Hey there Marie Bray,
I'm so sorry you lost your Granddad. I also lost mine and we had a special bond. Please don't do drugs, drink, or overdose. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to do that. You have a lot to live for. Life can be really beautiful if you're looking for beauty. It can be in nature, people or any other interest you have. You can also be a big help to other people.
Drinking or overdosing doesn't get rid of the pain. It is still there when you come out of it. You need help to get through the pain and get on with your life. Church is a great place to go. Find a church that really cares about you. Also, you could find a counselor, either in school if you're school age, or in church, or in your area somewhere. You need to talk with someone about your feelings.
Please do keep a journal daily. It helps to write down your thoughts and feelings. One day, maybe you'll read back over it and say to yourself "I've come through that and feel so much better now."
Please keep us posted here.
You will find a lot of caring people on this board. I'd like to say a big "Welcome".
I also hope you are having a better day now.
Many hugs are coming your way!!