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Old 10-16-2005, 09:34 PM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Its My Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****. **** this. It's my life. I was put here on this world, I was put here on this world, in control of myself, in control of my mind, in control of my destiny. Why? Because it's me. Stop this victimization. Stop these excuses. Stop this fear. Because everything is up to me. It is my responsibility. **** this. Why they call depression a disease, some of of unbalance, you know what, I think they created it just to sell more drugs. If it was financially better for them to teach responsibility and self-respect it would not be the same from what they teach today. They create these stupid things but they don't get at the underlying root of the problem.

What is the underlying root of the problem? The underlying root is that there is something that we call the depressive state, there is something that attacks the mind, and makes it not healthy, there is this melancholy, there is this dark, black cloud like think, ti is nothing but darkness and hollow, it feeds from the darkness and hollowness of the heart, it is death, it is the devil, it is the evil that comes on to feed against virtue and love. There is only one way to fight it hat is to take ownership and to completely give onself over to God, that is to give loyalty to a higher being and a higher principle that we all have within ourselves, that we are all capable of having within ourselves.

There is the recognition that we have the power. We are the Gods of our own mind! Yes we are. If we want to truly do it, we are the Gods of our own minds. It depends on our faith in God and it depends on our love and our desire to truly take control of our god given right to our own, we are the monarchs, we have the divine right of kings, to our own land, to our own heritage, to our own birthright!! What is birthright? Birthright is the most fundamental part of life, it is understanding that one's life is one's birth and one's birth is one's life and one's birth gives one power over to control one's own mind, to control one's soul, one's happiness, one's acceptance of reality, one's everything.

The world is within one's own power. It is time to lay down false lies and narrow reasons. Depression is a psychic power and we can discuss it all we want darkly but if we confront it then nothing can ever be! Let us not rationalize things. Let us not be brainwashed. The struggle against depression is the heart of religion, it can be the heart of what it is to be religious, because it challenges us in that way.

What am I saying? I am saying to take responsibility. I am saying that one must break free, one MUST break free of the ways of the past, of the ways of looking at things in tehe past, not to allow anything to destroy oneself, not to allow anything to ruin one's own personal strength and personal self. Because it is all or nothing, it is now or never, for many things, things will always die slowly but they are unmistakably dying and never let what someone else tells you in the most fundamental basic things to overturn your determination to take control of your own birthright and destroy darkness! Destroy darkness because it can be one of the most brilliant parts of one's life, no one is truly born until they have slain the darkness and taken posession of themselves! One must destroy this thing that is created from depression, teh anatomy of the darkness, which creates insecurity, which tells one that one is full of mistakes, that tolerates destructiveness and weakness, through moralism, sick, disgusting, self-indulgence, not living up to responsibilities and not living up to what god intended.

I have tried before. I have tried before to overcome all, but many times before I have told myself I had never really tried. And before it is true that I had never really done certain things, but each time I think, I believe, that I will not succeed. But i have succeeded. I ahve succeeded at times when most of all I believed in certain princples.

1) LOVE
2) TRUTH
3) HONESTY

Each of these principles will guide everything but only if they are truly taken in.

Each person must take responsibility for their own lives. That is key. The key that has been forgotten in our society is the true meaning of responsibility. Another key is one does not have the strength and the will to succeed, one will die, and fail, and there is nothing that will save you from this. There is nothing that will save you from a poor fate, if you do not take control of your own birthright. This is what every one of us needs to understand. For this is teh most thing ever. I have in the past not realized this, due to certain aspects, but the reasons are not important, theya re not the key.

Everthing in life is accomplished by hard work. We try to come up with solutions, we try and solve our loneliness by these easy little methods. But I am being lazy. I am being lazy by coming here to try and seek strangers online. What I need to do is do the work necessary that I should be able to have a life in the real world. That is what I will do. That is what I must do. I will do that as well as recovering from this stupid depression that has dogged me for so many years.

I will do that if it is the last ****ing thing that I do, I will do that if it gets me kicked at, ridiculed, if people think I am a bum, a loser, a stupid caricature, an inferior being. Because it does not matter what they think, it matters it ****s me up when it helps the darkness, when it helps the dark depression. The whole world can spit on me, laugh at me, pity me, ignore me. **** taht. **** you. **** everything. If I die the last breath I will try to overcome my depression. If I am being tortured and feel pain, that does not matter because I have felt pain before, slowly, slowly, and I will not die, I will scream to life, I will scream that I will overcome my depression. I will overcomine this ****ing depression. I know my meaning in life. I know my mission here on this earth. TI's very simple. To ****ing overcome the ****ing darkness in my head. To ****ing overcome the irresponsibility and the emptiness in my head. To ****ing overcome the fear and the inferirority of my life and the way I think. To o****ing **** myself until I destroy myself and allow truth to take over me, or die trying to allow that.

And **** if I lose everything trying, because if I don't succeed them I will lose everything anyway, I ****ing know that. Oh, I ****ing know that. **** art. **** politics. **** literature. **** wisdom. All the mental shits, all the clevernesses, all the words that people ****ing play around with, it is disgusting, it is ****ing pathetic, all this intellectual ****, as if they are accomplishing anything!!!!!!!!!!!!! Self ownership!!!!!!!! Acquisition, holy, honor, righteous, crusading truth is self possession!

 
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