r12las

its hard to deal with emotions like this..I used to do the wierdest things. Have been told to stop 'punishing' myself (by the sounds of your other posts things that have happened were certainly not your fault). Actions like this don't achieve anything long-term but with me it helped in the short term. I have heard of many other things to do instead but the only thing that helped a bit was to get a lockable diary and to write instead. A lot of time it was garbled nonsence or pictures or wierd stuff but I did find it useful. I haven't even read some of it since, it was like the same release but without taking it out on myself.

I hope you find the strength to let the wound heal on the outside, and get some help for the turmoil inside...you're not crazy and its not your fault..

sending you a big hug and warmest thoughts

r12las xx