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Old 12-04-2006, 11:34 AM   #1
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deb0521 HB User
depression and meds

I have had had major depression off and on since I was 20 years old. I am currantly battling major depression again. I have always responded to medications. But now I am scared that for some reason I won't. I am 46 year old woman. I am perimenopausal. I have been on lexapro for about 2 and a half weeks and I don't feel any better. In addition, I am very nervous and anxious, Like a constant fear. I am also on klonapin, and buspar. I am also on ambian cr which is not making me sleep now. It did at first, But not now. I am scared. I am a christian and I put my faith and trust in God. I just need to talk to people who have been where I am now. Thanks and God Bless.

PS Christmas is everywhere and I have no desire for it right now. I am really down. I have a 12 Year old son and a wonderful husband. Everything was just fine until weeks ago. I woke up and it was as thought my brain chemistry had changed overnight.

Last edited by deb0521; 12-04-2006 at 11:35 AM.

 
Old 12-04-2006, 04:48 PM   #2
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Re: depression and meds

oh my gosh! you sound so much like me. i am a christian also. 43 years old. i'm dealing with major depression too. its a fight for life. literally. i have been suicidal but not so much now. i'm on prozac that is helping me deal with other issues better. i tried to avoid meds at all cost. i was in counseling but it just wasn't enough anymore. i was doing self injury and HAD to go on meds. so i know part of my depression is chemical and also genitics. runs in my family.

i get nervous and anxious. right now i dont' really want to deal with people. i want to withdrawl. depression is a monster. i take ambian cr to sleep some nights other wise i get maybe 4-5 hours. but i dont' like to take it all the time.

i dread christmas coming. dont' like the holidays anymore. both my parents died around the holidays. not at the same time. then i lost my old beloved cat of 22 years that sent me into a major depression. its been over a year now but apparently according to my professional counselor i've been depressed all my life and never knew it.

i feel like a total failure to myself and to God. admiting i can't deal with this depression anymore. i cant'. I remember His word says He will not let us endure anything we can't handle but still I have to wonder sometimes.

well, i've accepted that i have a illness. depression is an illness and we need help. as much as we dont' want to admit it even christians need help. we are only human. you gotta give your med more time. i did't believe it when they said it takes up to 8 weeks for a med to work. i know that for a fact now. i've been on prozac for about 3 months now and its fully working. i get down still but not like i was. being suicidal is the worse and i'm not there right now like i was. also i wonder if your hormones are going nuts. i had to have a hysterectomy so never went through perimenopause. i hope you feel better...

 
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Old 12-04-2006, 06:31 PM   #3
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Happy Days HB User
Re: depression and meds

deb0521,

I know what you are going through. I am also 46 and wonder if part of my depression is caused by me being perimenopausal. I had a blood test this past summer but my OBGYN said I am not in menopause yet. I had a hysterectomy 9 years ago but still have my ovaries. I have suffered with depression most of my life due to hereditary and stress. I am currently suffering with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). I have been in both inpatient and outpatient hospitalization last month and cannot work right now. My doctor has me on 300 mgs of Effexor, 60 mgs of Cymbalta, and 1 mg of Ativan. I was also given Trazadone, Seroquel, and Ambien in the hospital and still could not go to sleep. I was suicidal which led to my initial hospitalization. Now I am coping to beat this depression but it seems to have the best of me right now. Can't even tell if the meds are working and I am getting tired of trying all of these meds. It is really hard to tell if it is my hormones or a chemical imbalance that is causing my depression. I am also a Christian yet I can't understand why I have these feelings of hopelessness. It is times like this when we have to press, and I mean press, pray, and continue to have faith that no matter how bad the depression or the suicidal thoughts, they are just that...thoughts caused by this awful illness. Thank God, He knows the conditions of our hearts and I believe even this depression has a purpose in my life. Just wish I knew what it is.

Last edited by Happy Days; 12-04-2006 at 06:33 PM.

 
Old 12-04-2006, 07:35 PM   #4
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Pianoman1959 HB User
Question Re: depression and meds

Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Days
deb0521,

I am also a Christian yet I can't understand why I have these feelings of hopelessness. It is times like this when we have to press, and I mean press, pray, and continue to have faith that no matter how bad the depression or the suicidal thoughts, they are just that...thoughts caused by this awful illness. Thank God, He knows the conditions of our hearts and I believe even this depression has a purpose in my life. Just wish I knew what it is.
I am puzzled by this entire thread?? Depression is a disease. What does being a Christian have to do with it?

Last edited by Pianoman1959; 12-04-2006 at 07:39 PM.

 
Old 12-05-2006, 05:41 AM   #5
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deb0521 HB User
Re: depression and meds

My christianity helps me to cope with my disease. God is there when no one else is. He understands when no one else does. I realize that its a disease, but God helps me to cope with it. God is my rock.

 
Old 12-05-2006, 03:52 PM   #6
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Happy Days HB User
Re: depression and meds

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pianoman1959
I am puzzled by this entire thread?? Depression is a disease. What does being a Christian have to do with it?

Pianoman,

Christians believe that God is able to give us strength and true healing through our faith. Doctors only have the ability to prescribe medications, treatments, or perform surgeries to combat the symptoms of the diseases, whether it is depression, cancer, diabetes, etc. They do not have the ability to heal. I have to draw my strength to fight this disease, from God and I will keep that faith regardless of what my mind and body is telling me. Even if I only have the faith of a "mustard seed". As Christians, we are encouraging each other in this thread.

 
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