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Old 10-16-2005, 08:56 PM   #1
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*Shell* HB User
can anyone help me!? :(

This is my first time posting here. My names Shelly, you can call me Shell. I am kind of shy about posting.. I just really need some help.

I don't know, but I think I am depressed.. I've been to scared to tell anyone, I'm way to afraid to tell my parents. I'm 15, and in high school ('the hell hole') I am miserable every day.. i missed so much school because of this.. I missed 3 days last week, and I don't think I can go tomorrow either.. I am going to fail, I know it. I don't feel like doing any work.. I just feel like doing absolutly nothing. My life is pointless. I want this to go away!! Being with my friends don't make me happy, nothing makes me happy! I don't even want to leave the house anymore, I just want to curl up in a ball, under the blankets and sleep! The other thing is I am pretty sure I have Social Anxiety!. I hate being around a lot of people, I am so shy. Everyone tells me I need to speak up.. and always telling me I'm too shy. "oh shelly's not talking as usual".. I feel like everyone is judging me..This is really killing me. I wish I could get the courage to tell my parents... I really do.. How did you guys tell someone about your depression? I'm way to scared
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Old 10-16-2005, 09:16 PM   #2
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Re: can anyone help me!? :(

oh my gosh.......... that's EXACTLY how i feel..... you sound exactly like me .sorry i just had to say that ... people bug me about shyness too all the time , and i refer to school as "the hell hole" too .... because it is, but id say your best option would be to tell you parents, once you do it's over and you can start getting help for it... i dont exactly remember how i told my mom... it was a long time ago, because at first she was like oh just stop feeling sorry for youself...blah blah.(actually she still says that)...but now im going to a therapist finally...so anyway i think you should just say it ... just talk to whatever parent you feel most comfortable with and then they can go with you to the counsellor or you can go alone... but i feel so uncomfortable going alone just because of the awkward feeling... which is kind of weird but anyway ... good luck and know youre not alone.

 
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Old 10-16-2005, 09:24 PM   #3
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Re: can anyone help me!? :(

Thanks for your help. I'll try to tell my mom tomorrow morning. I'm just really afraid.. but I need to get the courage, I know once I get this out in the open I will feel better. I just feel really awkward talking to my mom or dad about anything ... but I know I need help, I can't go on living like this any longer. Makes me feel better that I'm not alone.. but it really sucks that you have to go through this too. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
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Last edited by *Shell*; 10-16-2005 at 09:24 PM.

 
Old 10-16-2005, 10:19 PM   #4
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Talking Re: can anyone help me!? :(

You sound exactly like I did when I was a teenager. I'm 28 now and things are certainly a lot better than they use to be.

I spent the good portion of my art foundation college curled up in a ball, in bed, sleeping for most of the day. I just couldn't face the world. The people, the judgements, the comments, the pressure! Yeah..the pressure was the worst. Like being a teenager trying to form your sense of identity, be liked, be cool, do well in school so you can get a good start in life, find a nice boyfriend, please your parents and just be happy isn't hard enough without being a teenager with bipolar disorder.

DON'T make the same mistake I did and not tell anyone about it, and try to handle it all on your own. Your going to need support from as many people as possible if your going to get better. I know it's hard to tell your parents what's going on because maybe you think that they won't understand, or won't believe you, or that worse, maybe they'll look at you like a freak. You're parents love you and want to see you happy. They may find it hard to accept at first. Parents get scared too...it's unchartered territory, hey who wouldn't be a bit scared! But ultimately, if they realise that there really is a problem, I'll bet that they will do everything in their power to help you get the help you need.
When I first told my mother I wanted to see someone she did the same as Jenny, told me that I was being ridiculous. I left it for a bit and said it again. Eventually she started to take notice, realised I wasn't kidding. Realised I was REALLY asking for help. I found out later that she felt inadequate, as though she wasn't doing her job well as a mother, because I wanted to talk to someone professional about my problems, a counsellor. She didn't want to admit that I had a problem because in some way it would have been like admitting she had a problem. Sometimes it's just easier to stick your head in the sand and hope it goes away! :-)
The best first step you can take is to go and talk to a professional about it. You need to find out if you really do have a problem to begin with. It could just be sever teenage anxiety, caused by a combination of things. Hey! Being a teenager isn't easy in this day and age. The sooner you find out the more quickly you can deal with it and move on with your life! I know it may not seem like it now but once you find out what's really going on it's like a weight has been lifted. A lot of my anxiety was knowing something was wrong but not being sure why and as result not knowing what to do about it.
I know it's cheesy but it's true... better the devil you know!
When I first went to see a psychiatrist I was petrified. He diagnosed me with biploar syndrome. It's a damn good thing I went because he informed me that if left it untreated it usually gets worse and it was pretty bad anyway! He told me that it starts around puberty usually.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 26. When I found out I was actually kinda relieved because it meant that there was a reason for my somewhat strange behaviour and that to a certain degree I could stop beating myself up for all the things I called myself bad for. Everything from the big stuff (work, holding down meaningful relationships) to the little stuff (plucking up the courage to speak in large groups etc...)
The really important thing for me has been to keep telling myself that it's not my fault. I'm not a bad person, I just have a few issues sometimes ;-) hehehehe..but then hey who doesn't right? It's what you do about it that matters. Don't pay attention to other peoples little snipey comments. If there was one thing that I remebered as a teenager at your age, it was that people just LOVE to pick on the shy, nice guy. I think it makes themselves feel big. I don't think it's a conscious desire to upset you it just part of human nature, it's subconcious. People like to feel better about themselves and one very quick and easy way to do that is to put others around them down. Remember, if someone has a particular negative judgement or makes a comment about you, it's THEIR problem, not yours. Since when was being shy a crime? If they have an issue with your shyness, that's their problem. You have nothing to be ashamed of. If you were going around punching people maybe I could understand, :-) but it sounds to me like your just trying to get by in life as happily as possible like everyone else, your just having a more difficult time with it! :-)
It's difficult I know, but have courage... I won't lie. If you do have a problem it may be something that you struggle with from time to time, but there are ways to manage it, cope, improve your life dramatically compared to what it would be like without the help! Wow, this really has turned into an essay! Sorry for going on a bit. I just wish I had had someone to talk to when I was going through that hard time. Someone who understood.

If it gets rough you can post me anytime.

It does get better!!!

Last edited by Gin&Juice; 10-16-2005 at 10:35 PM.

 
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