Re: Tired of not fitting in
It is kind of hard to know what you have said and done to offend other people when you don't really know what it was yourself.
Honest, logical advice sounds good to me but I think that a lot of people say they want honesty and then when someone is honest about something, they find it wasn't what they wanted to hear and all of a sudden they are offended, so did they actually want honesty or not?
I also found it hard to fit in with people, not to the extent of your problem but I certainly found I struggled - for a while I didn't understand what was the matter with me, why could I not have friends like other people? But then later on I began to realise that I just seem to look at the world a little differently and that people can find that a little offputting. Again people say they want a world full of many kinds of people but then they also seem to fear others who are different, they are not sure how to deal with it and back off. So did they really mean what they said?
I guess people just don't know what they want. So perhaps that is why so many find it so hard to fit in. The questions you have asked in your post are very good ones, if someone knows the answers to them all they'll be making a hell of a lot of money, maybe that is why all these books about how to 'make friends and influence people' sell so well.
I am sorry you are feeling so bad and that you have been disappointed by many people. Here is a good place to write it all down on the page, I hope that has released a little steam for you. Noone here will expect good water cooler conversations or chit chat about sports, sitcoms or the weather, the people here are really good people who offer any advice or words of comfort they can.
I do have one question though, if you find people to be so unwelcoming towards you why is it you want so much to have relationships with them? In my case I always found that whatever people were talking about or were interested in, I wasn't or whatever I seemed to believe, others seemed to find weird, or suprising, maybe even shocking sometimes and over time I just got tired of dealing with people who seemed to be from some other planet somehow (which for a while was practically everyone) so I decided to go and do some of the things I wanted to do regardless, on my own, without imput or advice from others. This resulted in backpacking across Austalia on my own for 2 years. Is there something you really want to do? Do you have dreams?
Over time I found that being different wasn't so bad, it served me in other ways, if people found me strange then I didn't feel upset about that any more - I was going to live my life, my way, anyway. Don't sell yourself short or water yourself down just for the sake of others, that is not really you. Over time I met people who found my differences an interesting and wonderful thing. I hope you can too.
Post whenever you need to, all the best.