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Old 10-23-2005, 01:20 AM   #1
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Location: Vancouver,Wa,USA
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smackliet HB User
gloom

I posted the fallowing on the fibro sight but after reading it i think it should be hear as well:
This should take us all back. When i am feeling depressed i always remember these old lyrics. I have a mentally handycap brother who was obsessed with heehaw..
Gloom dispair and agony on me deep daark depression accessive misery. If it werent for bad luck ide have no luck at all. Gloom despair and agony on me.

Sorry for the spelling.. I am typing in the dark in washington state.
I have been so deeply depressed for the last couple of months but right now i think i have hit bottom.
My dad is drinking him self to death and so is my father in law. My child was sexually assaulted by a registered sex effender while visiting her dad in oregon.He live next door. She had to tell the story over and over, revictomizing her every time she had to tell strangers the humiliating details. She is so brave . I have been having so much trouble coping because of my past abuse. I couldn't tell, the way she did she is so much stronger that i was. I am so protective, I made sure this would never happen but I wasn't able to keep her safe while she was gone. he has a long list of victoms but only my baby was brave enough to send him to prison. Wow did i get off topic. Sorry. The grief i am feeling just makes the fibro worse. We went to the coast labor day and i was in so much pain i just lay in the hotel all weekend. It such a circle...more pain=more depression=more pain. I am thinking of trying something for the depression to try to break the cycle.
I clench in my sleep so when i wake up in the am i cant open my hands of stand on my feet.Back on fire, I have to take my pain med and then lay there an hour. I am only 35 what will it be like in 20 years?
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Old 10-23-2005, 10:04 AM   #2
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Re: gloom

I don't fear pain or death, but abuse like you and your daughter have gone through... the very thought makes me shake, you both must be so brave.
Are either your daughtee or yourself getting help dealing with this (if I may ask how old is she?)? Can nothing be done to help your dad/father in law? If you went to a councellor he/she might recommend anti-depressants, especially if it woulc ease the effects of fibro too.
All the best, welcom to the bords, and do post if there's something you want to talk about.
xxx

 
Old 10-24-2005, 01:54 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Vancouver,Wa,USA
Posts: 251
smackliet HB User
Re: gloom

Yea my daughter is in theropy. I just started paxil. And there is nothing i can do to help my dads. The harder i try the less they want to talk to me at all.
My daughter is my primary concern, my dads made the choice to follow the path they are on. I just hurt myself more when i try to help them. My girl is 11 and she is getting stronger all the time. But sometimes she still sees him in her room standing there watching her. Night terrors.
Thanks for your reply.
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