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Old 10-09-2005, 09:38 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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x2muchpain2take HB User
i cant take it anymore!

i dont know what to do with myself anymore. i just want to curl up into a ball and never see anyone ever again. there is so many things going wrong in my life right now.

im 17 and my parents dont pay for anything or help me out at all. everything i have owned since i was 14 i payed for. i got my car and everything on my own. my work has been cutting everyones hours so im not making that much money. my car insurrance was cancled, my cell phone got shut off, i never have the money for gas, and im so stressed out because my parents are telling me im not responsible enough.

school is driving me crazy. i know high school is full of rumors and i should be able to handle it. but i cant, i have bipolar disorder and i break down easily. i have about 5 papers (or reports) due every week on top of working. i feel like im falling behind in everything. if i dont keep my grades up ill be in a lot of trouble.

my mema (grandma) is battling cancer of the bone. it started as breast cancer but they got rid of it. then it came back but spread to her spine. now she is getting kemo and radiation almost everyday. she is very sick and can hardly move. im very close with her. my mema and my mom are the 2 most important people in my life. i dont know what im going to do if i lose her. i seen her today and i wanted to break down. she is so sick and helpless. i cant stop thinking about the possibility of her dieing.

i know this may not seem like much but there is alot more little things going on too. i cant handle everything at once. i feel so stressed out and depressed. i cant stop crying and i never want to talk to anyone anymore. i dont know how to handle this. someone please help me.

 
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Old 10-09-2005, 10:44 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Northwest
Posts: 134
belize HB User
Re: i cant take it anymore!

Do your best. The best you can do for Mema. You know her time is short and if it were you....leaving us in a few months...what would you need?

What would you need.... a listener, a loved one, and the feel of someone's hand.

You can do this and it will nourish you both,

I feel for you....

 
Old 10-10-2005, 07:38 AM   #3
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WendyG23 HB User
Re: i cant take it anymore!

You are going through an awful lot for your age. I remember the teen years being so full of angst, and the horrible part is when you're young you can't see to the other side - it's all tunnel vision. But then, my perceived problems weren't really so terrible, but you've got a lot going on. Please, please try to take one day at a time. Baby steps. One mountain to climb at a time. Don't think about tomorrow's worries or the next days, because it can all get too overwhelming. I think it's such a shame these boards don't allow email or PM. I think the young ones here need to be reached out with mentors or "sponsors" if you will. Some people are in crisis mode, and sometimes the only way they're willing to reach out is online. Please stay in touch here. Things WILL get better, I promise. Are you in the care of a dr.? To be honest, I didn't have a cell phone, car or job at your age & I didn't feel like I missed out on anything. But when I graduated, I bought my own car and promptly declared my independence & moved out on my own. Maybe you need to concentrate on school right now and forget about the job, car & cell. I know it's tough to give that up but maybe it needs to be done, just for a little while. Hang in there sweetie.

 
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