Default teenage love problem/question
OK here goes. I was depressed for years. This girl came into my life and my depression was gone almost over night. I am SERIOUS. I did a complete 180 in my life. Started going to school / started shaving / started eating / started getting out of bed / Job. I did everything for HER. Not for myself, I still couldn't seem to care about my own life.
Now, me and her didn't do anything together, I always had the hope that we would, but she viewed me as a loser, and I was.. or still am I guess. But I am very in love with her, obsessed would be a better way to describe it. The thing is that she doesn't care for me much. Lots of times she hurts my feelings, not on purpose but she says things that just stomp on my self morale. Even then, I cry over her and I am always there for her.
The question is, what the hell is my problem? I know I am stupid because I love her, I know that every teen goes through this, blah blah but so.. what do I do? I can not think of other girls. I ignore other girls. I don't find ANY other girl attractive. I only want her. Me and her will likely never be together, and I know this. But it doesn't seem to affect me one bit.
What should I do? Sometimes she says she wants to never talk to me, and we stop talking for a few months. During which I just go back into depression. I have no other motivation in life. I don't care if I become homeless. I don't care if I become a millionaire. If she's not with me, then I don't really mind what happens to me. Yes I have family and a few friends.. but that's not motivation. My family doesn't believe I have depression, they think I'm stupid and I just joke about it. PLEASE do not reply telling me to patch things up with them, or to seek medical help.
Will taking anti-depressants help me get over this girl and finally do things with my life? I feel like I can't get over her, I think deep down I don't WANt to get over her.
I try so hard to get over her, I think of the **** she does to me, I think about all the negatives about her. Everything. I feel extremely weak, as if I am a doll and she is playing with me. As if she just plays with me and then throws me away into the toy box at the end of the day.
Someone please just post something long and insightful. I've been reading posts on this board for a while (although I myself haven't posted in years, prob) and I've been trying to get all the advice I get from other people into my thick head. I feel like I will snap soon and just go take hallucinogens and live in a forest, away from problems (society.)
Update: I forgot to mention, the title of this is a bit misleading. My situation isn't a default teenage one. I was extremely depressed BEFORE she was in my life. She just came and took it all away.
Last edited by joebloggs2; 10-11-2005 at 04:48 PM.
Reason: I want to append something.