Hi everyone !!!!!
I hope everyone is doing good and feeling better. Truly I don't know what to do, so I will start at the beginning. I was admitted in the hospital over summer break for (can't say). The first week I missed school but I got out and back to school and no one knew that I was in the hospital for (can't say) which is a good thing. About a week after I had been in school which would be 2 weeks for everyone else I got called down to the office. I showed up and there was a counselor and my grade level principal waiting for me. They talked to me for about 2 hours asking me questions about how I was doing, what I did over break, and how I was feeling. I lied to them which I know was bad but I did not want any one to find out about what happened, plus I had my parents promise to tell no one outside the family. Well half way through talking to them they had me stop and told me not to lie, go figure my parents told them everything. So, now the school told all my teachers to be careful because they labeled my as a high risk depression/suicide student but I am no longer suicidal (note: suicide is bad and hurts everyone so don't do it). I talked to my parents about breaking there promise to me and not telling me and there response was that they did not trust me any more but on the other hand now I no longer trust them. Ever since then my depression has been a lot higher and I have return to being nonsocial even with my counselors, doctors, and my family. This week on Monday the school I was at moved me to another school for special needs teens. I don't know what to do now, I don't want to hurt myself again but I feel so alone with no one to trust, betrayed, isolated, lied to, hurt, hated, rejected, and so on. So, what do I do because all this is doing is putting me back in the same problem I just came out of.
Best of luck to all and Happy Labor Day!!!
PS. Hi Samantha317!!!
Sorry things are so rough for you.
Don't be so rough on your folks.I'm sure they love you very much.You cannot imagine what you put them through.I know how I would feel if any of my kids tried suicide.It would kill me.
Try to look at it from their side.They probably needed people to talk to and felt it was in your best interest to tell certain people.
Hope this helps a little
It's so good to hear from you. It sounds like you are doing a whole lot better. I think you have a right to be angry and your parent's should have told you and I would be hurt too but try to see both sides.
Your parents love you very much! They are just trying to keep you safe and they are just trying not to make a mistake. The stakes are very high. They are thinking if they make one mistake then the consequences of them making that one mistake is losing you....permanently! They can't afford to lose you. There is only one Kiba and if they lose thier wonderful Kiba their world would never be the same. They would never forgive themselves. They had rather risk making you angry than risk losing you forever.
It's okay to be angry with them. Talk to them and keep the communication lines open. It's not simple for either one of you. If you talk to your parents and your parents talk to you then things will get better. It's not going to happen overnight or in one day. It takes time to change and everyone has to work very hard at making those changes.
You have come a very long way and you have made some huge accomplishments. Look at the positive changes you have made and give youself credit for those huge obstacles you have overcome. Just a short time ago, you couldn't even talk to your parents. Now you are talking to them. Keep on talking to them. If they make you angry, talk to them about it. Don't keep it inside, that will just make the depression worse. Tell them how you feel and try to listen to them. It's not easy but don't go backwards try to keep moving forward. Don't blame yourself if you make a mistake and try not to blame your parents if they make a mistake.
I hope this has helped you, Kiba. I have missed talking to you. Let me know what you think and if this has helped you at all. I will be glad to try and help you sweetie. I hope to talk to you soon.
Kiba, you sound like a really smart girl. I'm so glad you have been getting better and can see things so clearly. I'm sure your parents were scared to death and feel like it is their fault. They don't know what to do or how to help you. They are afraid each time you leave the house, I bet. They are doing the only thing they know to do. Sometimes it doesn't work, but then again, for a parent to keep their mouth shut and not ask for help, doesn't work either. I went through a time of knowing that my son was doing things he shouldn't, but he wouldn't open up and talk to me. I had to tell my boyfriend. I had to get help from someone. I had to ask for prayer in church. I prayed a lot. I wanted him to get rid of his "bad" friends, but if I had said that to him, he would have gotten worse. It would have caused him to rebel. I had to take the car keys from him, knowing that he was not in any shape to drive. This made him angry, but possibly saved his life. He found the keys at a later time and started driving his friend somewhere. I had to sneak around and follow him, with my boyfriend in the car. I felt helpless. He was weaving in the road. To love my own flesh and blood so much, with all my heart, yet unable to get through to him. His friends thought they were so cool and that I was sooo out of it. One of their friends eventually took a curve too fast, on drugs, and now will never be the same mentally. They visited him in the hospital once, and they now hardly ever see him. I told my son that except for the grace of God, it could have been him. He now says that I should have stopped him. That I didn't try hard enough. He will never know how hard I tried. He won't realize that he paid no attention to me, but paid plenty to his friends. He will never know how I evesdropped, went through drawers and flushed stuff down the commode. He won't remember how he hallucinated or how real it all was to him. He won't know how scared I was that he might not come out of it. What would I do?
Being a parent is so hard nowadays. Especially to a teen. There is so much out there to lure a teen. There is so much freedom that I never had at that age.
I have to go for now.
Be safe and do your best in the new school, please. You will make it work if you try. You will gain their trust back with time.
Hi Jecca1, Samantha317, and prozack !!!
I am trying still to get over what my parents did to me and I am not trying to be hard on them. I understand that they did this for my safty so that nothing bad happens again and I see both sides of the picture. I am going to try to keep the line between us open but it is also going to take me time to trust them again. I love them to death but what they did hurt me in more than one way. I feel like there is no one in the world I can trust any more, not even myself. Truly my life haunts me to this day and all I can do is fight though it and pray.
Best of luck to all and Happy Labor Day.
I am so glad to hear from you. Sweetie, I understand why you feel that way. Hang in there and keep talking to your mom and dad. You are so special to me. Have a fun and safe Labor Day!
I hope you are feeling a little better about it all.
I think you can see now that your parents were truely unsure of what to do concerning this, they were probably having such a hard time dealing with all that has happened that they really didn't know what was for the best. After all there is no set plan for dealing with such things, I don't think any parent ever pictured that they would be in such a situation let alone what to do.
Please forgive them, I am sure that in their hearts all they want is for you to feel better again.
I am also sure that this is not the first time that the school has had anything like this occur. They should be perfectly understanding towards you and anything that has been said or will be said should remain confidential.
You have come a long way. You have been thru a lot but never forget that there is also so much ahead in life for you. I too did something 'that we don't talk about' as a teenager, since that time life has given me so much, I have experienced incredible things I could never have imagined, I am thankful to be alive each and everyday.
I hope you can get there too, you just have to hang on, who knows what life has in store for you.
all the best