Originally Posted by DarkAngel28
I'm just really frustrated with my broken body. It is like the cell that holds me prisoner to it....with no escape...just chains rattling and weights strapped to my ankles that bear me down. I try to fly.....but my wings are broken and have not the strength to lift me from this dark hole.
I would want nothing more than to just fall asleep....and never awake...and it sucks knowing I can't have it my way. I've lost all faith in ever having a quality life....I don't think it will ever happen. I'm way beyond any help that can be given to me....I don't believe there is any medicine or treatment that will ever help me change....and I don't think I can ever be happy without changing...
ARRGGGHH....and I'm sooooo tired of being in pain!!!
My dear friend DarkAngel,
Itís me. You know the crazy guy here?
I truly wish I could reach out to and BE there for sooo many here but I canít.
Yet you know you always have me here too at whatever capacity I can be. You know dear, I did and still do suffer from many of the same problems as you. I too had issues with friends and sick family members to add to my physical and mental pains. I know that just saying this to you doesnít help much. Yet for me it helps a little from everyone. You are an inspiration to me!
You and so many others here. Each one has a story or a piece of something in their own life that I can identify with as some crazy piece of a crazy puzzle. You know what I mean? YOU TOO!
On days I feel so isolated I look at you and others and know I am truly not alone. This helps me a lot!!!
You want to fly???!!!
As I say to others here all the time itís like Peter Pan!!! We need to find those happy thoughts!!! THINK SWEET FRIEND!!!
Sometimes I sit down with a fresh clean piece of paper and a favorite pen. I think back of my childhood, my funny experiences in life. Happy times with friends and family. Things in life or nature. BIG things and SMALL things too. Actually I will tell you a secret. I thought of this one on my own. My head doctors freak when I tell them this. I have a fresh book like that for each of many feelings. Happy, sad, mad, hurt, and even a medical journal for pains too. When I capture a new happy memory I go write it down. When I capture a new sad one I write it down too. For me at least it helps me to sort too many of my feelings at times.
Anger is my red note book. When Iím at my wits end and run out of precious fuel. When all my strength faith and hope are almost gone. I sometimes open my favorite color happy note book and smile at what I have wrote. Memories from long ago too! I find my ďhappy thoughts!Ē For me anyway, it mends my broken wings and helps me to take flight once again!!! Eagle or Seagull!!!
Makes no difference!!!
I hope there is something here to help you sweet friend.
Hugs love and prayers dear Angel