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Old 07-03-2005, 12:51 AM   #16
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Johnster HB User
Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Angel,

YES, YES, YES!!! I know exactly what your saying and you totally understood me too!!!! You nailed it!!! The good and bad in everything and in all of us. Yes they do call that the Holy Spirit. Some say it can fill us. Some may want to call it good angel, or spirit or whatever. I have studied so many religions and find it so strange and so uplifting that with an open mind and no prejudice that most of them are so totally the same or interconnected with some very old exact characters mentioned with the same names even!!! It hurts me and floors me, how so many wars have been and continue to go on based on religious beliefs and the ignorance of one anotherís teachings causeing them to think it isnít the same. Wars in the name of God??? Guess what? Same God is allowing many religions. And which angels would be responsible for wars, good or bad??? This is not just a people thing.

Thank you so much for helping out with this post dear. You are an inspiration to me as well as others here.

God bless

JohnD

 
Old 07-03-2005, 06:19 AM   #17
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Hi John D
Hi Sweetie! I just want you to know I will be gone for awhile. Some much needed R&R. I want you to know I will be back and when I do come back that I find your beautiful spirit here as well.

Much love and many hugs,
Sam

 
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Old 07-03-2005, 11:15 AM   #18
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Sam,

R&R!!!!! Great!!! You go have a great time for sure!!!! Have fun and enjoy the Holiday O.K??? We will see you again when you get back!!!

God bless

JohnD

 
Old 07-04-2005, 08:27 AM   #19
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Dear John,
Just checking in to see how you are today... It blows my mind that you have to be in excrutiating pain with no respite... Hope my warm thoughts will give you some comfort this holiday morning...
Hugs and smiles,
Angel

 
Old 07-04-2005, 08:45 AM   #20
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Angel,

Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts. Yes I am in pains of all kinds and some very chronic. I am not allowed any painkillers eather including anesthetics from a dentist or anything because they can medically finish me with this rare disease thing. There are many ways that help me get thru each day though and today it started by being touched by an ANGEL. YOU!!!

God bless you and have a GREAT holiday!!!

JohnD

Last edited by Johnster; 07-04-2005 at 09:40 AM.

 
Old 07-04-2005, 12:10 PM   #21
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

John, dear,
Just dropped in here for a sec and see you've been posting... Don't want you to feel lonely-- so here is another dose of hugs.
It's a miracle of sorts that it's still possible, despite the pain we are experiencing, to give compassion and positive energy, and then see how it helps the others, and be renewed and recharged in turn. Thinking of you makes me feel better, and knowing it makes you feel better, too, makes me feel even better!

 
Old 07-04-2005, 12:31 PM   #22
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Angel,

You are so sweet to everyone. I am so glad to see you doing so well. I am glad if I can be help to you too. We think and act so much alike in many ways and beliefs I can see that.

Whatís in a name? Your not that lost, but have been an Angel to many here I see. Keep flying high!!!

May God Bless you my dear new friend and keep you in this state of happiness most of the time.

JohnD

 
Old 07-04-2005, 05:59 PM   #23
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Sam, Angel and JohnD,

My heart goes out to all of you. I can relate to the pain and hope I hear in your posts. I have much compassion for you and have prayed for you all. I am convinced God has compassion on all of us. May that compassion, peace and healing be yours in abundance.

JohnD - I like Tigger but Eyeore is more my style. I worked for large asphalt producer and on rain days nothing could be done - so I had an Eyeore who, when you pushed on his stomach, sang a dirge about rain and how nothing could be done. I would play him for the guys - to relieve some tension cuz when it rained ...whew

Anyways, thank you all for the hope you give to me even in the midst of your own sufferring

Cindi

o I like those green dancing things lol
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Life is simple - just not easy

 
Old 07-04-2005, 06:51 PM   #24
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Oh dear, John, I'm not doing all that well... I'm indeed a lot like you (such a comparison is a true honor for me!), and, now that I think about it, even our pattern on this board is somewhat similar. You've started by supporting people and responding to their needs, and only after a while you told your own amazing story... I'm kind of like that, too... I'd share with Sam about my state day to day, but I'm not ready to make a thread of my own yet... I'm still hoping to get over to the other side just from little bits of warmth I get in replies... It's not so little, after all!

You are truly an inspiration--I don't say it lightly. Your positive attitude puts me to shame. If left to my own devices, I'd just cry and be sad these days, staring at the wall or out of the window, trying desperately to get imbued with the peace of the leaves shivering behind the glass. *sigh* I truly feel lost; the name is true. Like to so many here, the world seems just so dark, and then something inside me just doesn't know how to be at peace these days, how to hold on to the beauty and tranquility. It just comes out of me quietly, rolling down my cheeks--I don't weep loudly; I can't afford to do this, as there are others in the house.

Oh, sorry to be such a downer all of a sudden. I wish I could give you a real hug and take all the physical pain away, and have you pacify my aching soul in return.


Last edited by lostangel; 07-04-2005 at 06:52 PM.

 
Old 07-04-2005, 10:34 PM   #25
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Angel,

Iím here for you too. My positive attitude is a gift to help you if and when I can and not to put you to shame dear. I believe strongly in God and destiny. I believe everything and everyone that touches your life here is a gift from God as well. Us communicating and meeting here is no accident. There are so many here that interact and speak as if they were what we needed at that time. This post is turning out so long. It may have never done that had you not been the first beautiful person who reached out and unselfishly touched me not even knowing if you could get hurt in the process. You even put your own bad feelings and concerns on the side for a wile to help me or even others. Never sell yourself too short because you are sooo special!!!

Now, I here you say you never posted your story. Never had ďyour turnĒ yet. As I said earlier. When itís your time or destiny it will happen like me. My turn obviously came at just the right time. When you are comfortable and all the other reasons at the perfect time, it will happen and I will be ready to help or listen or whatever to the best of my capacity. I do paint a picture now of some of your feelings, concerns and possibly some of your hurting. I am so sure it is so real and upsetting. As you say you even hide it from other people in the house. That in itself takes incredible strength. I admire that strength but it sometimes is rough to bottle it all up. I too wish I could hug you to help reassure you that all will be O.K. Angel I am here for you friend. Things are beautiful. Even everyone here. Yes there is darkness on earth at times, but try to be a light. Look for that beauty in everything. I work at it as much as possible. I am so sorry for all the times I hadnít. So many days hurting for nothing. Yes I can still be down at times. It gives me heart and soul. Reminds me I am human and not a monster. Reminds me that as well as sad or hurt I can be happy, friendly, smiley, forgiving, loving and so much more. I am blessed because I share a world with others like you until I take my last breath here. That is my life now and my destiny. Everything in its time.

God Bless and Peace to you my new friend

JohnD

 
Old 07-05-2005, 04:15 PM   #26
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

JohnD,

Thank you, thank you so much for taking time to write... What can be more uplifting than allowing oneself to be an instrument of God's will? You do it so well... I try to do it, too, and people often tell me how I'm like a light or an angel for them... But I feel like they only say that because my own pain is mostly hidden. On this board, there is no need to bottle it up. Let's face it, apart for a rare few people seeking advice how to help a depressed loved one, all of us here are tossed by the same ocean. So if you, or I, support others and appear to cope with our own problems, it's not ever entirely true, even by definition of this board, and we are all human and vulnerable.. Like Cindi told you, you don't have to be a rock for me at all times.... But it's so, so good to finally have a shoulder to cry on. I'm so very grateful we have met.

I'm leaving for a few days to be with my very, very sick friend. She is somewhat stable, but has been suffering for many years, and she's not even 30 yet. An amazing person, too, and I hope to bring her a little joy by visiting. I'll be back on Sunday. Will be thinking of you while away and sending you warm thoughts.

You are a blessing to me.
Angel.

Last edited by lostangel; 07-14-2005 at 12:23 PM.

 
Old 07-05-2005, 04:42 PM   #27
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Once again you are exactly as I said. Amazingly you put your own needs unselfishly aside for your sick friend. She too is lucky to have you. I donít know what your friendís illness is but assume itís fairly serious to be coping with it for many years. I hope she will be all right. I will say prayers for her as well and hope you have a great and safe trip!!! Yes you are an instrument and you are going to her just in time. Remember the time for everything? You have a sick friend and have met at least two more I know. Cindi and I. Why? You have something to learn and teach all of us with all this somehow. Donít be like a light. I told you, continue to BE the LIGHT. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers wile your gone too. I must say it will be a little rough with you and Sam gone. Lots more ground for me to cover here. LOL!!!

God Bless You

JohnD

 
Old 07-05-2005, 07:49 PM   #28
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

My friend has a bouquet of health conditions--and, technically, she still doesn't have a clear diagnosis. It's a long story... She has dialysis every other day, and that's the least of her problems (so this gives you an idea). She wheels a tank of oxygen with her everywhere... it's also not too bad. Then she can't eat almost anything without having a violent allergic reaction... That's kind of a problem!!! And, poor thing, she has a very strict quota of how manu milliliters she is allowed to drink daily... so she's always thirsty, and drinking is a supreme pleasure for her... She is a sweetie, a very spiritual and kind person, and she laughs at her mishaps whenever possible, but she is suffering constantly, and the doctors are still puzzled with her, as her blood work shows all kinds of weird things which they try to balance, and end up making things even worse. It's a battle 24/7, and I tell her she is due an honorary degree in medicine by now. She knows more than most of her doctors do! I pray for her all the time, hoping for a miraculous button that one day will be found and heal her... And now I will include you in these prayers because it kills me that such beautiful people have to go through suffering with no relief...

So here is a big parting hug!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( John )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))
It's big, but gentle, as I don't want to hurt my dear friend!

I'll miss you. Don't feel like you have to cover for Sam and me--boy, Sam sure has so much heart to go around, just like you... I don't want you to stop sleeping and eating... lol

Stay wonderful.
Angel.

 
Old 07-06-2005, 02:37 AM   #29
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnDiV
I have posted and given support or advice to many boards here and multiple sites. many subjects from medical advice to stop smoking and death. I never once complained or asked for help or support and always just try to help. I donít know why but I am going to try to be the subject this time. MY TURN. My story is so absurd that I think many will never believe me. I promise you all every word is true though. Here goes.

So far thatís my story in the nutshell. I am probably forgetting something but itís long enough already. I am sorry this is so long but this is my life!!!

If anything maybe some of you out there who think things canít get worse. THEY CAN! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND BE THANKFUL FOR ALL OF THEM EACH DAY!!!

Good luck, Prayers and God bless you all.
JohnD

Hey, thanks for making me cry...no tissue, but paper towel feels great!
I do believe you, but I hate it that I believe you! Not that I want to cry again, but if you remember more...spill it! Oh, and I've had some people give me the sarcasm "poor me!" Here's what to do...

Right there...take off your shoes, hand them over and tell them to get back to you in a few years.

Complain, cry, get angry, be needy, be shelfish....it is your right. More than likely, you have not even grieved the loss of your mother.

Oh, and make sure that help you give is for yourself sometimes....we need you at your best!

YOur strong. We're here.

Piggy

 
Old 07-06-2005, 10:16 AM   #30
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Re: My turn. My Losses When does it end?

Piggy,

Thank you soooo much for stopping in and giving me all the wonderful advice and input. Funny you brought up my mom. I know some people think it natural to think this about your mom but she was special. I am proud of her and she was so much like me too. I could never even think of being half the kind, unselfish and giving of herself soul as she was though. Anyway at her wake my siblings and myself had the roughest time from having to be there for the others attending. It was just like mom would have wanted us to be as her seeds though. They say many go to a wake for the living not the dead. I always go for others. Moms wake was so much like that. We needed to be there for others not them for us though. The rolls were so strangley reversed. What a rough test being strong for others for moms passing. She was so loved and needed by so many who had a rougher time then I could have ever expected. Some cried and looked helpless and said she was more of a mother to me than my own mother. Believe me it was the most draining thing I ever did counseling others while I was hurting that bad. Over 200 people attended her funeral alone. There were even people who came to pay respects, say prayers and left with nobody knowing them. Mom did so much charity work through the yearís even wile suffering from her depression and hard life. She taught me that so many had it so much rougher and the rewards here on earth by giving of yourself to them before you. My time for grieving, reflecting and even weeping always comes after the fact but still happens. I listen to every kind of music. Even classical. I am a music nut and find comfort in all styles of music at whatever time I am having in my life. Yesterday a country song came on that I never heard before. It was called I Believe by Diamond Rio. Not the classic I believe religious song. Anyway listening to the words made me extremely weepy for that time. It reminded me of mom and gave me hope that she is watching and finally knows I too am sick and broken like she was. That she is proud that I am carrying on in her place in my condition as well. I donít know when I will reach that finish line, but I will touch and help as many as possible the whole way. You make that job easy by being so kind and wonderful here.

God Bless you and thank you for your response.

JohnD

 
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