Depressed and pregnant - Depression Message Board

MilkNKisses · 06-04-2003, 09:59 AM

I usually hang out on the pregnancy boards, but thoes women all wanted to be pregnant or are trying to get pregnant and I dont want to upset them.

Im 7 months pregnant with a baby that I didnt plan but I didnt feel I could abort. I have been with my boyfriend and father of the baby for almost 6 years.

I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember, my last suiside attempt was about 10 years ago .. I was a cronic cutter .. but I had been totaly fine throught my whole relationship with my boyfriend until now.

I dont know if its pregnacy hormones or if Im going compleatly off the edge again but Im obsessed with dying ... I think about it all the time ... I cut myself again and I feel like utter dirt about that .. my boyfriend is being distant and I dont say as I blame him .. Im not the girl I used to be and he has never seen me like this ...

I dont know what to do. Im scared to ask my doctor for meds, I dont want them to like take the baby or something becuase Im depressed, I also worry that if Im this bad now, what about after the baby?

Any sugestions would be most appreciated, I dont have anyone to talk to .. and Im feeling so alone right now.

evagelou · 06-04-2003, 10:37 AM

You have to hang in there! Things will get better, I promise! Depression is always temporary. I know you feel like dying, but you have to think about the baby too. Imagine when it is born how happy you'll be once you've overcome your depression! You have to be strong and get some help immediately! As for taking meds while pregnant, i don't know much, but if you are suicidal you should seek treatment immediately! You are not alone, i hope this helps!

Ellen

RedeemedHeart · 06-04-2003, 12:40 PM

You should defiantly talk to your Dr. I have four children and have suffered for many years with depression. They can't take your child from you for being depressed. As long as you are caring for the child properly and able to care for yourself.

I am not positive but I think you can take some antidepressant while pregnant. Prozac maybe, not sure...anyway, talk to someone, your Dr. or go to your town’s mental health agency. It is probably a combination of your hormones and underlying fear since this child was not planned.

There is quite a bit of good information and help out there for “self injurers” these days. There is no shame in having a problem, only in not attempting to do something about it.

Think positive, some of the greatest people in the world were once unplanned pregnancies.
You can do anything you need to do, don't look too far ahead and let yourself get freaked out.
I will say a prayer for you.
Blessings,
Kathy

HeyThere · 06-04-2003, 03:22 PM

Hi-It is your body getting ready to make the milk topped off with your emotional issues, topped off with your temporary physical condition of being preg. It is like a temporary identity crisis. You are still you-you just have an 18 year job ahead of you.

I don't think 70% of people on this earth were "planned" but it does not mean they were not loved.

You can plan all you want- but be ready for life's curve balls- if you expect the curve balls to happen then you should be better able to cope. You can even plan what to do if there is a curve ball.

Sometimes/mostly men have their own way of coping with life changing events by distancing themselves-temporary-until they are ready. He cannot read your mind-remember this. Have him hold your hand during birth-don't let him see the birthing process -it can be traumatic for some men. and let him bottle feed the baby so he can bond too-it does make a positive influence.

Get your support system ready before you deliver - maid service for 6 weeks or mother to help around the house while you recoup and dedicate/bond with your infant it is worth all the money in the world.

As for now keep your mind busy reading and learning about the stages of infancy to toddlerhood. because you won't have time later. Get some sleep if you can still do that. and get him to rub your feet and you his.

It is the best unpaid and sometimes thankless job you will ever have; when you look back in eighteen years you will think it is the most priceless gift you have been granted. but remember it takes dedication and pacience (sp) in the formative years 0-5.

Your body is in a temporary state and so are your hormones. Take your prenatal vitamins even after you give birth it helps your body recoupe faster.

My 3 and half year old boss is telling me to get off the computer now.

limomof3 · 06-04-2003, 08:28 PM

I want to first say, pregnancy does strange things to our minds and bodies. I've been taking anti-depressants since 1996 (after my 1st child was born). When I got pregnant with my 3rd child in 2000, I was taking Paxil at the time. I tried to go off of it, and got very sick. I stayed on it for the entire pregnancy and my baby is fine (he's 2 now).
You should definately talk to your doctor (OB) immediately. It's a normal thing to feel the way you are and depression is a "real" thing. No one can take the baby from you because your feeling this way. Once the baby is born, definately continue on some type of medication... especially if you're feeling suicidal. Postpartum depression is very common and an antidepressant will definately help you.
Just think, you are going to have someone who needs you and loves you and will smile at you everytime you hold them. Men don't understand what pregnancy does to us and sometimes become standoffish .. until they hold their child. Just tell him you are feeling overwhelmed, scared, depressed ... ask him to be patient with you.
Please don't hurt yourself ... there are people in this world who care about you and your baby! I'm one of them ... I'm responding to you and listening and want you to know it's going to be ok. Believe me, there are days I still feel alone and depressed and I have three beautiful children and a supportive husband.
You can keep writing to me if you want, ok? Take care.