Bad therapists - Depression Message Board

wannabehotguy · 07-04-2003, 08:11 PM

Has anybody ever been to a bad therapist that insists there is nothing wrong with you? Two therapists comes to mind. I went to them wanting to improve on my social skills and learn how to be less nervous around people. All I got out of these two therapists was that there is nothing wrong with me and everything is just fine and dandy and normal.

The good therapist I still go to works with me on improving social behavior and changing negative thoughts to positive thoughts. And never puts me down by saying that I am normal and I don't need to work on anything.

14allall41 · 07-04-2003, 10:26 PM

There are many great Therapist and there a few good Therapist. Great Therapist, listen to themselves. Good Therapist listen to their patients. I am totally disabled and Therapy is in my mind just as important as the drugs if not more. A good Therapist knows that everyone is different, anything is possible and that most writings on mental health issues are preying on the desperate. How many studies are negative to what the author is trying to promote? If a Therapist can go home each night, leave their work at the job and get a good nights sleep without a thought to the decisions that they have made in their patients lives that day, then I want nothing to do with them. They are full of knowledge but lack the wisdom to question their own abilities. It is a team effort and unfortunately for a Good Therapist, it will affect their life as well because not everything is in books and like I said, "Any thing is possible", and every case is different.

ffsmith · 07-04-2003, 11:18 PM

Hey wannabehotguy,
I know what you mean but you are talking kind of crazy.

“. And never puts me down by saying that I am normal and I don't need to work on anything.”

It is never a put down to be called normal and well.

I understand that you have things that you want to work on and these therapists are not being helpful to you. But I do not think that they are hurting you other then taking your money.

This would be a put down “You are just awful. How did you ever make it this far I life. All your education and you are still a stupid idiot. What in the heck is wrong with you? I am ashamed that you are my son. Why can’t you be more normal like your brother and sisters? You are a looser. Take a hold of yourself and snap out of it because you are totally worthless the way you are.”

Therapists have to walk a fine line. They need to help you. But they also need to encourage you. I guess sometimes this encouragement can seem like a lie or bad therapy.

They might not be the right therapists for you, but try not to be too hard on them.

Sometimes I think that my therapist should come and see where I actually live.
Come and see my work place and actually try and see how I interact with people.

If not that, they should at least ask a million questions to get a good idea about these things.
Like you said every one is different. I think that most therapists need to dig deeper.
I am sure some do
Some teachers do this too.
And some doctors.
But most do not. None that I have seen.

My therapist did go and have a meeting with the lawyer with me once.
That was really great.
Her advice, “you are right that lawyer is no good”
It did not help my legal problems, but at least it was not just me?

they need to take notes too. I hate it when they forget things that I have said over and over. I feel like I might as well be talking to a wall....

Which actually I have tried. It helps but not as much

[This message has been edited by ffsmith (edited 07-05-2003).]

BethyM · 07-05-2003, 08:11 AM

Those therapists are a waste of time and money!

wannabehotguy · 07-06-2003, 02:52 PM

See what I meant is that I went to this one therapist with a couple of problems that I wanted to work on. And one of them had to do with getting along with my Dad and changing my thoughts and attitudes so that I would not have lowered self esteem every time my hostile Dad exploded with rage at me. When I brought this up the therapist whom is also a man quickly changed the subject to that I am normal and Dad are just that way and I need to go and thank my Dad for everything. Then he wanted to talk about how school was going. I felt put down by his refusal to help me and on top of that he empathisied with my Dad instead of me. I left that office feeling as if I was definatly a BAD person. When in actuality my Dad had been verbally attacking and abusing me since I was 5 years old and my self esteem and confidence was at ZERO.
If ever a therapist gives me a compliment or positive feedback about my progress or qualities then I am ever so thankful. But in this case I was angered and felt put down.