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Old 06-05-2006, 10:09 PM   #1
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Unhappy Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

I am posting this post in question if any other members feel trapped in life and there is no way out due to mental illness. I suffer from severe anxiety disorder, OCD and depression.

Sometimes to me my anxiety is so high that I feel like I can almost rip through my skin and then depression settles in. I get so sad I can lie in bed and just stare at the wall. It gets so bad that sometimes suicide does not seem comforting. I feel like I am in a jar and no matter what… I will never break through into relieve.

I have tried to commit suicide couple of times… at age of 6, 12, and 14 (Zoloft influenced). I am getting psychotherapy with two different psychiatrists who work close together.

I am not on any medicine because SSRI have influenced me to desire to commit suicide in the past.

But sometimes, I just feel like so trapped in life… It is like being in a building with loud disturbing music with no exist doors.


 
Old 06-05-2006, 10:21 PM   #2
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

Yeah, I sometimes feel trapped. I also often lay in bed and just stare at the ceiling. Or I just lay in bed and read a book. Novels are a great escape for me. Unfortunately I can't stay in them forever. At some point I have to come to reality.

Take care

 
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Old 06-05-2006, 10:48 PM   #3
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Arrow Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

ImagineLennon thanks for your post. I do sometimes lay in bed and read books. Sometimes, I just wish life can pass by blink of an eye.

 
Old 06-05-2006, 11:06 PM   #4
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

Just a Boy,

Feeling trapped, and no SSRI to help you get out of there.....ugh. I'm sorry things feel like that right now. You're not alone feeling that way--I"m sure there'll be a chorus of people saying the same thing.

Have you/your docs thought about the older antidepressants, the tricyclics, at all? They work quite well for some people. One friend I know has had wonderful luck with them for over 2 decades. There's also a MAOI transdermal patch coming out, but that's supposed to require some pretty rigid dietary restrictions, at least now while it is brand new (in skin patch form). I guess I'd be a little medication-wary had I had your same experience with meds. That's really rough.

I hope talking here, finding out you're not alone helps some. Make yourself comfy here.

 
Old 06-05-2006, 11:21 PM   #5
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

I have felt like that.....I used to think every morning as I was driving to work, "If I could just swerve and hit one of those phone poles.......
Are your parents a help at all? Do you even talk to them anymore?

 
Old 06-06-2006, 12:51 AM   #6
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MacadamiaNut, my primary physician discovered I have a high blood presure also, so they dont want to put me on tricyclic antidepressent due to their cardiovascular side effects. And MAIO's can cause life threatning side effects especially in the cardiovascular system if special diet is not followed. My thyroid function is normal.

NitroChic, I only live with my mother now. My grandmother lived with us... but she died in January... she lost her battle with ovarian cancer. Since then my mother and I have fallen appart. Today, my mother told me that I was her life's biggest mistake. I just went up my room. I miss my grandmother, she was there for me when I was abused sexually by our neighbor (my mother didnt even bother to care and blamed it on me) It was difficult for me to watch my grandmother just fade into pain and die.

Last edited by Just-A-Boy; 06-06-2006 at 12:52 AM.

 
Old 06-06-2006, 01:15 AM   #7
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

JaB,

I'm so sorry your grandmother isn't there with you (without cancer) any longer. She's really been a foundation in your life, it sounds like.

hugs

 
Old 06-06-2006, 04:23 PM   #8
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Thanks for the support you guys.

 
Old 06-07-2006, 10:02 PM   #9
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Just-A-Boy
Sometimes, I just wish life can pass by blink of an eye.
Yeah, I often wish that too. Thirty-four years (pretty much) of emotional turmoil and torture is quite enough, thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just-A-Boy
Today, my mother told me that I was her life's biggest mistake.
Oh my goodness, that is a terrible thing to say! My mom has never said anything, but I think on some deep level she resents me but she doesn't know it. But for the most part we get a long. How is you relationship with your father (if he is still around)?

I really miss my gramma, too, because everytime my mom went a little psycho it was my gramma I turned to for comfort. And she could usually reason with my mom. She died in November 2003 from pancreatic cancer.

Well, I think you need some ((((((((hugs)))))))) and an to look over you. So there you go.

Take care.

Last edited by Alex6657; 06-07-2006 at 10:03 PM.

 
Old 06-08-2006, 05:09 AM   #10
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

Imagine,

"My mom has never said anything, but I think on some deep level she resents me but she doesn't know it. But for the most part we get a long."

Wow, I have the same feeling with my mom... I really think on some deep level, a part of her hates me. But I can't tell if that is the truth or if it's just my depression that perceives that.. somehow I think there is some truth to it though.

 
Old 06-09-2006, 02:24 AM   #11
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

All. The. Friggin'. Time.

I've felt that way for years now. Trapped, literally and figuratively speaking. In one sense, I feel trapped in my own mind--the metaphorical wall keeping me from truly connecting with almost everyone. I talk to them, and feel like, 'hell, they don't understand a word I'm saying'. Lately, I've been feeling this so much so that everything I say, I word in as lyrical a fashion as I can, using unnecessarily 'big' words and generally confusing the hell out of whoever I'm talking to, because otherwise I'd be bored as hell talking about movies or american idol or thier hair/nails/car (the latter usually when it's a guy). So there's that--the mental disconnectedness and feeling of being 'trapped' within myself, without another soul who understands.

And then there's the literal 'being trapped'. I'm young, 18, and living with my parents. I have a lousy job working retail at a clothes store, and couldn't move out. I tried once when I was 16 to run away to New York (I live in california) on a greyhound bus, just to see what it'd be like to be 'free'. It was the single biggest kick of my life--I loved it--right up until the cops handcuffed me to a chair at a station and told me I had to go home. I often feel I'd rather live another week free that way, on the road, then spend 60 whole years living on the way I do now, trapped in suburbia and sorrounded by all the godawful material people who just laugh inanely when I ask thier opinion on anything of even the slightest depth.

That's awful of your mom to say. My mom once told me I had 'no human compassion'. Moms must just hate having depressed kids.

 
Old 06-09-2006, 01:21 PM   #12
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

InvisibleMisfit.... Welcome to the boards.. and, that is an awesome screenname by the way.

And yes, to respond to the original post, I do feel trapped. If only the world didn't view suicide so negatively.. but whatever.

 
Old 06-09-2006, 02:10 PM   #13
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

Yes I am really trapped. I was forced to get married in an early age and forced to have kids right away. Now I feel I did not even get to choose the right guy for me. I want to leave parenthood and be single again. I am pressured at work, in the house, my kids, my parents, my ex and boyfriend. I just want to run away and disappeared for good.

 
Old 06-09-2006, 02:17 PM   #14
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

I wish I am 18 again. My advice to you is to never have kids until you are really ready financially. Finish your school. Do it with part-time job but you must finished it. You are single and that is the best. You can do whatever you want. Once you are 21 you will get more freedom.

 
Old 06-11-2006, 07:46 PM   #15
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Re: Do you ever feel "trapped" in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingSoul
Imagine,

"My mom has never said anything, but I think on some deep level she resents me but she doesn't know it. But for the most part we get a long."

Wow, I have the same feeling with my mom... I really think on some deep level, a part of her hates me. But I can't tell if that is the truth or if it's just my depression that perceives that.. somehow I think there is some truth to it though.
I know the same is true of my father also, only he actually shows it. He may not realize it either, but he does hate me and he's been showing my that my whole life.

Take Care.

 
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