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Old 10-17-2005, 09:24 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 189
ldy06 HB User
Guilty

Hi everyone,

Has anyone ever taken a "mental health day" from work and then felt terribly guilty all day, like you were letting somebody down? I really shouldn't feel that way. I hardly ever take sick time. I'm a supervisor and some of the clerks that report to me take sick time at the drop of a hat. I have a history of depression that has been pretty much under control for awhile, but I've been under a lot of stress lately and I think I'm having a bit of a relapse. I've been feeling really down for weeks and having been sleeping well, and today when I thought about going into work I just started to cry. I decided to take the day off to clear my head a bit and I made an appointment with my psychologist. I think I will be ok, I just need her to help me refocus a bit. But here I am sitting at home feeling guilty about not really being sick. It's driving me crazy. I almost think I should have gone in to work.

I'm a bit of a lurker who's been here off & on over the last couple of years. I do read a lot but don't contribute too much because I don't have time to come on every day. I would like to try to contribute more though.

 
Old 10-17-2005, 10:16 AM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 146
prozack HB User
Re: Guilty

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canuck_Lady
Hi everyone,

Has anyone ever taken a "mental health day" from work and then felt terribly guilty all day, like you were letting somebody down? I really shouldn't feel that way. I hardly ever take sick time. I'm a supervisor and some of the clerks that report to me take sick time at the drop of a hat. I have a history of depression that has been pretty much under control for awhile, but I've been under a lot of stress lately and I think I'm having a bit of a relapse. I've been feeling really down for weeks and having been sleeping well, and today when I thought about going into work I just started to cry. I decided to take the day off to clear my head a bit and I made an appointment with my psychologist. I think I will be ok, I just need her to help me refocus a bit. But here I am sitting at home feeling guilty about not really being sick. It's driving me crazy. I almost think I should have gone in to work.
Welcome to the board,Canuck Lady
I think feeling guilty comes with the territory.I feel guilty when I really am sick.
Just think about all the time and dedication you give to your employer and one day off will not make or break them.Just remember,in their eyes,you are replacable.I'm sure if you think about that your guilt will subside quite a bit.
Have a great day off and just relax.
Mike

I'm a bit of a lurker who's been here off & on over the last couple of years. I do read a lot but don't contribute too much because I don't have time to come on every day. I would like to try to contribute more though.

 
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Old 10-18-2005, 05:32 AM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 189
ldy06 HB User
Re: Guilty

Well, I called in sick for the second day in a row. I got in the shower today determined to go into work, and I'm standing in the shower crying like a baby. So not only do I have an appointment with a psychologist on Friday, but I have one with my family doctor tomorrow. I wonder if I need to change my medications again.

I know that I will be ok eventually, but I do need to deal with this. This past year has been an incredibly stressful one at work. We had a secretary we fired who filed a grievance against us and to make a long story short the whole situation took a year to resolve itself and it was an incredibly difficult year. Even my boss has admitted that. And even though it's over I'm having a hard time feeling positive about anything at work. I find myself just waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

I think I've been in denial that I was getting depressed again because I've been doing so well for so long. And I think yesterday I realized I couldn't go back there at least not for the next day or so. And I haven't been sleeping well and when I tried to get up yesterday I was so tired I couldn't get out of bed. I think my subconsciousness was telling me something was wrong, stop denying it and take care of it.

I still feel really guilty about being here when I should be at work. I'm considering telling my boss that I'm having problems dealing with stress because I'm off for two days, and I will have to leave work twice this week in order to see the doctor and psychologist. I think I owe them some sort of explanation. But I'm not going to tell her about the depression. I still think I'm going to be ok, but I'm not going to let my health suffer anymore.

Anyway, thanks for listending. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this, because I tend to keep this sort of thing hidden from just about everyone I know. I would be interested in hearing what any of you think about telling my boss about the stress thing. I think she would be understanding. Back in February when things started to get really bad with this secretary she took me to lunch because she was worried about me because I'm the main person who had to deal with all of this and it was a very difficult and awkward situation.

Sorry for rambling on & on. It just feels good to talk about it.

 
Old 10-18-2005, 08:56 AM   #4
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
jollyjeff HB User
Re: Guilty

I have missed a lot of time from work due to depression and I feel guilty about it too, even though I'm genuinely sick. I work for the Social Services department in Baltimore and I am way overworked which helped trigger my depression. I tell myself it's not my fault that I'm sick, that I work very hard while I'm there and their refusal to hire adequete staff caused my illness. Nonetheless I do feel guilty, sometimes to the point of going to work when I really shouldn't

Jeff

 
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