...........It is not okay for me to act how I feel? Would you rather have me be a player on your stage? All I want is to know you care…is that too much to ask?............
Splendid post.
Yes - sometimes it is indeed too much to ask. To actually care implies action. Movement. Actually doing something. Some just can't do it. They are attached to you..... not out of any mutually beneficial realtionship. No. Not that at all. they are attached to see how much they can drain from you essence. It's all about them. Their appetite is insatiable. No bottom. All you gotta do is give and give and give. When you are completely spent then the final act is to give some more; until you lie spent, lifeless and exhausted.
Good news is, however, that there are others out there that don't operate that way. Seek them and you will find them. They will be easy to spot. As you give, you will notice that they will, in turn, give back. Gotta turn over a lot of rocks but you can find them.
I enjoyed the prose on the blackness. A repose, metamorphasis, cathartic rejuvination. For everything there is a season........ inculding a time to be reborn.
Good luck.
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Those parents that choose to dispense "tough love" to their children now should be prepared to receive same back from them in 30 years.
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We indeed are all players. Whether we or those around us have acted well or are totally clueless the show does indeed go on. We must make the best of the script we've been given. One day you'll come up for that breath of air and not feel like you need to sink back down. I wish you all the best.
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