ardor

Hi,

By the way, Trazadone is not really a "sleeping pill". It's an anti-depressant. I took 25 to 50 mg a night for about 7 years for sleep though. It was the only non-addictive med that (occasionally) helped me get some sleep (and some side effects). Never tried Celexa, but tried all the rest of the SSRIs (Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, etc.), and the tricyclics (Pamelor, Elavil, Imipramine, etc.). They were all the same to me; nothing but side effects. The only way to know if an anti-depressant is going to work, or make you sick all the time, is to try it. That said, if I got bad side effects from one formulation, I got the same thing from the rest of the genre.

I finally stopped trying to deal with my depression with meds after about 10 years. Yes I still feel depressed most of the time, but, it's better than what I went through with the meds. With the meds, I was still depressed all the time, but, I was sick with side effects all the time too. I turned to running 3 miles a day, moderate weight training, and trying to focus my attention on being useful and helpful to others. Did these things cure my depression? No, but, it helped and I'm fit, physically healthy, and a useful, helpful member of society. Did I get over my chronic insomnia? Yes, but I still have sleepness nights when I'm over stressed (often).

Living with depression is very difficult, but it is still living. I used to isolate because I couldn't stand being around other people when I was depressed (which was all the time). Everything that I heard others say (even if it wasn't directed at me) sounded like a sharp criticism of my self-worth. I still experience these things, but, I don't isolate so much anymore. I'm learning that I can have a good, productive life, even if I'm not filled with glee all the time.

This sounds like "bite the bullet", "tough it out", etc., and it is. This is where I've ended up after years of struggling with doctors, shrinks, therapists, and meds. I hope you have better luck with meds than I did, but if not, life is not over, it's just tougher than it is for some (but not all) other folks.

Working out and socializing with gentle friends are the best anti-depressants that I've found. Getting someone that's depressed to exercise is a tough job, though, cause it's feels impossible to get started. Remember what runner Jim Fixx once said though: "The hardest part about running is putting your shoes on." I try to remember that whenever I find myself telling myself that "I can't do [whatever] because I'm so depressed". I've noticed many times that once I actually "put my shoes on" (get started), I can usually follow through with the rest of the activity. I can no longer tolerate being idle; it's too depressing.