I'm 36 and it's the same for me. Has been for the last 10 years. No matter what I do, how hard I try, everything always ends up back like it was. It gets better for some people every once in a while. So there's that at least. But not me, not yet.
I'm 32 and in the same boat. Tried to put my trust out there and meet people, but always left out in the cold, I never fit. Even when I run across somebody worse off than I am and could really use the companionship, I still get rejected. Your not alone, just hang in there, we all have to believe it will get better.
It's strange. I have people in my life, some of whom I really love, but I have no one who I can talk to. I have wonderful people who tirelessly work to make me smile and often succeed, but they refuse to hear about what's troubling me or take my problems seriously. The few friends who I can actually talk to are often too busy or depressed themselves to listen. It's lonesome, truly.
What you will find is that many people are in exactly the same situation as you. Just be patient and hang in there.
If you can, try to find something to do to get out and meet people. For instance, I like to lift weights, so when I moved to a new city the first thing I did was join a local gym. Within a few weeks, I'd already made several friends. I find it comforting now to go to the gym when I feel bummed - at least I can interact with a few friendly faces.
This is just an example. You can join a church, a local investment club, etc. Get creative!
That's great advice and i've tried that, but I never make any friends, just associates. I just started a job and there's tons of people there my age, but I still have no friends. At my age, I don't have much time left. Why can't I make any friends?
Sorry you are feeling so bad about this.
It used to be a lot like that for me, I didn't have friends at all, I never seemed to make any new friends thru work or hobbies and there was certainly nobody interested in me. It used to really get me down.
So after the worst that I went thru with depression, I was trying to rebuild my life and I decided I was going to do the things I wanted to do anyway, and that meant to just go and do it alone.
For instance I always wanted to travel and I hoped that someday I might find like minded people to come with me but of course I never did. So I just kept saving up my money thru work and then I just went and bought the plane ticket. I landed in Perth Airport, Western Australia thinking "Oh God, what have I done?!?" - It was the beginning of the best two years of my life. I saw so many beautiful places, experienced some incredible things, met a hell of a lot of new people, (including my partner) and learned so much.
I fell in love with life and came home after it all a very happy traveller.
Life is short, you can wait for the good times to come (and where other people are concerned they will certainly have no problems leaving you to wait) or you can go out and grab them. Don't get me wrong, it's not as easy as it sounds but when I feel like going out, I go out. It might mean that I end up sitting in the pub just chatting with the bloke behind the bar or some old drunk guy but I still reckon that is more interesting than sitting at home and watching T.V and wishing I was going out. You don't make friends and have good times sitting on the sofa, you have to just take a chance - could turn out to be a crap night, could turn out to be a great night, but if you don't try you never know.
I am 62 and have felt that way most of my life.Recently something happened that I hope is a permenent change in my life,62 years is a long time and I am tired.My wife is a nurse and we volentered to go to Gulfport Ms for two weeks.I thought I would just stay out of the way.It was immpossible.So many people needed so many things.Some just wanted to talk.I found my self getting more and more involved.Time went by and I realized I had<nt taken my meds for about four days.In a week I was looking for people to talk to,no shortage there.It,s now been about six weeks and more changes.Things are funny to me,I sometimes laugh outloud,I,m becomming interested in things.Life is getting better.I,m no fool,things can change But for now I feel good and I feel good about myself.To those of you who are younger then myself,find something and give it a try,somebody really needs you.LOVE and GOOD LUCK Vision Almost forgot,still not taking meds.
Last edited by vision; 10-11-2005 at 08:30 AM.
Reason: add to
I used to feel the same way, always on the outside looking in. I've been depressed all my life and had my first really major episode with depression when I was in my early 20's. I still struggle with depression and probably always will, due to the nature of the beast.
I am so glad you shared your experience and happy for you that you are doing much better. I'm not that much younger than you and I agree that thinking of others first helps so much more than always being concerned about myself. I'm not all that comforable with people and it would be much easier just to stay safe at home than it is to reach out to others. But it is well worth the effort as you found out. It really is better to give than receive.
Good luck to all of you There are better days ahead.