Lovely Amber wrote the following in another post. I wonder, can Amber or anyone else expand on this concept? There's a lot here, but I'm not quite getting it, and I certainly would like to--I'm blaming myself too much and have a guilty conscience but don't deserve to.
Thanks to all who answer.
"forgiving yourself is difficult. for me, i just had to realize that no one else was mad at me for the things i did. and the things that people were still mad at me about- well, someone else was doing a good job at expending energy to think about what i did- why should i do the same? if someone else is going to be angry and upset and mean over an event i did- well, they are feeling the same things at me that i was feeling at myself- a waste of energy i think! why shine two flashlights at the same wall? i'll just move on and let them do the job of being negitive. let it affect them- that's their choice.
i know this is easier said than done, especially in the begining. but this really is how i got past things that i couldn't do anything about anyway.
and if i could do something about it- i did! but usually i couldn't."
Well, from what I understand about the post was that no matter how much energy we expend on another. All together we have no control over other people or their thoughts, but we do have control over our own. This is not an easy realization, but we do have much control over our own thoughts--but never can we control anothers thoughts regardless how negative they may be. The positive aspect is that we have "ourselves."
All I can say is be gentle with yourself, as you go through difficult transitions in life. Learn to love yourself and forgive yourself. We after all, are only human.
Hey think that's a quote from my original plea on how to stop beating yourself up about things in hindsight were probably not right for yourself.
I'm still finding forgiving myself difficult, my depression is linked to a certain event, namely starting a relationship, I beat myself up about it all the time as I was fine before, I just felt it was something that I 'should' do, but then I could never have predicted how badly I would have reacted to that situation. I have been on meds for four days now and am hoping that feeling better for a while should allow me to forgive myself and address a few issues I maybe have properly.