things that make one happy. I believe a person at most times is in control of ones own life, yes maybe not in control of what happens in your life or things that happen to you. But one is in control of how you see it and handle it.

Im so happy that the thread is helping you all.

 
Old 03-20-2005, 07:48 PM   #11
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

kdes,

While there are times when some things are not appropriate for everyone, there are times when some things are appropriate for some one. Your list is definitely for the latter.

No need to appologize or explain.....just take comfort in the fact that you may have helped some one!

I am some one ......and I thank you for your post!!

mj

 
Old 03-21-2005, 12:59 AM   #12
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Im so happy to hear that!

It makes me feel better to know that its helping!

I wish you the best!

 
Old 03-21-2005, 12:36 PM   #13
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Kdes,
You post was very positive and it did make a lot of good points. And like others have said, depression is an extremely complex illness that can have multiple contributing factors. Mine includes all of the list of outside factors like abuse, loss, illness, genetics etc plus ADD.

The biggest thing is being honest with yourself and knowing what is truly good for you and truly not. And not everyone falls into the same catagory. Some folks are 'people' oriented and need people to feel whole. But lots of folks really don't gain from company and are damaged more by trying to 'fit in' where they don't belong than trying to quietly build a life with one or two quality people.

There is a big difference between solitude and loneliness.

I started doing better when I quit going to church and quit forcing myself to socialize with folks that I had nothing in common with. I actually did better when I quit trying 'hands on' types of charities and started participating in those where I could work behind the scenes. I actually did better when I ditched some 'friends' who were doing more harm than good.

I also started doing better when I overtly and consciously started taking care of myself. That included removing myself from toxic situations, people, places and things. Mostly, acknowledging that I was a person that deserved to be happy.

Thanks again,
Essie Lou

 
Old 10-17-2010, 08:53 AM   #14
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

i just wanted to comment on the depression being from loneliness idea. i think that is definitely part of it from my own experience. but maybe the missing piece is why this loneliness exists. sometimes it isn't just about knowing how to find people to be with, but actually being able to let them in.

i feel that in the past, people have disappointed me so much that i had shut myself off from any kind of intimate relationship with the belief that i could protect myself. this has backfired and now i am so used to guarding myself that it is hard to change. it exhausting, depressing and makes me try to fill the void with unhealthy things.

i think recognizing this is the first step for me. why am i keeping myself away from people? and then, kdes, all of your suggestions are wonderful. thanks!

 
Old 10-17-2010, 10:05 AM   #15
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Re: Please anyone who feels depression or alone please read this, it might help you!

Hey kdes,

I have to say this is the best post i have ever seen. its just so positive and up beat that it just makes you feel alittle better just by reading it. Like every keeps saying and prob will continue to say is depression is complex so they make disagree with the first part. But the rest of the post still is still true, its also the hardest part for me anyway but the most rewarding at the same time.

 
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