Part II How to handle therapist's stupidity - Depression Message Board

axolotl · 09-14-2002, 01:29 AM

The earlier topic was 'Stupid things therapists say/do'
I will now go over boilerplate answers (as well as more specific example answers) that you can give to some of the more common idiotic questions/statements that therapists make; I have thought these up over years of being asked inane questions by my own therapists. Caution: you are likely to draw anything from peevishness

to rage

from the subject; do not let this daunt you from your journey to reform the legions of morons produced by the fine institutions of this nation.
Note: all names are fictional to protect the victim (patient) and dunce (therapist).
Case study 1) Therapist asks/makes statement about your current mood/disposition, apparently forgetting about your diagnosis: a) Therapist: "Martha, you seem down in the dumps today." Martha: "Could that be due to the fact that I suffer from clinical depression?" b) Therapist: "John, you strike me as somewhat nervous right now." John: "That is one of the many symptoms of my anxiety disorder." c)Therapist: "Fred, I notice you are shouting obscenities and hurling the office furniture out the window." Fred: "Perhaps I am experiencing a manic episode."
See how easy this is? Another common scenario is when the therapist asks you a question that not only should YOU be asking, but you are paying THEM to answer:
a) Therapist: "Mary Lou, why do you think you have depression?" M.L.: "I was hoping YOU could tell ME." Therapist: "I don't know either" M.L: "Then what the heck am I paying you for?" b) Therapist: "Jimmie Mac, what do you think is the root cause of your obsession with coke cans?" F.M.: "I was hoping YOU would know by now" Therapist: "So the therapist has all the answers?"
F.M.: "If I had the answers, I wouldn't be in therapy."
c)[Slight modification] Therapist: "Barbara Ann, can you tell me why you hate men?" B.A: "Hmmm..let's see..my first boyfriend dumped me for my best friend during my birthday party, my prom date stood me up, my former fiance told me he was gay on our wedding day, and my husband sleeps on the couch with another woman...I don't know, maybe we should call in Sherlock Holmes on this one."
I would be delighted if any among you can think up good answers, but I will also offer my services (free of course) as a consultant, that is you tell me a stupid question your therapist keeps asking and I will give an answer which you can use; I cannot guarantee that I will always be able to provide a witty comeback but will do my best.
Onward and upward!

[This message has been edited by axolotl (edited 09-14-2002).]

jen56 · 09-14-2002, 03:20 AM

My personal favorite is " Maybe you are lashing out due to resentment you have towards your sister."

But, I dont have a sister.

Therapist "oh" Ruffles through papers, "So...what would you like to talk about today?"

UGGGHHHHH

Fuzzy Bear · 09-14-2002, 03:45 AM

That's interesting. When I first started seeing my therapist, when I got angry, he said "You are angry" LOL?? Although he did encourage me to express my anger to begin with...

Later on, he got angry back! He said some very negative things, but if I called him on them in the next session, he denied them. Guess there's no answer to that! To cut a long story short, that is why we ended.

He also liked to talk about Freudian stuff to begin with (I am female) but later was into "reality testing"

He ticked me off because I didn't want to get involved with some neighbours who were wanting us to take up pyramid selling?!?

He told me that I had a brain tumour growing inside my head because I had been diagnosed with high prolactin.

Writing this does make me feel

and a bit

but perhaps I'm just being too sensitive

Stupid question: He did ask me a real classic related to Freudian stuff, but it's not suitable for family viewing

If I think of any more I'll post them later..

[This message has been edited by Fuzzy Bear (edited 09-14-2002).]

axolotl · 09-14-2002, 06:14 AM

Fuzzy,
Not only do I not think you're too sensitive, but he sounds like a crackpot and I might mention him to the insurance company if it's not too late (based on the anger episodes)
--Axo

Fuzzy Bear · 09-14-2002, 06:54 AM

Thanks, Axo,

There were times during the therapy that I really thought that either I had lost it, or he had. Towards the end, the therapy was, I felt, appalling...