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Old 03-20-2005, 06:29 PM   #1
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Should I report my therapist?

Those who have kept me going-you helped win this battle with HER.
Those who don't know my situation-you'll still find this odd, to say the least.

During a 1st session with a marriage therapist (our 3rd), we were asked if we were committed to save the marriage. We both said "YES!" Loud, quick, firm.
She seemed okay, talked a lot about herself, but seemed smart and open. Odd thing, she kept saying she knew a police officer that looked exactly like my husband. She said this 3 times that day. She said he should go and see him. Now, I'm sure all of us have had someone say..."you look like this person I know". Doubt we'd drive 15 miles to see if we think so. (to a police station, no less).

2nd visit, same mention about the guy.

My husband needed to see a therapist on his own and although I wasn't happy about it being our marriage therapist, I was glad he would even give it a try. One on one, she told him we were not convincing when we answered her question about saving the marriage. I was not pleased, but after he told me that, he started to tell me about a book he was reading and that he found God. We are christian and I was pleased until I realized how this came about.

The "look alike" cop went thru a terrible divorce and found god
This book puts me, the wife, my 1 year old and 4 year old not 2nd...but maybe 3rd on the list. Our faith does not follow this.
My husband hit a huge bout of depression and would do anything to feel better. He begins to only read this book.

Okay, the book is not the issue. Cop is not the issue. SHE is the issue.
We went to her to save our marriage. The 1st hour visit she began to point my husband to this man. She never talks about faith, God, religion. She tells my husband we do not sound like we really want to save our marriage.

She points him (not us) the 2nd session, by a phone call, to this man.

What in the h***ll???!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
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Old 03-20-2005, 07:00 PM   #2
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

It was COMPLETELY unprofessional of her to 1. Allow your husband to see her as his personal therapist while she is your marriage therapist. 2. To suggest he have contact with friends of hers like that. To suggest he see a policeman is even more suspicious to me.

It is a total conflict of interest when she's your marriage counselor and his personal counselor. And it's also a total conflict of interest when he starts conversing with people she knows personally. Once it's personal, there is a conflict of interest.

Not only that, it sounds like she was trying to influence his decision on religion/belief. I mean I know as a christian you'd prefer him to be of the same belief, but a therapist is NEVER supposed to sway your thinking on things like that one way or the other. That's what gets me almost more than the other issues. I can't believe she did that.

I would definitely report her. That's insane. I can't believe there are therapists out there that stupid. What a moron.

I'm sorry you experienced that. I had a therapist for my early bouts with Panic disorder and even just the first session had me half way cured. She was awesome. Guess it's just luck of the draw. Sorry you got unlucky.

Last edited by SaintAngerBH; 03-20-2005 at 07:03 PM.

 
Old 03-20-2005, 07:14 PM   #3
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintAngerBH
It was COMPLETELY unprofessional of her to 1. Allow your husband to see her as his personal therapist while she is your marriage therapist. 2. To suggest he have contact with friends of hers like that. To suggest he see a policeman is even more suspicious to me.

It is a total conflict of interest when she's your marriage counselor and his personal counselor. And it's also a total conflict of interest when he starts conversing with people she knows personally. Once it's personal, there is a conflict of interest.

Not only that, it sounds like she was trying to influence his decision on religion/belief. I mean I know as a christian you'd prefer him to be of the same belief, but a therapist is NEVER supposed to sway your thinking on things like that one way or the other. That's what gets me almost more than the other issues. I can't believe she did that.

I would definitely report her. That's insane. I can't believe there are therapists out there that stupid. What a moron.

I'm sorry you experienced that. I had a therapist for my early bouts with Panic disorder and even just the first session had me half way cured. She was awesome. Guess it's just luck of the draw. Sorry you got unlucky.
You just made me laugh out loud! I know!!! What was she thinking?!
Left out the best part...

She had no idea I knew all of this and I cleaned her clock at the next meeting!
My husband and I went in for our 3rd session (which he told me in the waiting room she had given him some info on a religious retreat) and I have never had such great therapy! It took everything for me to hold my rage, but I played it smooth and only she saw when I gave just the hint of a smile and a raise of the left eyebrow. (hubby was to my right).

She didn't give my hubby credit. He'd never put us last. After I finished the total humiliation, which took about 15 min. I stood up and told her she was a waste of our valuable time. I told my husband he could have a moment with her if he needed to, but -go to love him - he said he was right behing me and he never looked back. I made a big show of taking a stack of her cards, turning to look straight at her, an walking out the door with hubby.

By the way..cop is 20 years older than my husband!

My concern is other couples looking for help-hope-may turn to her. She could ruin so many. By the way, did i mention she was thru EAP?

 
Old 03-20-2005, 07:41 PM   #4
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

OMG... She has no business having a license. I'm speechless. Report her. Run over her. Turn her in to her cop friend. Do whatever it takes to get her out of there!

May I borrow you when I need a backbone? I applaud you for doing as you did! Good for you! I so wish I had the nerve to stand up to people that get to me. Today, we went to Sears and spent nearly $500 on a home entertainment system. We had to drive to the pick-up area to claim our merchandise. It took about 15 minutes for us to get from inside Sears (which is in the mall), to our car, and drive around. As I was going in, a man stopped me and very sternly annouced, "We're closed." I explained to him that I was just there to pick up the merchandise I had just purchased. He could only reiterate (firmly) that they were closed. And it was ONLY 5 MINUTES PAST THE HOUR!!! I was so irate. May I rent you to go in there and give him a piece of my mind?

Anyway... Sorry I let this get so far away from you. Just want you to know, I totally relate with not even knowing what people are thinking. I mean, how stupid is that? It's like going to McDonalds, ordering your food, and being told you have to come back for your food tomorrow because you pulled up to the window 3 minutes after they closed. Give me a break! (Hope my venting at least made you laugh a little more.)

Happy to see you're still around. You're loads of fun. Sorry to hear about the crazy therapist. I hope you can find a good replacement. And, I'm happy to hear your husband stood by you.

Big Hugs

-EoR-
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Old 03-20-2005, 09:23 PM   #5
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EoR
OMG... She has no business having a license. I'm speechless. Report her. Run over her. Turn her in to her cop friend. Do whatever it takes to get her out of there!

May I borrow you when I need a backbone? I applaud you for doing as you did! Good for you! I so wish I had the nerve to stand up to people that get to me. Today, we went to Sears and spent nearly $500 on a home entertainment system. We had to drive to the pick-up area to claim our merchandise. It took about 15 minutes for us to get from inside Sears (which is in the mall), to our car, and drive around. As I was going in, a man stopped me and very sternly annouced, "We're closed." I explained to him that I was just there to pick up the merchandise I had just purchased. He could only reiterate (firmly) that they were closed. And it was ONLY 5 MINUTES PAST THE HOUR!!! I was so irate. May I rent you to go in there and give him a piece of my mind?

Anyway... Sorry I let this get so far away from you. Just want you to know, I totally relate with not even knowing what people are thinking. I mean, how stupid is that? It's like going to McDonalds, ordering your food, and being told you have to come back for your food tomorrow because you pulled up to the window 3 minutes after they closed. Give me a break! (Hope my venting at least made you laugh a little more.)

Happy to see you're still around. You're loads of fun. Sorry to hear about the crazy therapist. I hope you can find a good replacement. And, I'm happy to hear your husband stood by you.

Big Hugs

-EoR-

First of all...your backbone is much stronger than mine! Second point, before I had my first panic attack, I felt like I could carry the world on my shoulders!
Since then, I have allowed myself, my family and my life keep that smile as we get "beat with a stick while stuck in a burlap bag."

I try and think about those a-hole's (like at Sears) that must me the most miserable piece of crap in the world...I think about my work and how the company almost ruined me. I try and smile big, play nice, hey...a tear helps. If that does not work...I go home, calm myself, and write a letter. I am honest..."we aren't your biggest customer, but a ten year loyal customer and a shareholder. We understand Sears makes mistakes, but we keep coming back. We are hurt that your store can not provide that same loyalty. Explain the situation then...."After deciding to spend the extra money for the Sears product-that quite frankly is more than we have-I pasify my small children as they wait even longer in our car..." Shame on them! That person is just being bitter and has no business with customers!

If you have the time for the letter....the next time you have great service...write that letter too.

Oh, and my therapist? I hate getting all dressed up now that I don't work, but let me tell you...I looked SMOK'EN! And she tried to dance around and I kept calm and said..."I hate to interupt, but it's a very simple question: How was your cop friend that just had a bad divorce- and joined a religion that did not support spouse and children-going to help save our marriage?" Oh and "is this guy a licenced therapist?" "Should I talk with him too?" "Agian... you never answered my question: why the referal?"

Her answer? "because he looked like him".

yeah...we are full of crazy here!.....

 
Old 03-21-2005, 02:01 PM   #6
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

hey EoR remind me never to get on ur bad side!!! running over her wont work heh heh, itll only end up worse. for starters itll wreck ur car. 2ndly the stains are a BIATCH to get out! and 3rdly its a waste of gas. so now thats sorted, mipigpen. good for u!!!! bet that showed her she really has no business doing what shes doing, u should def report her to the place she works or if she is private to her regulating board. good luck with it all!

Brett

Last edited by brett24; 03-21-2005 at 02:02 PM.

 
Old 03-22-2005, 01:47 AM   #7
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

Report her - no question !!

Totally unprofessional and she gets people at their most vulnerable.

I congratulate you on how you fixed her for yourself but I'm sure you'll find others less strong who are totally traumatised - if you can protect them it will be a great service.
Even if it's not taken too seriously if enuf people complain she'll eventually get noticed.

then again maybe she's starting a new type of therapy - find someone who looks like you and ask advice - might go down well in California !!

jj

 
Old 03-23-2005, 12:13 PM   #8
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

Report her. Definitely!

 
Old 03-23-2005, 05:07 PM   #9
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImagineLennon
Report her. Definitely!
Just what I was going to do! But....

Imagine, Eor, Bret24, Jjim and AngerBH (what's the Bh?)....

Ya know, I'm not one to drink and drive. In fact, if I drive more than 10 miles at night and MIGHT have a few drinks, I take a car and driver...a little more than a cab. They wait for you and go thru major background checks. my husband hates it. He says too much $...but I don't even want to take a chance of one drink and then get in a car! I have a few people I know that are state police officers...very good freinds to have. However, very bad if they are not your friends.

This church that could start really "pulling" at my husband is not something I want to mess with if a cop is going to be on my bad side.

Does anyone know if I could report her on the sly...maybe in a month or so?

I met with a new therapist today and her was FANTASTIC. He asked me about my last therapis and when i told him (I was even nicer than I should have been on this) he could not beleive it.

I do not want this to happen to others! But...I don't want to start a war.

What do you think, oh wise ones?

 
Old 03-23-2005, 09:58 PM   #10
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

~~ howdy All,
wow, what a thing to experience when you looking for the "expert". There must be a place that you can make a descret complaint, or better yet, look to see if there are any other complaints that may of been reported on her. I also wouldl fear that 'church & Cop". I do not know what area you live in. but in may area's, the church's can provoke a lot of local political pull. ~~ sounds like a poor constructed joke, "the therapist & the cop". If anyone can finish that, I would love to hear it. But I am also glad that your husband gave you the support in the right time when walking out that door. ~~ I am new to this board, but relate with PA, & will be back. I hope you are having a good week. (I am on the MS board more often, but will bop back here soon).

~~ Pease to all
Kisa

Last edited by kisa; 03-23-2005 at 09:59 PM.

 
Old 03-24-2005, 09:56 AM   #11
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

You suggested I write Sears a letter... Maybe you could do the same with her? I don't know who to... Does your therapist (ex-therapist) actually answer to anybody? Maybe you could just write a nasty letter to her.

Or you could just set her building on fire... Just kidding! I'm not really like that--I don't even think you should run her over. Hopefully, Karma will do it's work.

Or, maybe your assertiveness at the end of your last session was enough of a wake up call to her that she'll be a little more careful in her practice next time.

In the meantime, I'll see if I can come up with a good Therapist and Cop joke--haha.

Best of luck to ya, my friend,

--EoR
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Old 03-25-2005, 08:20 PM   #12
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Re: Should I report my therapist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by EoR
Or you could just set her building on fire... Just kidding! I'm not really like that--I don't even think you should run her over. Hopefully, Karma will do it's work.

--EoR
Yeah...the fire thing, with the price of gas, it is too much $$! WE ARE ALL KIDDING!

Tell ya what, it would be tough to send a letter that wouldn't be linked to me. I can't imagine this happened to many people!

But....could I keep up with the "dumb wife" act and see the cop and tell him he helped my husband and I just thought I could also learn from him. Of course, "I hate to stop by at the police station unannounced, but I was nervous and just did it before I changed my mind!" "gee, any suggestions on making my marrige better than ever?" oh, and "huh, you don't look anything like my husband, but anyway....how are you affiliated with this office? Do you take insurance?"

Too much? Should I just wait until I fix my marriage? Just would hate to see people give their trust and have it killed????

 
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