I have promised myself that if I can just make it through Saturday, I will go and get some help. Saturday is my daughter's 8th birthday and I cant disappoint her, I HAVE to be here for her birthday. I have said if I can just get myself past her party, through this day somehow, then I'm going to go on Sunday to the hospital and maybe get some relief.
I am suffering from very VERY deep depression. I have had this depression for a long time but it has been under control for over a year. Things in my life have been bad for the last few months so the depression has relapsed and it has a grip on me really bad. I really feel like I"m losing it. I have been abusing prescription pills on a regular basis just to get through a day. I wish I had gone for help when I first started feeling this bad, then I would be better by now.
If I can just hold on four more days, then everything will be okay I hope.
I'm SO sorry you are feeling so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally understand you wanting to be there for your daughter's birthday!!!
Could you just make an appointment with a doctor asap, like tomorrow, and just get started on some meds right away? or even just go into urgent care and not stay, just see someone right away and get an AD to start getting better right away?
I'm really really sorry!!! I hope you can get some help asap!!!
I have lost 30 lbs in two weeks from being so out of it...with my looong history of suicide attempts in the past, If I step into the local mental health clinic I'm SURE they will admit me to the crisis unit. It wouldnt take them five minutes to figure out how sick I am. I just want to be there to see my little girl open her presents and blow out the candles on her cake, then I will submit to the inevitable ...I need treatment soon.
I'm really sorry!!! I got teary reading your post ~ hang in there!!! That must be so tough! I've been in a position a few times where I felt so bad that I was desperate to do something, anything, to get better ~ that must be so hard to feel that way and have to wait! I'm really glad you want to be there for your daughter's birthday though! I feel so bad for my kids that they have a mom with depression! I hope you feel much better very soon! for your sake and your daughters! hang in there okay!!!