It's definitly sad to lose someone. Your lucky you had a grandfather I never had one. I'm sure he left some great memories behind. I hope so anyway.
Your post is very brief. You know you can talk to us about everything, we are here for you.
I don't know how old you are but life has its ups and down and depending on the way you make it hopefully it'll have more ups. I am 33, I drank since I was 20 and I drank my share and probably could have been classified as an alcoholic...after I had children it took four years and I completley stopped. I got tired of being tired, it through my chemical balance off. I tried a new approach and took healthy vitamins and started a gym and lost a few pounds even!!
I am also afraid of death and if you do a search on this site you will find your not alone on that one. I have learned to cope with it and get my mind off of it when I think about it.
Why did you overdose? IF there is another place after this one WHY would you want to commit suicide which is said to be a sin and go to hell? Don't you think that would be worse? Life can get better if you want it to. You have to find it though because it doesn't come to you and drinking and drugs only masks it and it makes you worse.....you may think your numbing it but it makes you sick. Have you ever thought about church? I'm not talking about a crazy pulling out the snakes church but a really nice calm church for seekers? I know I sound like a holy roller but I am far from but once I started to go to church and focused on positive things my life started to get better and the inside of me felt better. I didn't have alot of anger built up. IF your not ready for church, just read the bible. Start with Psalms. You can keep a journal which I highly recommend to jot down your thoughts you'd be surprised how that will help. What about deep dark poetry. I did that as a teen and with that has made me a better song writer. Please keep posting.......
I'm so sorry you lost your Granddad. I also lost mine and we had a special bond. Please don't do drugs, drink, or overdose. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to do that. You have a lot to live for. Life can be really beautiful if you're looking for beauty. It can be in nature, people or any other interest you have. You can also be a big help to other people.
Drinking or overdosing doesn't get rid of the pain. It is still there when you come out of it. You need help to get through the pain and get on with your life. Church is a great place to go. Find a church that really cares about you. Also, you could find a counselor, either in school if you're school age, or in church, or in your area somewhere. You need to talk with someone about your feelings.
Please do keep a journal daily. It helps to write down your thoughts and feelings. One day, maybe you'll read back over it and say to yourself "I've come through that and feel so much better now."
Please keep us posted here.
You will find a lot of caring people on this board. I'd like to say a big "Welcome".
thankyou i am only 23 but ive seen doctors but they wont give me medication because i took about 4 overdoses but im not like that anymore i just feel really low i still live with my parents i scared of getting my own place i have not commitmant at all i stay awake alot of the time i have done alot of bad things in the past im not proud of that i still drink only at night but i really like to thank you for listerning to me