Ric9

I've posted here before but because I still haven't changed my condition I wanted to post again. Just to tell somebody how I feel. I'm 23, almost 24. I've only had one job for one month since I graudated high school at 17. I'm 5'6", overweight, acne, losing my hair, only have one friend in the army and never had a girlfriend. I think maybe I suffer from some kind of social-anxiety disorder but it may be just because I hate the way I look so much that I'm afraid to go out. The biggest problem is that I'm 23 and I look like I'm 14. But the other problems don't help matters and perhaps I'm even obsessive compulsive because I always feel like I have to start improving my life at the beginning of each month. However I haven't even been able to do that because it's tough for me to convince myself that "this is the right month." I always find some stupid excuse to not improve. 6+ years wasted! I'm so depressed I can hardly stand it. If not for my parents (who would gladly help me if I reached out for it), I don't know where I'd be. I constantly pretend I'm somebody else to give me the feeling of not being me. Even if for a little while. Television and the internet are my only friends and watching all the happy people on TV only makes me more depressed. There's no need to reply to this. I know what you'll say. Talk to your parents, have them help you, get a counselor, etc. If only life were that easy for me. I just needed to express my feelings. Thanks for reading.