tohopko

Disposition,

You sound like a younger person?? I've heard it said that love, strong attachment, infatuation is like a drug. When we no longer have access to it we go through a withdrawl. It's a natural, if unpleasant, experience that just about everyone has gone through at least once. And of course the first one is the worst.

I had a similar experience when my love divorced me. The good thing is I don't think anyone can ever hurt me quite like that again, I think they call that thicker hide syndrome.

It's pretty easy to tell he's probably never going to return your affection. So you have to move on. Easier said than done. But you are the most important person in the world right now. You're hurting, you need help and you need to get this behind you. One suggestion is to write a few goals you want to accomplish in the next few months, goals that don't include him, realistic goals. Put the paper with them away and then clear you calendar for a couple days. This time is just for yourself.

Plan on crying for as long as it takes to not be able to cry over it anymore. At that point you examine all your good points, things you like about yourself or that others like about you. Re-read your goals and then understand that you've lived the last few months/years for someone else, someone not really deserving of you, even though you were so attached to him. You were intoxicated with your feelings but now you're getting sober and seeing things more clearly and it's time to live for you.

If you ARE young, you have a lifetime to meet many people. Friends are most important after family of course but someone who isn't treating you like a friend and isn't family is not nearly as important. Learn to be able to make yourself happy because if I've learned anything in life it is that you can't change anyone and you can't make anyone happy. People can change themselves but usually never do, and happiness comes from within. Learn to be happy with yourself and how to enrich your own life without any outside help. You'll be a better, stronger, more attractive person.

Learn to walk the fine line of being independent and willing to share everything with someone, where everything you need comes from within and if you're religious, from within and from heaven, so when the right person comes along, someone who treats you like a lady, with complete respect, and is already happy with his life and likes people (two very important traits), you will be ready. Two mentally healthy people sharing equally with one another is a merger much stronger than the sum of the two seperate parts.

Bill