Hi...I'm new here and this is my first time posting on a message board about my depression. I've been depressed for several yrs (about 8) and I can't seem to be truly happy about anything. My childhood was kind of traumatic- no physical abuse but parental drug and alcohol use for many years as a child, my mother getting beat to a pulp by abusive boyfriends- just years of chaos and unrest. She is also bipolar/manic depressive and was repeatedly raped and abused as a child in fostercare. She's now unable to provide for herself bc of her condition and is homeless.
I'm 27 now and have two younger brothers- one of whom I've had full legal custody of for the last 5yrs bc of her condition- he's now 17 and doing great. Well around Christmas my mother had to move in with me bc the place she was staying at was boarded up. Since then, I have spiraled into a depressed, crying, sad mess. I was depressed before she got here, but now I am much worse. I went to see a psychologist last week and could hardly tell him what was wrong I cried so much. I held back tears today at work contemplating never going back again.
Everyone at my job notices how withdrawn I am. I don't talk to anyone and I avoid social contact as much as possible. I've been there for only 7 months and already I feel the job is ruined by my poor relationships with people. Most people would say I'm very attractive and smart so they don't understand what my problem is. I am considering filing for short term disability w/my job to try to take some time to get myself together. My depression is ruining my career! And I'm scared to death of getting on meds.
Thanks for listening to my story....
I wish everyone here peace and blessings.