How does your significant other deal with your depression? - Depression Message Board

curt34 · 08-12-2003, 10:18 AM

I have suffered with depression for some time and only recently it has become more severe. I dated and married a wonderful woman and for most of our dating I was able to control my depression around her. Now that we live together it's harder to do since I want to sleep a lot etc...Anyway, she gets very frustrated and feels that I'm doing her and our new baby a disservice by putting them through this. I try to explain that I certainly don't want to be in this state and "can't help it often times". She is very loving woman, but she is having trouble with this, because she has never been around depression. How do you handle it in your relationships?

sleekgirla · 08-12-2003, 04:08 PM

I also have depression. I sleep all of the time too, SO does my mother. So my depression is genetic. My husband knew when I married him that I had this problem. He gets mad at me for sleeping all of the time too, but we always talk about it when he starts getting really worried about it. I just tell him I don't know what I am getting up for. Have you tried any meds?? If so, maybe you should go to your doctor and get on a new medication. ALso try not to spend your time in the bedroom or wherever you usally want to sleep. When you get home from work or whatever you do, DON'T go to the bedroom until it is night time when you go to bed. Keep a note on the bedroom door so you can see it every time you start to walk towards the bedroom so you'll have a reminder you are not supposed to be in the bedroom unless it is night time and you and your wife are going to bed together. I always have my husband come with me when I go to the doctor also, whenever I am going for depression so that he can hear what the doctor is saying, and realize that I am telling the truth when I tell him I cannot help the sleeping I do. If I think of anything else I will tell you. I will talk to my husband and see what helps him deal with my depression.

sleekgirla · 08-12-2003, 04:10 PM

I also have depression. I sleep all of the time too, SO does my mother. So my depression is genetic. My husband knew when I married him that I had this problem. He gets mad at me for sleeping all of the time too, but we always talk about it when he starts getting really worried about it. I just tell him I don't know what I am getting up for. Have you tried any meds?? If so, maybe you should go to your doctor and get on a new medication. ALso try not to spend your time in the bedroom or wherever you usally want to sleep. When you get home from work or whatever you do, DON'T go to the bedroom until it is night time when you go to bed. Keep a note on the bedroom door so you can see it every time you start to walk towards the bedroom so you'll have a reminder you are not supposed to be in the bedroom unless it is night time and you and your wife are going to bed together. I always have my husband come with me when I go to the doctor also, whenever I am going for depression so that he can hear what the doctor is saying, and realize that I am telling the truth when I tell him I cannot help the sleeping I do. If I think of anything else I will tell you. I will talk to my husband and see what helps him deal with my depression.

curt34 · 08-12-2003, 04:34 PM

Thanks sleekgirla! I think I'll take my wife to my next appointment. I have thought about it, but with her renewed agitation I think I need to do it sooner than later. I need her to understand the reality of depression. She comes from a family that simply never had any depression, so it's difficult for her to grasp. Thanks again.

wannabehotguy · 08-14-2003, 02:15 PM

I am not married but my Dad was had complete apathy towards my depression. In fact he told me that I had been making it up for years just to get attention and to get on his nerves.

[This message has been edited by wannabehotguy (edited 08-14-2003).]