Ok, im not sure if I'm allowed to ask this but here it goes. Today I was thinking about all the suicide letters I've written (some actually written on paper, many in my mind just waiting for the last minute) and I was struck by how short my letters always were. I realized that they focus mostly on apoligizing (sp?) and saying that no one is at fault but myself. They just seem so insufficient. Has anyone else found this to be the case? If you were to write a suicide letter what would you include? If someone you cared about commited suicide what information would you need to see in the letter?
By the way, I ask this because Im trying to understand the grieving process of the people left behind and to understand people in general. Im not planning on killing myself so don't worry.
Dear Family and Friends,
First of all, I want to apologize for taking the easy, selfish way out. Iím sorry to hurt your this way. I hope that someday you will be able to forgive me for this. Your emotions and grieving process are your own. I donít want to deny you your right to deal with this in your own way. But, I know people tend to feel guilty when someone commits suicide, regardless of all logical reassurances that they are not in any way at fault. So, I just want to say that this is my decision, for my own reasons. I take full responsibility and I hope you will eventually realize that no one is at fault for this but myself.
I cannot adequately express how much I love you. I love you all soo much!
Last edited by itsjustmeLR; 10-15-2005 at 08:45 PM.
short and sweet right?
I think if you're analyzing the letters you seem to be at least concerned about others feelings and not totally selfish. Why do you save them and re-read them.....why not utilize your creative writing skills more positively? Write poetry.
So your question as to what would I like to see in a suicide letter?
I don't want to see a suicide letter.
And I doubt if any of your loved ones do either.
I meant, what things would be most helpful twards the grieving process?
Nothing in a suicide note would ever help the grieving process.
That's all I should really say but I'd like to add that there's just absolutely nothing that you could write that could help those you care about move on. It's in the memories you make with them when you are alive that keeps them going, not in what you say when you leave. You (and I'm speaking in a general sense) may feel your life is without purpose and meaning, but they won't, and nothing will every justify what you did to yourself and them.
As a person that has suffered with depression and severe agoraphobia for the past 5-7 plus years, I can't deny that I've had my suicidal thoughts, but the only letter I ever wrote was to myself, as to why I would never, EVER do such a thing.
I guess people always want to know WHY.....right?
but this question makes me uncomfortable, because in some way I think it shouldn't be asked....not that it's taboo or anything.....I'm trying to think of something to compare it to........
It's just a question that no one should have to think about, and a sad situation that no one should have to experience.
I'm not trying to sweep it under the rug. I'm just concerned about your motivations for asking the question. You are putting a lot of thought into it. Why do you ask, and why do you have things planned in your head if you are not contemplating it?
I'm making an assumption here, but why not put as much analysis into what's bothering you and what you can do to make it better, as you're putting into thinking about this?
I have planned it in my head because in the past i truely did intend to kill myself. But, I have since come to realize that that isn't something I can do.
I guess part of why Im so curious about the greiving process is that my grandmother and my mom are working on a book about coping with the death of a family member. (my grandmother is writing it and my mom is editing it) (My mom's younger brother died in an accident when he was 18) So, as someone who has seriously contemplated suicide in my past I wonder about how the grieving process differs in casses of suicide and wether suicide leters have an impact on the grieving process.
Last edited by itsjustmeLR; 10-15-2005 at 09:57 PM.
Thanks for explaining it, it makes it a little more understandable about the book and all......
I'm glad you've realized that suicide is not the answer. I'm sorry about your moms brother. I'm sure writing and editing the book is a form of therapy for your mom and grandmother. I'm so glad you're not thinking about doing it anymore.....your mom and grandmother have hurt enough from losing young loved ones.
I really don't know how to answer your question. I'm guessing it could go either way, it may help with closure, or it may hurt more.....I'm not really sure and I hope I never have to find out.
I guess having -something- at all after such an incident may provide some sort of comfort for a time, but I think it can also hinder grieving and moving on. For instance: "I never meant to hurt you",
"but you did."
Hence why I don't think there's anything that can be said to help a person actually move on. It may help to accept it for a time, but the resentment and sadness will set in no matter what was said.