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Old 09-22-2005, 09:19 AM   #1
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boiler454 HB User
Random bad thoughts

I know I am worrying and having anxiety, but I also get down and these random bad thoughts is what I call it. It gets intense sometimes and makes me feel like I could do something to myself. I then get shook up and scared. How do I learn to cope with these feelings? I have told the DR. and the psyhc. Why would I get down. I don't undersatnd what this is. I guess some kind of depression. What do I do about these thoughts that make me feel like I might do something. How do I get over this. I try to get mad and say get away, but I am afraid and worried about how it leaves me alone, then comes back. I just took psych test. He said it was mild depression, but when these thoughts come on they are intense. Not all the time, but they are intense.

Last edited by boiler454; 09-22-2005 at 09:43 AM.

 
Old 09-22-2005, 09:47 AM   #2
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Re: Random bad thoughts

Hi Boiler,

You told me the other day your waiting on tests results from your doctor. When will you here about that again? I canít remember.

Thanks
John

 
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Old 09-22-2005, 10:00 AM   #3
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Re: Random bad thoughts

I too experience the sudden bad thoughts that you describe. A big thing my counselor is working with me to accomplish is to write down exactly what happened during the time that it begins. That way maybe you can both figure out exactly what is causing it. It may be small triggers that you don't even notice.

I'm here to talk to if you need/want to.

X hugs X -angel

 
Old 09-22-2005, 10:23 AM   #4
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Re: Random bad thoughts

I dunno if this is helpful at all, but one of the things I learned while learning about abused kids, is that tiny triggers can bring back the REACTION to an old trauma. So if there's anything in your past that you had a bad reaction to, and you aren't totally aware of it, you can still be reacting to it when you see something that reminds your subconcious of it.

That's why writing down exactly what's going on can help you pinpoint it. An example I read about was a kid who had been beaten (or whatever) by a man with a beard. All his foster parents knew was that every once in a while he would just go nuts when out in public, start panicing, acting up, etc. Finally they figured out it was when he saw people with beards. HE didn't realize it. It was a subconcious reaction. Tracking down the trigger is the hardest part.

 
Old 09-22-2005, 10:27 AM   #5
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Re: Random bad thoughts

Oh and to elaborate, it doesn't have to be something that hurt you particularly, it could be a situation or place or time or lots of things. Maybe you found out a friend betrayed your confidence, and you found out at dinnertime in the bedroom, so now anytime you go into the bedroom at dinnertime you get upset. That kinda thing. So it may take some real brainstorming to come up with what makes the different episodes similar.

 
Old 09-22-2005, 12:54 PM   #6
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Re: Random bad thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by MildDepJeff
Oh and to elaborate, it doesn't have to be something that hurt you particularly, it could be a situation or place or time or lots of things. Maybe you found out a friend betrayed your confidence, and you found out at dinnertime in the bedroom, so now anytime you go into the bedroom at dinnertime you get upset. That kinda thing. So it may take some real brainstorming to come up with what makes the different episodes similar.
I felt pretty good a while ago but now I am down. I just wonder what to do and try to pull out of this. I guess it is a true depression. I don't know. I haven't read any self help books, and I haven't been to the psychologist but 2 times. I guess I am looking for the quick fix to end this feeling. I wonder when I go back to work Monday if this will help. I have been laid-off since May. I really worry about myself. Is the low feeling part of it. Does taking magnesium really help. I feel like it is winning today. How do I fight back!!!!!! What are the coping mechanisms. Sometimes I feel fine, then other times I feel like crying.

Last edited by boiler454; 09-22-2005 at 12:56 PM.

 
Old 09-22-2005, 02:08 PM   #7
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Re: Random bad thoughts

First, make sure you take care of yourself. Take some good vitamins and eat right. Reward yourself for each and every little victory you achieve.

The only time I've had an experience like that when I had no control over thoughts that came into my mind, including ideas to hurt myself, was when I was under attack by Satan. What I mean is, it was a spiritual attack. (I called it sub spiritual). I don't know how many people experience such as this, but I know it was real. I had to fight it with all I had. I would get short of breath out of the blue (for no reason). Some people might say it was an anxiety attack. I know it was more.

I had to do a lot of praying, fasting, and reading the bible. That was the answer for me. It lasted a while, but he soon grew tired of not making any progress with me - so he left me alone. It took a full week and a lot of effort, then other smaller episodes that were demonic but not satanic. This may not make sense to you, on the other hand, it may be exactly what you need to hear.

The bible talks about demon possession and casting out demons back in biblical days. I know that the same things still happen today, they are just tabu to talk about them. It would take a highly spiritual person to understand, and/or be able to relate to it. You won't find a therapist or counselor from the medical field for this. Best of luck.

 
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