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Old 04-13-2006, 07:16 AM   #1
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Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

I am currently spending most of my time at home waiting for the antidepressant medication to work, and honestly, I知 not quite sure why I知 doing this except that I hope to be able to maintain contact with the outside world, and hopefully get into a positive discussion of some sort while I知 just staying home waiting for the antidepressant to work, hopefully to keep 斗ooking on the bright side while that痴 going on.

I知 a guy, and I was in an emotionally/verbally abusive marriage for nine years. After the divorce was final in July of 2003, I finally started to have some peace, and actually got to spend the entire summer of 2004 with primary timesharing of my son, who is now 9. Then in August of 2004 my ex and her husband announced that they were going to relocate 1500 miles away, and, of course, take my son that 1500 miles away. If I wanted to 堵o on about being abused, which I don稚, particularly, I could say that I was abused by my ex, her husband, her attorney, and the judge. But I don稚 want to have to think about that right now, because I have to focus on getting through this depressive episode and getting on with life.

It痴 funny that the depression 田aught up with me when it did, because I had just been 砺indicated as far as my son being relocated 1500 miles away from me. I followed as soon as I could, and found out that there were behavioral indicators that my son was showing that demonstrated that he really needed a more constant and consistent relationship with me- and those behavioral indicators decreased after I got here, closer to him. But I guess what happened is that all the stress caught up with me, and I started having insomnia and nightmares, which then evolved into anxiety attacks (I guess because of my own relocation after having spent 27 years in the other city), and then that deteriorated into depression. I致e been doing some research on the physiology of stress-related depression, and the only way I can account for my depression 澱eginning when it did is that all the physiological stress caught up with me then, after I had been 砺indicated, and 都hould have felt much better.

So I知 not exactly sure why I知 posting, except for some human contact during this period of time. I know it痴 going to just be a matter of time before the antidepressant starts to really work, and I知 not sure what there is to say about that. I do have people that are 努atching out for me, that are seeing to it that I get what I need as far as survival issues are concerned. Anybody who wants to respond to this is welcome to. I just don稚 have much contact with the outside world, and I知 in a new city and don稚 really know anybody except these people from my son痴 church who are helping me take care of basics. I mostly stay home because I have a lot of anxiety over doing anything that might cost money, because I won稚 be able to get a job at least until the sedative effects of the medication wear off, and I may even need to wait for the psychiatrist to give me permission to go back to work.

I know I haven稚 left much for anybody to respond to, but I need to maintain some kind of contact with the outside world. Any comments or conversation would be appreciated.

Actually, one point I could throw out for discussion is that I致e recently read about 田omplex stress disorder, which is actually a form of PTSD with a component of depression, and that痴 what I think is happening with me. The theory behind this is that, stress over long periods of time causes the adrenal glands (which are right on top of the kidneys, but do something else entirely) to produce hormones that are meant to protect the body during stressful situations. The problem is that high levels of these hormones can cause actual physical changes in the parts of the brain that regulate emotion, such that the person becomes depressed. This may account for the odd timing of my depressive episode. And I would toss out the idea that those of you who are under constant stress now should look to the future, because your nervous system can only take so much before it crashes, even if something good happens. You could be in the beginning stages of a worse depression that may not catch up with you until ten years from now.

 
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Old 04-13-2006, 04:36 PM   #2
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

Hi harlequin and welcome to the Boards!

Posting here and just reading what others have to say can be a big help when you're feeling depressed. I can relate completely to what you're saying about stress. I've had depression off and on for much of my life, but recently it took a real turn for the worse when we moved after having lived in the same house/city for 14 years (that was by far the longest I had ever lived in one house/place!) The move itself was very difficult, I hated our new city and our house (which needs lots of work and it's so hard to be UP to dealing with contractors, construction workers, etc.). I ended up in a state of heavy duty anxiety with bouts of extreme sadness and hopelessness. I wasn't sleeping well at all, maybe 2-3 hours a night, which I think really brought everything to a head. So, I really feel the same way as you, that depression/stress "caught up with me". I was dealing with it okay for many years, then I just couldn't deal at all anymore.

I'm starting to feel better (for now anyway, though one never knows when the crash could come again). I've been searching for these last months for ways to deal with depression/anxiety. I've tried some ADs (no luck there so far). What's helping me right now is daily walking, meditation, & deep breathing exercises, anti-anxiety meds in low dosages, occasionally, and sleeping pills as needed (I know, I will become addicted to those, but what to do?) I'm trying hard not to let myself stress out over things that I have no control over, though of course that's difficult when you have anxiety and depression. I'm mentioning all of this because maybe some of these things might be of help to you as well. These are things you might could try in addition to your ADs.

I think you're absolutely right about adrenal hormones and stress having a profound effect on mental health. Somehow we have to learn how to get ourselves out of "stress mode" and into a more relaxed state of mind (much easier said than done of course). I wish you the best, and hope your meds kick in soon. Please keep posting here, there will be lots of folks to "talk" to here who understand what you're going through.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 04:56 PM   #3
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

Thank you. That was just the "reality check" that I needed. I had a whole lot of stress and then got insomnia, and things just went all to hell from there. I just got up from a nap about an hour ago, and I feel really nice and refreshed.

And it's "funny" how irrational anxiety can disturb sleep (although I have some rational anxiety), and then get all blown out of proportion because of the lack of sleep.

I really wish I could make myself sit still long enough to do meditation. I'm a Buddhist, and I've just read a really interesting book by Daniel Goleman and the Dalai Lama about the beneficial effects of meditation, but it's just so hard to sit still like that...

What you're taking for sleep might not be addictive. There are three new ones that are not.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 05:25 PM   #4
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

Wow...you mentioned adrenal glands in your post!! My gyn let me borrow a book of hers that deals with adrenal fatigue & stress. I had my hormone levels checked and my DHEA level came back very high (it's been creeping up since my hysterectomy in June). She did a CAT scan to rule out adrenal tumors. She's still mystified as to why the DHEA is so high. I do know that it is produced in the adrenal glands. My testosterone level is also high (and I'm not even taking any hormone meds for that!!). We may be on to something here.....kind of like that song, the hip bone is connected to the thigh bone, etc...... you get the picture!
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Last edited by roz5; 04-13-2006 at 05:26 PM.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 05:42 PM   #5
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

We could get in over our heads discussing hormones, but it's all pretty interesting. What I've read says that cortisol is what inhibits cell replacement in the hippocampus, and that's what mediates the depression. I've also read that SSRI's facilitate cell replacement in the hippocampus, and tricyclics to a lesser extent, and that's what facilitates feeling better.

I AM NOT A DOCTOR, but I just "Googled up" DHEA and testosterone, and it looks to me like they should be helping instead of making you feel worse. But it may be completely different in females- like I say, I'm not a doctor.

It would be interesting to know if your cortisol is high too.

 
Old 04-13-2006, 05:53 PM   #6
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

Cortisol is actually on the low side! I was thrown into surgical menopause, which means my DHEA should be low (I'm guessing). It's all a mystery. Hopefully, I can get answers from the endocrinologist. I just wish that you were feeling better!
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Old 04-13-2006, 09:54 PM   #7
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

Quote:
Originally Posted by harlequin
What you're taking for sleep might not be addictive. There are three new ones that are not.
harlequin (love your name by the way), Can you tell me what the three non-addictive ones are?

It's interesting what you're saying about stress preceding depression. I've long suspected that exact thing. I can remember having a lot of stress at times in my childhood, but no depression until later, in adolescence, when the stress got even worse. I couldn't handle the stress anymore, and I became depressed. Seeing that same thing happen again so obviously (with my recent stressful move), made me look back and see the connection between stress and depression. I now think stress always precedes depression.

How are you feeling tonight? Better I hope.

Last edited by oceandreams; 04-13-2006 at 09:55 PM.

 
Old 04-14-2006, 06:13 AM   #8
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

You know i have been going threw similar things, i had a very bad childhood and i was always able to cope but for some reason now its all hitting me very hard and i cant exactly tell anyone why or what it is thats bothering me. Depression is a hard thing to deal with! Especially when you have very few people to talk to! I have been posting on this board for a couple weeks and found everyone on here to be very conciderate and give great advice! Good luck and i hope something makes you feel just a little better!

 
Old 04-14-2006, 06:39 AM   #9
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Re: Just waiting for the antidepressant to work...

Good morning, ocean, and everybody.

I can only give you an I think regarding the supposedly non-habituating sleep medications, and say that you need to look them up yourselves and thoroughly discuss it with a doctor. But as far as I know they're non-benzodiazepine, and there's one that has been approved for use up to six months (I think, and I can't remember which one). But the medications themselves are Lunesta, Ambien, and Sonata. Of course there's melatonin, which I think probably everybody knows about. And valerian.

I am feeling better today. As I accumulate good sleep, I feel better. I still have some accumulated anxieties, as in, if I got anxious about one particular thing (like just going out) before the medication, I'm still kind of anxious about it. My whole deal is primarily about sleep.

I may ask to talk about issues today, except I may not want to go too deep into those such that I get depressive again. One of those issues is that I moved from the sunny southwest to the Great Lakes area, and I'm wondering if just that change in sunlight may have had something to do with this. So whoever wants to look at my original post and say "Well, of course you would have reacted very stressfully to that " is allowed to do so. I know it's better to process stuff like this with a real person, probably just by way of repetetive reassurance that the reaction is understandable, but at this point, any input would help. I just think I "used up my last nerve" doing this. And although it may sound like Max Klinger in MASH, yes, my mother died right after I moved- expectedly, at 88, but it's true, and I'm not sure where that fits in, but I can imagine that it contributed to the insomnia.

 
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