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Old 10-13-2005, 02:02 AM   #1
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the end HB User
Scared to get help.

I not sure if this is a stupid question, but has anyone felt actually scared to reach out for help? I am finally getting to the point in my life that i see that i cant handle my depression on my own. I am not on any meds and i am not in therapy but i would like to look into these things, but i feel afraid and that i am not worthy of help.

Its almost like all my life i have been able to hide behind my depression. I always had an excuse if i didnt want to do something, try something new, or go somewhere. I guess my fear is that if i get better i wont have any excuses anymore and i will have to live life(i have isolated myself all my life). I want some relief from these feelings that i have but i dont know how i will react to meds or councelling. Being sad and depressed is all i know and i have never felt comfortable being happy. Does this rant make any sense to anyone? Sorry i am not very good at putting my thoughts on the screen.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

the end

 
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Old 10-13-2005, 04:30 AM   #2
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debill HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

I was scared at first to get help. I don't really know why. I let it go way to long and suffered miserably.

I take meds now and I goto a therapist. Don't be afraid to reach out. Youv'e already reached out by being on this board.

Your life could change for the better. I am still scared sometimes on days when I feel really well. It's almost like I am just waiting to feel bad again. My therapist said that's normal with anxiety and depression.

You deserve to feel better and live a happier life. Please seek out some treatment, whether it be medication or just seeing someone to talk to.

deb

 
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Old 10-13-2005, 07:15 AM   #3
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E1979 HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

If you ask me it looks like you have already reached out for help in small steps by making this post to see if anyone else feels the same way. The first time I got help my mom actually tricked me (I was only like 17) She told me that my doctor wanted to see me because of a problem with my physical. I got in the room and they sat me down and had a nice talk with me. I never harbored any anger because she did this. I am very greatful for it. Now I don't think twice about heading off to my doctor when I start to feel "The Monster" as I call it, waking up again.
I would start by seeing your doctor. I had to answer like a 3 page questionaire so she could determine the extent of my depression. If you do do one of these please don't lie. Some of the questions I was embarassed to admit that I thought/felt that way but it is important that they know exactly what is going on with you so they can give you the proper advice and help.
Best of luck.
Erin

 
Old 10-13-2005, 07:20 AM   #4
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ritzylady77 HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

Hi TheEnd,

It is very scary when trying to get help for the first time, and can seem overwhelming. When you have been in a certain mindset for a long time, it is very difficult to change. But, then when you get help, be it meds and therapy, that is going to be a struggle too. Because it is always a struggle to change for the better. And it will get better, believe me...though it may not seem like it, it will. There will be days when you feel like giving up....but please don't. Remember that when you get help, you are wanting to feel better. Feeling good and happy may seem weird at first, but you will get used to it. No one is supposed to feel bad all the time, it just isn't right, and takes a toll on you and everyone else around you.
Just be sure to continue with your therapy, when you start it, even if you feel like giving up, because even if you have isolated yourself, I'm sure that you still have family and friends that do care about you and want to see you happier.

Take care,
__________________
Life should not be measured by how many breath we take, but by how many moments take our breath away

 
Old 10-13-2005, 01:48 PM   #5
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*Versailles* HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

I understand completely where you are coming from. I didn't get help until after I had already tried to end myself (don't wait till then, please). After I was hospitalized, I was required to have four visits with a psychologist and psychiatrist. At first it was really scary, but now it is simply routine. Sometimes I have bad visits ans sometimes I have good ones..but after building a good relationship, it becomes more like a ritual meeting between two good friends to discuss hardships.

and as hard as it may be to think about, you ARE most definitely worthy of help. And because you posted here, it is obvious to me that you are trying to seek help. I can be here and listen for you, but I can only do so much, I would definitely recommend reaching out and finding a good counselor that you can trust. The first few visits may be scary but eventually you will build a strong relationship that will help you for as long as you need!

Good luck and hang in there!

-Angel

 
Old 10-13-2005, 04:08 PM   #6
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Re: Scared to get help.

Oh my gosh ... YES!!! I waited years, and was in denial, before I decided to get help. I went to my doctor and cried my eyes out. I was so embarrassed. My doc, however, was great and really helpful and supportive in helping me get started.

I started meds and felt better. I started therapy ... that's not easy, but better when you bond with a therapist (it took me 2 to find one I liked). I'd definitely recommend it ... I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

It's a big hurdle to jump, but definitely worth it.

Good luck,
Reenie

 
Old 10-13-2005, 11:06 PM   #7
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the end HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

Thanks for all the replies, reading them has lifted my spirits some, and i feel like i can get the help that i so desperately need. I am such a negative person and it helps to read such positive words. Hopefully i can change my negative thinking through therapy/meds.

the end

 
Old 10-15-2005, 06:21 PM   #8
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Re: Scared to get help.

I am happy that reading here has made you feel better. Did you call anyone and make an appt. yet.

Do it for yourself. Your worth it and you CAN feel better.

deb

 
Old 10-15-2005, 07:10 PM   #9
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Kiba HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

Hi the end ,
I know just how you feel and it's not a stupid question. I have been depressed for the last 14 years now and I am only 17. Your best choice is to go see your doctor to start getting help before it gets to late. I found out the hard way on not getting help and it almost cost me my life. To this day I am still scared of reaching out and getting help but every time I know that I need to reach out and get help I remember all the people from the board, my family, and my friends that are praying for me . Right now for me I am reaching the point again also on needing to get help also again.

Let me tell you somthing, Everyone is worthy of recieving help. I can say that like you I still want some relief from these feelings that I have but I dont know how I would react to meds, therapy, and councelling will react to me neither. I have been on some good meds and some bad meds, I went threw 3 therapist before I found a good one, and luckly I found a great counceller at school. It is still hard to talk to them because I have isolated myself all my life and truly never had any friends but it is time to change. So together lets fight threw this depression.

Best Of Luck To All !!!
Your friend
Kiba

PS. Feel free to ask us any questions reguardless if you think they are stupid or not. I am praying for you !

 
Old 10-15-2005, 08:07 PM   #10
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the end HB User
Re: Scared to get help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by debill
I am happy that reading here has made you feel better. Did you call anyone and make an appt. yet.

Do it for yourself. Your worth it and you CAN feel better.

deb
Thanks debill,

I have been trying to get some free counselling since i dont have insurance and i am not employed at the moment, so it is difficult. I guess i am getting a little discouraged (which happens easily with me) because i havnt gotten a call back from them. I know i need the help though, so i am not giving up. I have fooled myself long enough thinking that i am stronger than this illness and that i can beat it by myself. I am just so sick of living the way i am, i have wasted so many years just being stuck going nowhere.



Kiba,

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, i really appreciate it. I would have never guessed you were only 17yrs old, you are truely wise beyond your years. You are absolutely right it IS time to change. I know i cant live like this anymore. Thanks again.

the end

 
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