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Old 10-05-2005, 05:25 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 37
susanperks HB User
Unhappy Depressed And Pregnant

Hello there, my name is susan, i am currently 10 weeks pregnant and suffering from depression. I have had this ilness on/off for the last 4 years and was treated with ad's from the citalopram group, the name escapes me i'm afraid.
I am appealing to anyone who has spent their pregnancy depressed and on meds, i am desperate to talk to these people to find out how they have coped. Depression in pregnancy is a serious issue, and one that has took me by complete suprise, i have joined this board as the ladies rom the pregnancy board did not know what to say to me.
So far i have spent most of my pregnancy in bed and alone, my once sociable life has become extinct. I wont go out i don't want to speak to anyone, i hate everybody, iv'e become paranoid, i don't want to get dressed wash or make myself look respectable in any way. I'm not eating as well as i should,i don't take any preg vitamins, i'm not interested by this pregnancy one bit, i only have to look at a baby or a heavily pregnant woman and i cringe, its like i have been replaced by an alien.
My life pre pregnancy was brilliant, i was so totally inlove with my partner, we had a great sex life,went everywhere together, and were excited about trying for a baby.............however overnight it stopped, i can barely look at him, i don't want him anywhere near me, i'm sleeping on the very edge of the bed, and the thought of kissing him or hugging him makes me feels sick. This is such a hard thing to go through, and its made harder by the fact that i have 2 girls already from a previous partner, they are 6 & 8 and i have to try so hard not to let them know how i feel, as they have been through so much already. This is my new partners first baby, and he is so upset that it is not the fairy tale he was hoping for, he is very supportive indeed, but i make him stay at a distance, i just cant face anyone close to me.
I have an app in 12 days to see the psychiatrist, and i am hoping to be put on a low dose of a/d.
Has anyone been through this that could give me some encouragement, or words of wisdom.
thank you,
Susan x x

 
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Old 10-06-2005, 09:17 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: md
Posts: 13
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Re: Depressed And Pregnant

I am 6.5 months pg and my mom died after a long illness in Aug. I have been what I call "managed depressed" since then. I don't sleep and am short tempered. I too want nothing to do w/anyone. I am not interested in getting ready for this baby. The good news for you is that most anti-depressants are allowed during pg. They have not been tested extentsively but according to my psych. when they have they only show problems when given at odds of 20xs/30xs.. the normal doses. Ambien which is a sleep med is a "B" and is often used in pg.

Also, I can't say that my pg was a pleasant suprise. I had no intent on having a 2nd child, HATED every moment of my first pg which was difficult, gleefully given away all my son's baby items/toys...and was relishing the return of my life. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE him to death and would do it over again in a second, but when I found out I was pg this time I went into a horrible depression for 2-3mo. The worst thing is that NO ONE understands why women don't automatically LOVE being preg and they all expound on how wonderful it is. My husband kept telling me this pg would be better, but it has turned out to be much worse. If you dare to complain all you here is how lucky you are that you have no probs conceiving, and how many women would be grateful to be pg and how it is the most rewarding thing in the world...Preg and child rearing are like every other change that happens in your life; as humans we have an initial ambivilence to change and for some of us it is worse than others. I can tell you that even if you didn't intend to get pg and you are upset about the coming changes is that despite what everyone else will say it is normal. I didn't even really bond with my son until he was about 8wks old but as I said before I look at him every day and no matter what he has done love just squeezes my heart. I am hoping the same thing happens once this baby comes.

I hope things get better. Meds will help if you have a chem imbalance and then I really suggest a counselor to work through the ambivalence. I have come to accept this pg more since I started seeing one.

Good Luck

 
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