I get so tired of fighting it all. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way and I'm not supposed to want to give up, but I do. It's just been sooo long that I've been fighting the depression and the PTSD. It seems like if I have a good day or two and think I can be alright for awhile that then the next day I'll just wake up with that overwhelming depression in the pit of the stomach that I can't get rid of and want to give up the fight. It seems like after years of counseling it should be getting manageable. I have made progress andt here ARE times when I can see that I handle things differently but those times are so few and far between. Sorry, I just need to vent. I just need someone to listen tonight. My psych is on Thanksgiving holidays and I don't want to bother him; he's really good to me and deserves a few days without having to listen to me whine....
Thanks..hope you all are hanging in there.
I could just cry....but really I can't..because I don't.....
There is so much more you can do for yourself. Have you checked out your thyroid function. There is a simple test you can do to see if you are iodine difficient. The medical thyroid tests are not very acurate. Ask for help from who ever you see as your God. When we sincerely ask for help our prayers will be answered, but we need to make the effort. Don't expect a cure from one practictioner. You will need help from different people with different skills. It will take time, but the reward will be a cure. Drugs suppress the symptoms of depression, which is all that some people want. Have you tried St. Johns Wart? It is a natural herb well recognized as an effective mood balancer. Not a cure, but will get you through the bad times until you have sorted things out.
I get so tired of fighting it all. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way and I'm not supposed to want to give up, but I do.
LostinTime, I think that you can feel this way, these are your feelings! Just don't act on them and give up! You said that you have make progress! Could you ask your therapist what could be done or change in therapy to make more progress faster? Is your therapist a PTSD therapist?
Why not have a good cry? Crying can be very therapeutic. Please talk to someone about how you are feeling! If you are on meds, it is possible that the meds need to be changed. One thing that I am talking to my pdoc about is that the med that I have been on for the past four years could be losing its effectiveness.
Thanks for all your replies. I'll try to answer your questions here.
Yes, I'm on Cymbalta. I had hoped to try to get off of it,but it made me sick and I just couldn't handle the naseau right now.
I'm being treated for PTSD by a psych. It just feels,on some days, like two steps forward and ten steps back.
Why not have a good cry? Yes, crying is helpful at times, but most of the time I can't cry. I feel it inside but nothing comes to the surface. That was what I meant when I said I can't cry. Crying tears just does not come for me...often....
I had some bad nights this week with nightmares but I"ve been better the past few days, I guess.
Oh, and I've tried many other antidepressants. None of them have worked for long. I doubt the Cybalta is working much now, but I"m still on it. I did try St. John's Wort but it had no effect on me. Thanks
I live for one day a week. The day I get my son is the only day that counts. I love him and he loves me unconditionaly. This is why I live and this is how I get through the other six days. Without him...I don't even want to think about it.
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder