Well, I think I've got a lot of my problems figured out. It's coming from three areas: Dr's, husband, and physical pain. But, things seem to get a lot worse on the weekends. Nothing much changes at this time except one thing: the family is home. I guess I expect him to spend a little more time with me. Instead, he gets up and first thing, on goes the tv or computer! I'm alone all week! I need a little more than this!
He hates to talk--does the eye rolling thing and so on. What should I do?
Texas, If you're there: I am refering to topamax. I hope it helps your wife and they titrate her on it properly. Just remember, I am here if she needs to talk. I didn't like water either, but the topa makes you thirsty. Now I drink it. And, WOW, my ex did take my kids out of spite for two years and we fought a battle! I wanted to die, especially after a weekend with them. Dropping them back off and seeing them cry because they wanted to be with me was the hardest thing I've ever been thru in my life. There was a couple times I nearly drove my car into a tree or off of a cliff---but, I decided at that time, I'd rather see my kids once in a while than never again. He did it just to hurt me, but he was hurting the children even more. (now wonder I'm a mess) I have my daughters now, and they really dislike their dad. My son lives with him, but is still a mommy's boy. He is nearly 17. One daughter is 19 now and on her own, but I still have one at home who is 15. I'm glad you are getting your bills paid, and I hope this vehicle works! You just never know. Please take care!!
[QUOTE=BlueSteam]Well, I think I've got a lot of my problems figured out. It's coming from three areas: Dr's, husband, and physical pain. But, things seem to get a lot worse on the weekends. Nothing much changes at this time except one thing: the family is home. I guess I expect him to spend a little more time with me. Instead, he gets up and first thing, on goes the tv or computer! I'm alone all week! I need a little more than this!
He hates to talk--does the eye rolling thing and so on. What should I do?
You're right, I think: you do have most of your probs figured out. the only solution i see from here as you describe your relationship with your "rolling eyes" husband is marriage counseling, since he won't listen to you. i know that many spouses resent and refuse any suggestion from the other about such counseling and he may not be willing to do it. if not, you've got to learn how to live around his style. remember too, of course, that weekends are his time off, so watching the tv may be his therapy. there's no better solution than communication, but unfortunately, communication is sometimes just not going to happen. get the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and put it on his pillow one night. even if he won't read it, it has some good insights for both sexes and it might be useful for you to read it whether he does or not. Best of luck to you. Perhaps others will have some additional suggestions.
Pie, I have heard so much about that book but never have looked at it--I'll have to check it out. I really don't think that my husband thinks we have a problem, as long as he's not affected. Maybe if I mention counseling his eyes might just open up a little. I kind of did what some others mentioned and let some of the house go, and didn't cook some meals...well....he just ate whatever, and let the house get messier. Anyway, thanks for the advice, I'll see what happens.
I must really be desperate replying to myself Just kidding...it makes me feel better even if I can sit here and just type it out.
We were sitting outside last night and my husband was talking about how he had a couple of his cc bills paid off and was going to do this and that now--instead of helping me out. He bragged about how he pays tripple the amount on all his bills. When all this time he could be helping me. Must be nice to be able to pay all your bills at the beginning of the month and be done with it. All the while, I struggle on wc. I cannot get my daughter on any insurance programs with the state because of his wages!!! He said he would help..to the tune of 400$ a month from me. I know, I've cried this before, but I'm still so shocked over it. I keep asking myself what have I ever done to deserve this. I swore I would never get married again, I waited years before I did, and now look. I don't know what to do. I am slowly going into financial ruin. He has made me keep my own name, now I understand why. I guess maybe I lied, depression can hit during the week too. I feel like I have hit my all-time low, I would give anything for a hug.
Texas, Thank you for the hugs. I have had such a rotten last couple of days You must think I'm crazy by now. I'm sorry you won't be making your trip. I hope everything is alright--let me know if I can help. I was getting worried about you. You keep me from going insane also, thanks friend.
I have my appt. today. The nurse called to remind me yesterday and said it was with the neuro-science dept. I still don't know what that is. I do know that it is for anxiety that I don't have anymore. I occasionally have one when I have to see my ex-husband, but nothing I can't deal with. I have a restraining order on him at this time. (been divorced 15 years and still have him bothering me) Anyway, that appt is at 11, then I have to try to get my daughter a physical, she has decided to go out for cheerleading. I let my oldest daughter in on my problems yesterday--just had to talk to someone. Hope I didn't make a mistake, as she has a mouth on her sometimes.
I really hope this dr can help me today, whoever or whatever he is. Not sure when I will be back home, there's a lot of running to do, but I will check in with you later and let you know what this appt was all about.
Please don't let anything get you down! I'll talk to you later. (glad you're back) Your friend, Blue
Hi, went to my appt today at the neuro-science dept. and actually what it is-ha! is a bunch of psychologists. So, I thought maybe I was going to get to at least talk to someone. This dr is a nice guy, but all he did was ask me a lot of questions, for a full hour. Then he told me that I really do have a lot to be depressed about. He gave me a script of remeron to take for two weeks before I come back to see him. I told him I didn't want to take it while I'm on the topa so he changed my appt for four weeks. Honestly, I don't want to take anymore pills. Why not just fix what's bothering me, or teach me how to deal with it?? I told him what caused my frustration and hurt, and really it's only a couple things. We really didn't get into any detail tho. I think he was just trying to get to know me. I should have hid the fact that two family members commited suicide. Flags went up! I'm just not the type. Even now, with my pain, I love life and I could never hurt my kids the way I remember being hurt when it happened. I still carry that hurt with me. So, now I have to wait four weeks before I see him again just because of a med. I really don't understand why he can't see me whether or not I'm taking the stuff. I wish he would have asked me if I wanted to take something. I should have spoke up, just not good at that. So, we didn't get far, maybe that's standard? At least it's a start.