Too much stress, too much worrying, too much anxiety, too much of everything!!!
It's been a while since I've posted my own thread here. I usually don't have the time to keep checking back on it, but it's always good to know it's a place to come to when I have no where else to go. For some background info, I'm 16, attending highschool in grade 11 (yet taking grade 12 classes), and I'm currently working a seasonal job that ends monday next week. I've been suffering from depression for 4 years now.
The past few weeks have been non stop stress. The stress is mainly from school, have so much stuff do before my holidays and even if I try to do it I just end up wasting my time doing nothing because I can't sit down and concentrate on what I'm doing. Today already I've been sitting at my computer for 3 hours trying to get something done, and I've just let myself get distracted. I have an assignment for computer programming due tomorrow that I've had two weeks to do, and I still don't know what to do even though I had so much time to ask for help. The work is worse enough, but just being there is awful. I can't be around these people who I have nothing in common with. During the day, I just want to be alone in my bed.
This school stress (especially with the time limits) is really taking a toll on me on top of personal problems. My depression has been getting worse, concentrating on school is so hard and I feel like I have nothing to live for. My boyfriend (who is my angel and my saviour) is very keen to go back to school (college) and I am so proud of him, but now he is 6 hours away living with his parents to sort thigns out, and will be going to school there for 2 years if things work out. I need him to get through my days and talking over msn each night doesnt cut it.
Not to mention, I'm getting screwed over with my phone bill and there's not much I can do about it, even though I've tried. But mainly, I just have too mcuh going on right now and I have no time to do it. Well, I may have time, but all I can seem to do with it is waste it. I try so hard to get things done but I can't. And in my condition it's already hard enough to cope with myself as it is. If you've read this long, I appreciate the time you've taken to listen. I just needed to let it out somehow, even if these problems are still going to be very real and very unavoidable. Thanks again.