How Do You Respond - Depression Message Board

Star Heart · 07-27-2005, 06:37 PM

How do you respond to off color jokes about mental health and the need for medication?

I have a supervisor who jokingly makes nasty comments about these things, and I'm really tired of hearing them. My manager is unavailable, so that leaves me three choices : Report her to the Human Resources Manager (I'm tempted!) Tell her that her jokes offend me (eeks, she decides my raise!) or three.... Ignore her and her incredibly closed mind.

Which would you choose???

Johnsternow · 07-27-2005, 09:42 PM

Hi Star Heart,

I was a manager and a vice president once too. You should be keeping notes and writing it down. Keep a journal of it. Then later if you bring it up to her or someone else they cant find another bogus reason for letting you go. YOU ARE PROTECTED FROM HARRASMENT AND DESCRIMINATION AS IF IT WERE SEXUAL HARRASMENT! THIS IS ILLEGAL! She is not too intelligent no matter what her opinions are. I would have lost my job or had to let my managers or supervisors go for doing that to an employee. I also had meetings with them regularly and reminded them of that too. Start writing it down and documenting these incidents, times, dates, witnesses if any ect… One day you will know when to bring it out if you need to. Do it the smart way friend.

Let me know how it goes.

Sincerely
John

AngelOfLight82 · 07-27-2005, 10:36 PM

Hello Star Heart. Does your manager/supervisor know that you suffer from mental illness(es)? I would definitely keep a small not***** on all the comments that are being made. I made the mistake myself 3 years ago by not writting down comments that an old employer would make about me or mental illnesses. It was a lesson learned.

I left work on FMLA due to my mother being ill. Needless to say I fell into a deep depression. I ended up taking leave on my own terms (FMLA). While on leave I filed suit against my employer with ADA (American with disability act) for making comments about me and mental illnesses as if it were some kind of joke.

But unfortunetly, I sadly lost.

I didn't have enough to back myself up. If I had the proper documents/notes/etc. in place to back up my accusations I probably would of had a case and could have gotten a settlement out of it. When I filed the suit I reported the last comment she had made about me. Making fun of my disabilities in front of my coworkers. I was mortified. She knew I had OCD and Depression. I remember the phone call I had gotten from a EEOC offical saying that It had to be more than one incident for it to be a case. I tried to explain that it was more than one incident but there was nothing to lead on. The case was closed.

So, I learned a very important lesson in more than one way. I hate to see this happen to anyone!

Hang in there, but be strong. I know it's tough. Just remember to document all comments and tell someone if you feel uncomfortable. Don't let them abuse you, please. God Bless!

flinch · 07-28-2005, 12:43 AM

Hi, I would try catching her on her own and telling her that it's a sore subject with you (no need to give any more details than that) and can she please try and stop - at least when she's at work. Thank you. etc. Make a report of the incident and record whether the rate of joke tapers off, stops etc. Ant form of discrimination in the workplace is illegal. xxx

RainSerpent · 07-28-2005, 12:58 PM

There is a saying that goes something like this: "It is better to let people think you are a moron than to open your mouth and remove all doubt". I abhor ignorance especially in educated professionals who should know better. Stupidity can kill. What really burns me up is how the myths and misperceptions of mental illness are still being perpetuated by the very same people we assume are watching our back.

How much longer are we going to allow these people to spew forth twisted assumptions and regurgitate these naive dogmas?

Look directly into this person's eyes and say: "Depression has caused more suffering in my lifetime than anything else I have ever known". It should be said compassionately, without anger but with enough force and conviction that there will be no doubt as to its meaning. Do this often enough with factual statements about your depression and your emotions associated with it and anyone will begin to understand or at least know how you feel.

I hope you can work it out.