Can anyone put a name to this? - Depression Message Board

Anjika · 11-22-2002, 04:58 PM

Hi,
I am new here and while I have issues on and off related with anxiety and depression, haven't taken anything other than diazepam during the years. And only during the very rough times, 2 mg. twice a day for a week or so. And then I would be okay.
However in the last few months I have noticed that I am getting easily overwhelmed when attempting to do several things at one time. Things that weren't a problem before.

For instance, trying to manage to cook a meal that requires several pots and pans going at one time and suddenly I get up tight, can't remember what to turn off when, etc...then I am starting to tremble and once I actually put the palm of my hand on the side of a hot pot without realizing what I was doing! By the time dinner was ready, I dreaded sitting still and trying to get the food down and this is happening with regularity. Also when, a few members of my family come over, just even for a few minutes, I get all distracted and everyone is talking and I am having trouble trying to follow just one conversation..it's scary, like I have to struggle to get through it and I start to feel like a balloon head and want to run out...what is all of this???

Anjika · 11-22-2002, 08:37 PM

Hi Chrys and thanks...
Well that's what makes this so odd. I am a diligent meditator, everyday twice for 20 mts and have been doing it for over 5 years(6 years soon). I started doing it after given the prescription for the diazepam
figuring it would help during the times when I wasn't using the med and it did.

But, it makes no difference now. I don't work, stay at home for several years now, married and my children are grown and on their own. It seems that also I don't like loud noises, or intensely violent movies, anything visually or auditory bothers me...I used to be able to have the t.v. on and type at the pc without a problem....no more. I absolutely cannot concentrate with the t.v. on. It's very upsetting to see this getting progressively worse instead of even stabilizing.
I have trouble even concentrating on one thing too. If I am having a phone conversation, while the other person is talking, my mind is off onto something else and I don't even realize the person stopped talking.
I just don't know what to think....

bev52 · 11-22-2002, 09:21 PM

Hi Anjika,

Well, it sounds like you are where many of us have been...and sometimes, still are. lol

I used to be able to multi-task with no problem...now, I must have one thing going at a time or I get confused and agitated and want to flee from the situation.

I have the same problem with cooking and it causes me to really dread starting dinner, since I know it's not going to go well.

I also have this problem when looking at something new-for instance, a sheet of paper with lots of information on it. I become overwhelmed and it doesn't make any sense to me. It's like I've lost the ability to focus.

When I first came here to HealthBoards, everything is pretty much self explanatory.....not for me. I was asking people how to do certain things, that were right in front of my face and I should have been able to read and understand for myself. Fortunately, everyone was kind and understanding.

It's terrible to have that confused feeling and have to ask for help, then when it's explained to me, sometimes I get it and sometimes I don't and have to ask again. When I finally 'get it'....I'm so embarrassed because it was so simple!

I talked to my doctor about all of this and I've had anxiety and depression for many many years. He added that some of it, now, may have something to do with menopause. I really didn't want to hear that.

I hope this helps in some small way.

With Kindness,
Bev

P.S.
Chrys gave you some wonderful advice and the relaxation techniques really do work. Another thing I have learned about relaxing is, when I'm in bed, (sometimes when I'm up), especially, I have my teeth clinched. I immediately let my bottom jaw drop - not where my mouth is open, but no longer clinching my teeth - just dropped and relaxed. This has really helped me.

Anjika · 11-23-2002, 08:48 AM

Hi,
Oh, these last 2 replies were so helpful..
Bev, when you mentioned the sheet of paper with all the info on it and trouble 'getting' it all, boy that really is right. I just stare at it and try and pick it apart but get distracted with the sentences above and after. So end up re-reading again and again. I use to be a legal secretary for 16 years, not so very long ago. I mean the kind who runs the office and can prepare a case from scratch.

I am post-menopausal a few years and don't think that is an issue at this point. The jaw clenching is very interesting because my jaws are generally clamped shut, in fact have had ear pain, more soreness.

Also meditation is still a priority of every day. Because I noticed when I started meditating some years ago, that if left to concentrate on my breathing, my mind would wander. This was an issue I could not overcome so I discovered a wonderful CD that is meant to guide you through a medidation by the sound of a woman's voice that stays within a 4 note range and is very soothing. I use headphones and have no problems.

Chrys you wrote:In other words, just break down the seemingly impossible task into smaller, more manageable tasks, rather than seeing it as something overwhelming.

But that is the problem, seeing all those smaller tasks is the part that overwhelms me. I would rather have a huge task requiring going from A-Z with no subsets on the way. I have decided not to cook the Thanksgiving dinner this year. My daughter will handle it at her house. That entire thing would end up being a fiasco.

Actually Chrys I was at a mall last week and I didn't care for it. It was loaded with people running everywhere, screaming kids and music, pushing, etc..I couldn't wait to get out of there. My body felt like it had been assaulted, it was stressful and frankly looking at the shoppers faces, they ALL looked like they were unhappy and frantic. I cannot see how exposing myself to more of the same would be helpful. I do go to smaller individual stores and spend time with friends out in small restaurants but no question something is different and has changed.

I want to thank the both of you so much...lots to think about and will call my doctor again. I called him last week and we spoke briefly on the phone and he asked if I wanted to try something called Celexa. It was an anti-depressant. After reading the posts for Celexa withdrawal, I think it was here or elsewhere at this website, I said 'no'....that's all I need.

Megherc · 11-23-2002, 12:57 PM

Your set of symptoms sound alot like people who have taken benzodiazepines over the years. Valium(diazepam)is a benzodiazepine. When you take it or when you stop taking it, it can cause many of these things. The memory problems, concentration problems, jaw clenching, agoraphobia, and sensitivity to sound are all on the symptom list and are quite common! Also on the list is insomnia,depersonalization/derealization, tinnitus, fatigue, exhaustion, headaches and the list goes on.

If you type in benzo withdrawal the first site *********.uk is a very good site with alot of information and the lists of symptoms which are very complete although not everyone has all of the listed symptoms. Check it out; in many cases benzos will gradually worsen pre-existing anxiety/sleep problems over time.