momyonthego

Hello all.

I have my MRI tomorrow. I am sure that I have either ALS, MS or something worse. I know--I am not a doctor so how could I be sure. I have all of the symptoms, and they are getting worse everyday. My elbows and hands cramp all of the time. I get cramps in my calves just walking around the house. I am so tired of the pain, and not being able to take care of my kids. I just hope that, whatever this is, I am able to live a long, healthy, happy and active life. My children need me.

If I am diagnosed with something that will leave me disabled, I am thinking about divorcing my husband. His attitude toward health issues is not very loving or supportive. During this waiting time for my MRI, he has reassured me that he loves me. But, he is such an active man. He wants to backpack through Europe when he retires. He wants to ski. He loves leading an active life. I see how he has acted these past few weeks when I have been ill. He is disappointed and disgusted in me because I cannot even walk without discomfort. He tries to hide it, but I can see it. I hate myself, and I hate the look in his eyes when he looks at me. I hate myself because I can't keep the house clean these past few weeks, nor have I taken my children out to do anything. My husband deserves a wife who is active, and can do the things that he wants to do. My children deserve an active mother.

I am just so anxious and depressed at the same time. (if that is possible).

Just think positive thoughts of me these next few days. I appreciate it.