Depressed, for the first time in my life. . .
I don't know where else to turn. I'm a 51 yr. old woman, happily married for 29 yrs. I live in NJ, my parents live in CA, where they've been for 29 yrs. My dad was diagnosed with advanced, stage 4, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, back in June. I've flown out there five times since then, and it's been horrible. He's so sick and weak, chemo doesn't seem to be helping at all, aside from making him weaker and more sick. In addition to my dad's terminal illness, my yellow lab, 2 1/2 yrs. old, just died from cancer two weeks ago, which really shocked us. I loved him so much, I can't even think about him without crying. I have no kids at home anymore, so my dog was everything to me. My husband works full-time, which makes it easier to adjust. I don't work outside our home, and it leaves me too much time to think about how horrible my life is right now. I've lost 20 lbs. over the last eight months, which I needed to lose, but I wasn't even trying, which is the strangest thing of all. I suppose I'm "clinically depressed", and I just can't admit it to my doctor. I feel like a failure, admitting to depression. Any suggestions as to what I can do to make this depression go away?? Thanks.