I posted a thread quite some time ago here, but I never got around to doing any followup to it. I just wasn't sure what to post. Two years. Hmm. Much has changed and much has remained the same. I've continued with the Effexor and the Cloneazpam to deal with the anxiety/panic disorder. It works well enough, most of the time. It depends on the day I suppose, some days are worst then others.
I've been through far too many programs to list, in-patient and out-patient at various hospitals and clinics. None of them have really solved much of anything. I still remain without a decent diagnosis. It really depends on which doctor you ask. Heh. The last doctor seemed to be hinting at borderline personality disorder, my current one is hinting at dysthemia with occasional bouts of double depression as he calls it. My tolerance for medication isn't helping things either. I guess a year or so ago, I was at the Royal Ottawa Hospital doing their Psychological Rehabilitation program in hospital, and he just couldn't get any anti-depressants to work at all. We even ramped up the Effexor to 500 mg and change. No effect, positive or negative either. The stuff simply didn't do anything.
I've moved to Kingston, to be closer to my mother for support. I had my own apartment in Ottawa, but it didn't work out very well. I'm not terribly good with people or even money for that matter. I'm getting enough to live on, but little more then that. I'm fatigued constantly, my memory has grown much worse as has my concentration and focus. I'm always having the most idiotic, stupid nightmares about dumb things that make no sense whatsoever. It's not helping the fatigue when I can't sleep properly.
Anyway, it's pretty hard to do anything except damage control if I don't know what I have. The doctors sure as hell don't seem to. So I guess that's the current state of things.